


Please don't say you love me

by ToruOikxwa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 70,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25746118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToruOikxwa/pseuds/ToruOikxwa
Summary: “Iwa-chan. Please. I’m sorry. How can I make this right?”“You can't. Not this time. You made your decision. And I can’t sit around and hope for a change that won’t come. Sign the papers, Oikawa.” The line went dead before Oikawa had a chance to argue any further. Tears began to stream down Oikawa’s cheeks as he slowly lowered the phone from his face. He’d ruined everything. Iwaizumi was his life, but he had made it so that this childhood friend of his always felt second best. It was understandable why he saw things that way, too. Oikawa wasn’t exactly a ‘giving’ husband, and he knew that Iwaizumi was unhappy. But he chose to ignore that for years in favour of playing volleyball. That was wrong of him, and he saw that now, but it took divorce papers for him to see it, and that was unacceptable.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro & Iwaizumi Hajime & Matsukawa Issei & Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime & Miya Atsumu, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Miya Atsumu, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 92
Kudos: 470





	1. Chapter 1

Oikawa’s heart sank as he opened his mailbox and saw a manilla envelope sitting there.  _ This could be anything.  _ He thought to himself as he entered the large apartment that overlooked San Juan.  _ I could be being sued. God, I hope I’m being sued. _ He already knew the contents when he read the first line:

**IN THE MATTER OF THE MARRIAGE OF:** _ Iwaizumi Hajime _ AND  _ Oikawa Tooru _ **PETITION FOR DIVORCE.**

He stared at the papers in his hands in shock. Surely Iwaizumi didn't actually want a divorce. This had to be some kind of mistake. Their marriage couldn’t be over. It had barely started. Sure, they had been married for five years, but the house that they bought together in Japan only had Iwaizumi lodging in it right now. They hadn’t even made the house  _ theirs  _ yet. How could it all be over just like that.

Tears poured from Oikawa’s eyes as he picked up his phone, and made call after call. Sent text after text. And left voicemails until Iwaizumi’s mailbox was filled. This was a mistake, right? A cruel joke to scare him. It had to be. No way was Iwaizumi actually leaving him.

All Oikawa could do was curl up in a ball and cry. He scrolled through old images of the two of them, and noticed that there hadn’t been many this past year. He hadn’t been home as much this season. Maybe that’s why Iwaizumi got upset. He convinced himself that once he got the chance to explain himself, it would all work itself out.

Sleep was almost impossible for him that night. He wouldn’t be able to rest before speaking to Iwaizumi; he knew that it was an impossible feat before Iwaizumi wanted to talk though. Oikawa sat on his sofa, looking over the city night go by, and before he knew it, the sun was rising. It had reached 6am in a flash. The only thing that played in Oikawa’s mind is what he could say when Hajime eventually called. It surely wouldn’t be too long now, he would have just gotten home from work, so he would probably be going for dinner with Makki and Mattsun soon, meaning he’d be home and settled by 10, and probably call at around 11. It really didn’t matter what time he called though, Oikawa wasn’t going to practice. He was going to sit there and wait for the phone call that he knew would come. Iwaizumi wouldn’t ignore him after he knew the papers had arrived. He would be aware that Oikawa wouldn’t sign until he had spoken to him.

Everytime Oikawa’s phone rang, he hoped it was Iwaizumi, but from 9:30 it was someone from the team calling every 15 minutes to see where he was. He didn’t answer; his love life was crumbling around him, why on earth would he answer and risk missing a call from Iwaizumi? He wished they would take the hint and stop, but they didn’t.

It was around 1pm when there was a knock on his front door; one of his teammates had come to check on him. He appreciated the intentions behind this, but he would have rather been alone now. Oikawa stood, blanket draped over his head; he hadn’t slept so he probably looked unwell. When he opened the door his teammate stepped back slightly out of shock - likely due to how he looked now compared to the previous day. It was obvious he had been crying. “You look like shit.” His teammate said, insensitively. Oikawa didn’t really feel insulted by anything his teammates said to him, because he didn’t care what they thought, but he could have at least  _ tried  _ to be nice - Oikawa did look like shit, afterall.

Oikawa rolled his eyes and turned around, walking back into the apartment, but leaving the door open so that the guy could let himself in. “Thanks for that, asshole.” He responded, sitting himself back down on the same spot on the sofa that he hadn’t moved from since the previous evening. “What are you doing here?” He asked, patience running thin.

“You didn’t call to say you weren’t coming, and you didn’t answer your phone.” He clarified, placing a grocery bag on the kitchen counter, and pulling out a carton of soup to make for Oikawa. “I came to make sure you weren’t dead.”

Oikawa glared at him as he poured the soup into a bowl and put it in the microwave. “I’ve had some personal shit happen. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone.” His teammate looked at him sympathetically, which just pissed Oikawa off more. He didn’t want anyone’s sympathy. He just wanted Iwaizumi to call him back. “Will you stop looking at me and just fuck off.” He snapped angrily, and his teammate brushed him off, starting up about how practice went, and how Oikawa was going to have to do punishment serves when he got back. He zoned out listening to the monotonal voice ramble on at him, and only zoned back in when his phone started to ring.

The screen lit up, with “Iwa-chan” and Oikawa shot up, now standing with his phone in his hand. He looked over at the colleague in his kitchen as if to tell him to shut up, and he seemed to get the hint. After a large gulp, Oikawa answered the phone, shushing his teammate in the process as the closed one of the kitchen cupboards far too loudly. “Iwa-Chan?” He asked, sheepishly. There was no answer at first, but he could hear breathing at the other end of the line, “Hajime? Are you there?” He asked, the nerves in his voice clearly displayed.

Iwaizumi let out an audible sigh. “You have sixty seconds to justify your actions. Then I want you to stop with the constant calls and texts.”

“Iwa-Chan, I am so sorry.” Oikawa started, barely missing a beat. “They offered me the contract out of the blue, and I was going to talk to you about it - I swear - but they told me that it was either a yes or it was a no. ‘Maybe’ wasn’t an option; they wouldn’t hold the place for me. But it does free me up more than my last contract, so I can spend more time at home. With you. And nowhere in Japan wanted to offer me a contract this year. You know I’m not ready to give up on my dream yet. But I love you Hajime. I don’t want to lose you.” The line went quiet, and the breathing from the other end was slightly raspy; almost as if Iwaizumi was crying, and the sound broke Oikawa’s heart. Because this was his fault. He knew it was, and he didn’t know how to make it right. “Iwa-cha...” He started, before being interrupted.

“I told you.” Iwaizumin began, the anger and hurt in his voice couldn’t be more obvious. “I told you that if you did this to me again, I was done. It was over.” His voice broke, Usually he would stop if that happened, but he was too hurt to care. “I gave you an ultimatum, and you made your choice.” A brief silence stayed unfilled as Oikawa allowed his partner time before he continued what he was saying. “What I got from what you just said, is that you were more willing to put our entire relationship on the line, than risk not playing for a year. That's all I asked for. One year with you at home instead of overseas. I don't think that's an unreasonable request, Tooru.” It wasn’t. It wasn’t unreasonable at all, and Oikawa knew it wasn’t. That’s what made this harder; it wouldn’t have killed him to give his husband a year away from volleyball. But there was no guarantee that he would be invited to play next year if he had said no this year. He wasn’t ready to end his career, but was it worth his marriage?

Iwaizumi sniffed and that was when Oikawa became certain that he was crying. He obviously didn’t have a cold, so his nose must have become runny as he lost himself in his heartbreak moments ago. “Iwa-chan. Please. I’m sorry. How can I make this right?”

“You can't. Not this time. You made your decision. And I can’t sit around and hope for a change that won’t come. Sign the papers, Oikawa.” The line went dead before Oikawa had a chance to argue any further. Tears began to stream down Oikawa’s cheeks as he slowly lowered the phone from his face. He’d ruined everything. Iwaizumi was his life, but he had made it so that this childhood friend of his always felt second best. It was understandable why he saw things that way, too. Oikawa wasn’t exactly a ‘giving’ husband, and he knew that Iwaizumi was unhappy. But he chose to ignore that for years in favour of playing volleyball. That was wrong of him, and he saw that now, but it took divorce papers for him to see it, and that was unacceptable.

His teammate had seen Oikawa crying and excused himself - they weren’t close enough for him to comfort him in a time like this. None of Oikawa’s team even knew that Oikawa was married. He didn’t wear his wedding band here, and he never spoke about Iwaizumi - not even to the few friends he had made. No wonder Iwaizumi felt unwanted.

Oikawa slowly sat himself back on the couch, head in his hands, and the afternoon slowly turned into the evening. Oikawa received a text at around 7 from Matsukawa. It simply read:  _ ‘I’m sorry this happened. But you didn’t treat him right, and I think you know that. Hanamaki and I are always happy to talk if you need to, but we won’t do any convincing for you. I don’t think he’ll ever believe a word you say again.’  _ It was harsh, but it was very Matsukawa. He was a supportive friend, and he was blunt and honest, so everything he said had what he saw as the truth included. Oikawa sobbed at the idea that Iwaizumi would never trust him again.

He looked over at the papers sat on his coffee table, and reached over; picking them up to fully read over the whole thing. After reading the first line again, he realised he couldn’t read this while completely sober. He stood, tucking the papers under his arm, and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass filled with ice, then proceeded out to the balcony where he poured and finished one glass, before pouring another and picking the papers up once again to get through them. 

His heart broke when he reached “grounds for divorce” and saw the reason listed: ‘unreasonable behaviour’. The examples of behaviour that were listed were ‘lies/deceit’, ‘emotional abuse’, and ‘lack of intimacy’. It was hard for Oikawa to believe that Iwaizumi felt this way, he hadn’t intentionally caused him suffering, and it wasn’t like he had intended to lie either, things had just turned out that way.

The more he read over the papers, he realised that these must have taken a few weeks to draw up, not a few days; Iwaizumi must have had these prepared, expecting that Oikawa would let him down again. The thought of that made Oikawa sick - Iwaizumi was prepared for their marriage to end, and Oikawa had gone and proved him right. He wondered whether or not his husband had hesitated before sending them out, and if he had, what pushed him to do it?

Oikawa fell asleep on the balcony with an active mind. He didn’t have a peaceful night, his dreams were filled with the arguments he had had with Iwaizumi over the past few months. He woke up at around 2, and sent Iwaizumi a small set of texts, before heading inside, leaving the papers, his phone, and the half empty bottle outside, and traipsing himself to bed. He wouldn’t be going to practice again the following day. He needed to figure out a way to get Iwaizumi back. He needed Iwaizumi back.

***

Iwaizumi looked at his phone as he shoved his uniform into his gym bag. As expected, he had almost 600 texts, and over 100 missed calls. He also had a notification that his voicemail box was full. They were all Oikawa. And they all basically said the same thing:  _ ‘I’m sorry’ _ ,  _ ‘I love you’ _ ,  _ ‘Please talk to me’ _ . He wanted to talk to him - of course he did - but it would have been 6am there now, and Oikawa would be asleep for another hour, then he would be at training until 12, so Iwaizumi would hold back until 1. As angry as he was, he didn’t want to mess up the guys routine, that would just be cruel. He had dinner plans with Matsukawa and Hanamaki tonight anyway, so it was a way to distract himself from it all for a short while.

He headed home, showered quickly, then got himself into a nice shirt - one that Oikawa had bought for him a few years ago that he had no idea how it still fit - and set out to meet the pair at a nice steakhouse that they had all discovered during their first month in Sendai. It was a nice place to go even if the atmosphere did linger with the memory of Oikawa. He had to get used to the fact that he would never be fully rid of the guy, as the memories would still loom over him, but he knew he should at least start to try and get past it all.

“I can’t believe you actually went through with it.” Hanamaki commented when Iwaizumi confirmed that he had sent the papers earlier that week. He didn’t understand why it was such a surprise, he was obviously unhappy, and they both knew he had been drawing up the papers for a few weeks now.

Iwaizumi looked down at the wedding band that was still placed on his finger, and spun it around, playing with it. “You know,” He started, “Oikawa doesn’t wear his ring over there.” The pair sat across from him looked at him, shocked. Oikawa had always seemed to be excited about getting married, so it was a surprise that he’d want to hide it at all. “He’s never specifically told me that he doesn’t, but he doesn’t have a tan line where the ring would be. And it’s too sunny there for him not to have the line. And his ring still looks almost new; like it spends most of its time sat in the box.” He paused, and Matsukawa and Hanamaki looked at each other, almost as if they were having a telepathic conversation with each other. Iwaizumi pulled the ring off his finger and lifted his hand up. “I wear mine all the time. Look at how pale that part of my skin is. Oikawa’s finger looks like a ring has never even graced its surface.” He was clearly getting upset as he went silent and slipped the band back onto his finger, sighing as he looked up. “Sorry. I guess I’m just a bit of a bummer now.” He chuckled nervously, and his friends smiled at him sympathetically, wanting to comfort him, but not wanting him to feel pitied. Matsukawa opened his mouth to talk, before stopping himself. Now wasn’t the time to add anything to his plate. Iwaizumi had obviously picked up on this - he wasn’t dumb or oblivious in the slightest. “Out with it.” He insisted.

The two opposite him glanced at each other, half considering making something up, but deciding on the truth instead. “Actually,” Matsukawa started, “we do have some news…” He paused, and Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows expectantly - as if he knew what was coming. “We invited you here tonight because…” he hesitated, and Hanamaki grabbed his hand and smiled at him. “We’re engaged.” He announced, and to his surprise, Iwaizumi’s face lit up.

“That’s amazing guys!” He said, his smile genuine. “It’s about time too. What’s it been? Twelve years now?”

Hanamaki nodded. “Yeah. We wanted you to be the first to know because Issei has a little question for you.”

The two of them glanced at Matsukawa, and he chuckled nervously. “Do you wanna be my best man?”

A cat like grin appeared on Iwaizumi's face, “Awwwwhhh, was somebody nervous?” He teased, and Matsukawa kicked his leg underneath the table, making him laugh. “I would love to be your best man.” There was a small, comfortable silence after he had agreed, and as Iwaizumi thought more, his face slowly turned from content happiness, to slightly concerned, and he looked up at Hanamaki. “I assume that since Matsukawa just asked me, you’ll be asking Tooru?” He tried not to sound too emotional about the idea of it, and Hanamaki smiled softly at him.

“I plan on asking him, yeah.” He stated simply, and Iwaizumi nodded in understanding. They were friends with Oikawa too, so it would be wrong of him to expect them not to ask him to be involved. “I’m actually thinking of flying out there to surprise him. Do you know his schedule?” He asked, casually avoiding the fact that Oikawa was probably breaking apart right now too, and likely didn't want visitors.

Iwaizumi sighed lightly. “Yeah. He’s at training 7-12 four days a week, and is off Tuesday to Thursday.” He had committed the schedule to memory now, it had been the same for the past eight years - since Oikawa first moved out there.

Hanamaki nodded, and hummed to himself. He then changed the topic to work, so that Iwaizumi could have his mind taken off Oikawa for at least a little while. He was glad that he had friends like this, one’s that would try and keep his mood light even when he obviously wanted to cry. 

Iwaizumi got home at around 11 - the dinner had gone on longer than he planned, but he wasn’t upset about that, he preferred to waste time at this point as it meant he wouldn’t be left alone with his thoughts. He changed into a pair of dark grey sweatpants, and one of Oikawa’s t-shirts - a baby blue one with a small alien printed on the left chest. It had become a habit to wear Oikawa’s clothes as a comfort when he wasn’t home, and even though he had asked for a divorce, he wasn’t yet ready to break this particular habit. He wished that it hadn’t gone this way. He wished that Oikawa hadn’t forced his hand. He didn’t want his marriage to end, but he was feeling neglected and unloved. He couldn’t take another year of waiting, only to be disappointed again. 

This big house always felt so empty when he was alone. It seemed bigger. Iwaizumi grabbed a bottle of beer out of the fridge and sat himself down at the table on their deck in the back garden. He leant back in one of the uncomfortable chairs his husband had insisted that they get because they “suited the vibe” and he chuckled to himself as he recalled the stupidity of that comment. He sighed as he pulled out his phone and unlocked it, the screen automatically opening to the news site that had reported Oikawa’s signing about a week ago now. He kept coming back to this video - the press conference about the new contract. Oikawa’s smile was fake, and it continued to hurt - seeing him like that. He obviously knew that it was a mistake here, and he probably regretted letting Iwaizumi find out through a press conference, rather than calling him himself. But simply regretting what he had done wasn’t good enough. Iwaizumi hadn’t spoken to him since before the press conference, he sent the papers out in the mail that day, and ignored every attempt at communication Oikawa had made. He had partially hoped that the guy would have shown up outside his door before he even knew about the papers - maybe then Iwaizumi would have forgiven him. But part of him knew that he wasn’t the highest on Oikawa’s list of priorities. Playing volleyball no matter the cost was the top of his list. And he couldn’t let himself be second best anymore. Not when he was this unhappy. 

He pressed play on the video on the small screen in his hands, and rewatched the video he had seen ten times a day since the day it aired. “So, Tooru Oikawa?” The interviewer started, her voice kind, but determined, like a true journalist, “What made you decide to sign with San Juan again this year?”

Oikawa smiled. It was fake. It was so obviously fake. “Isn’t it obvious?” He joked, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Maybe that was the only truth in this entire video.

“What, so no girlfriend, or wife, waiting for you at home?” Tears started to steam down Iwaizumi’s face. He already knew where this was going, but the words Oikawa said next broke his heart all over again each time he watched the video. 

Oikawa laughed, “Of course not. Do you really think _the great Tooru Oikawa_ would ever be tied down?” Iwaizumi knew it was just a facade for the public, but the idea that no one knew that he was even taken, let alone married, hurt. More than he could bear anymore. He knew what he agreed to those five years ago, but he thought by now Oikawa would have at least said publicly that he was in a committed relationship. But it seemed like even that was too much to wish from ‘the great Tooru Oikawa’. Iwaizumi locked his phone, and allowed himself some time to cry. He wanted to get it all out before he called Oikawa, as he didn’t want to show any weakness. 

He threw back four more beers before finally picking up the courage to call Oikawa. He press the dial button, and Oikawa answered almost straight away - quick enough for Iwaizumi to hear a cupboard slam, and Oikawa hush someone. “Iwa-Chan?” The voice at the other end of the line spoke softly. There was clearly someone else there that Oikawa was trying to hide, but he couldn’t seem to care about that right now. Hearing his husband’s voice set something off in Iwaizumi. He missed him. He thought he would be able to live without him, but it was going to be a lot harder than he had expected. His breathing waivered slightly, and he only realised he hadn’t said anything yet when Oikawa spoke up again, “Hajime?” It pulled Iwaizumi back into reality, making him recall why he was calling.

He sighed and started, almost demanding an explanation from him of why he thought it was a good idea to do this  _ again _ , even though he was warned that it would all be over if he had. Oikawa blabbed out a pathetic excuse of an explanation, saying how he wasn’t able to give up his dream yet, and it just made Iwaizumi feel like shit, knowing that he was once again put on hold because Oikawa was obsessed with being number one. It just reinforced the idea that this was the right thing to do.

It was less than a three minute conversation, and somehow he felt worse at the end of it. He put his phone down and exhaled deeply, wiping the tears that had started rolling down his cheeks. “Damnit.” He cursed to himself, trying to pull himself together. He sat and put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, Tooru.” He whispered, fully aware that he had just broken the guy's heart. But his had been breaking for years, and he needed to take care of himself for once. He couldn’t sit around and wait for Oikawa forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter contains smut**

Iwaizumi’s alarm went off at 5:30am; he felt like shit. He hadn’t gotten to sleep until 2, he was slightly hung over, and he was dehydrated due to the amount he had cried. The tear tracks on his face told him that he had continued to cry in his sleep. Usually, he wasn’t much of a crier, and he hadn’t really cried in front of anyone other than Oikawa, but he came close at dinner last night. He had only managed to stop himself because Hanamaki read the situation and changed the topic.

Pushing himself to get out of bed was difficult. He knew he had to work, as he had to pay for this big house somehow - it would be his as soon as Oikawa signed the papers and let him buy his half. He had considered selling it in the divorce, but it wasn’t like it was actually  _ their _ home. Oikawa barely knew his way around the place as he was never here. Iwaizumi traipsed his way into the bathroom, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand, and looking at himself in the mirror in front of him. He was a mess. His hair hadn’t been cut in weeks, and so it was slowly looking how it used to in high school. And he had bags developing under his eyes. He’d been sleeping less and less these past few weeks, and he had a sneaking suspicion that this was due to the guilt he was feeling. He knew that this was for his own wellbeing in the long run, but he was obviously breaking Oikawa’s heart whilst trying to repair his own. He didn’t  _ want  _ to hurt him, but this was the only thing that would truly set them both free - even if it would take some time. 

He reached around the glass barrier and turned the shower on, allowing it to have a few minutes to warm up as he pulled his workwear out of the closet. He was lucky enough that he worked for an agency - it meant that his workwear could be more casual. But he always wore a shirt and dress pants into the clients business, then he’d get changed after greeting the client into shorts and a sports tank top. He was glad he had gone into physiotherapy, it allowed him to help people who were in pain.

After laying his clothes out ready, he stepped into the warm shower. The water pressure here was much better than it had been in Miyagi, and it was something that Iwaizumi appreciated daily. He allowed his mind to wonder that morning, and it landed on Oikawa. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Oikawa was the love of his life. He was kinder, and more thoughtful than he let on. He cared about his friends immensely. He was passionate, loving, and intense. And he smelt like the air before a thunderstorm. Not to mention, he was incredibly attractive. His hair was soft, it wasn’t as long as it used to be, but it still fell the way only Oikawa’s hair could. And his eyes were incredible. They were big and brown, and they seemed to hold the whole universe in them. His smile too - the genuine one - was star striking. The way his lips pouted perfectly. And the cute little freckles that appeared on the small of his back when he had been out in the sun too long.

“Damnit Oikawa.” He muttered to himself, as he closed his eyes and tried to will away the erection that had started to grow as he had pictured his husband. He stared down at it as he washed the shampoo out of his hair, because he could not jack off to the man he was about to divorce. If he did, he would just start to think about him more, and then he would run the risk of forgiving him. And he could not allow that to happen, he would just end up getting hurt again. He stared down at himself for a good five minutes, but he only got harder, until his dick settled at a proud curve towards his stomach.

“Shit.” He cursed to himself. It was clear that his erection was not going anywhere on its own.

Gritting his teeth, he reached down and wrapped his hand around his stiff member, squeezing it once in a lousy attempt to make it wilt, but that just caused a bead of pre-cum to leak from the tip. Iwaizumi groaned before he could stop himself, then bit his bottom lip to keep himself quiet. The house was large, and there were no nearby neighbours that he would bother or disturb with the sound, but he never liked being loud, even when he was with Oikawa.

He moved his hand up and down, passing over the head and rubbing his thumb over the slit before moving his fist back down. He set up a steady pace, leaning against the glass of the shower as his knees started to tremble slightly.  _ Shit.  _ He couldn’t stop his mind from wandering to Oikawa, when he was this turned on, he didn’t have the will power to fight the thoughts. Before long, he was remembering their last time. The last time that Oikawa was naked beneath him, what seemed like miles of pale skin stretched out, his hands tracing down his abs - god he was in good shape. He pictured Oikawa’s big brown eyes looking at him, and he came undone.

He remembered what it felt like to sink into Oikawa’s heat, always slow and gentle at first, but harder and faster the longer it went on, until Oikawa was a writhing and sweating mess beneath him. Iwaizumi moved his hand faster and faster, and he clamped his teeth into his own forearm as he gave one last squeeze at the sensitive area beneath the head. He came in an embarrassingly short amount of time, and the moan that he had muffled sounded suspiciously like “Tooru”. His cum shot in ropes across the glass, and Iwaizumi huffed out a loud gasp, his eyes falling closed as he ran his hand up and down his dick a few more times; milking the last of his orgasm.

He leant against the wall behind him for several moments, catching his breath, and as he came down from the high of it, he was hit with a wave of self-loathing. He was angry at himself for allowing himself to succumb to the memories of Oikawa like that. It meant that Tooru still had a level of control over him that he hated. He shook his head, and sighed at himself, cleaning himself and the shower glass, scrubbing his skin raw, because he was suddenly so frustrated at his body for reacting that way to a mere memory.

He pulled on a clean pair of boxers, and allowed his body to drag it’s way down to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. He never got fully dressed until after he had eaten - he had a habit of spilling food on himself early in the morning, so Oikawa had suggested years ago that he doesn’t get ready until  _ after  _ he finishes breakfast. It was only in the past few days that he had realised how much Oikawa affected his life, even if it was only small things like this. The guy was weaved into all of his internal thoughts, and automatic reflexes, and it would be impossible to remove him completely.

He decided on something small this morning - just an apple and a breakfast bar, so nothing that would be spilt - then went back upstairs to get ready. The shirt was a nice, burgundy button down - it was the one he had worn when he proposed to Oikawa on his 21st birthday. Thinking back to that day still hurt. That was the day he had asked Oikawa to spend the rest of his life with him, and now he was the one to cut that timeframe short. The guilt washed over him. He knew that this was best for him, and Oikawa hadn't exactly done much to convince him otherwise. Part of him still expected Oikawa to show up out of the blue and give some form of long speech about how they should stay together, but he knew that it wouldn’t happen. He didn’t skip practice when Iwaizumi was actually in Argentina, so no way would he skip now. 

It was an uncomfortably warm day, and the commute to work was hard, but he got there on time and in one piece. He greeted his clients for the day, then went to change into his sports gear. The client he had was a big one, the official Japanese Volleyball Association had contacted the agency and requested that he be the Athletic Trainer for the Japanese team, which he quickly agreed to. It would be good money and good publicity if nothing else. And he was excited to see who the members of the official team were, it hadn’t been publicly announced yet so it was interesting. Since Oikawa had renewed his contract, there was a possibility he would play for the official Argentina team. Of course Iwaizumi would be happy for him if he did, but he would still feel hurt. His ring caught his eye, and pulled his attention. If Oikawa ended up happy after all of this, then it would be worth it. Even if they were both heartbroken, maybe getting this would finally make him happy. Then he’d have everything he wanted.

He stood in the changing room, shirtless with his tank top in his hand, completely zoned out staring at his ring. He didn’t hear the door open behind him, or the people filtering in. The only thing that brought him back to where he was, was a familiar voice behind him. “Iwaizumi-san?” His head turned towards the one who was calling him, and he realised that this must be the changing room for the whole team, not just the trainers. There were a few team members that had filtered in, and they were all staring at him.

He smiled at the familiar face and turned to walk towards him to greet him. “Kageyama Tobio.” He stated, almost as a hello. He gripped the now taller ex-opponent in front of him by the shoulder. “How have you been?” He almost forgot he was shirtless, until Kageyama stuttered in response and blushed a little. He quickly realised and pulled on his tank top, then walked out the changing rooms, calling out to the team behind him “I really hope none of you are clumsy. I want an easy ride here.”

As soon as the door behind him closed, Iwaizumi sighed to himself. He had really wished that he didn’t know anyone here, he didn’t want to have to put on a front, but now he had no option. He knew that Kageyama would ask about Oikawa, and he was going to have to lie about their relationship. For Oikawa’s sake, he couldn’t let slip that they were married. Even if they were now getting a divorce. But he couldn’t exactly give up the job now that he’d accepted it - it was too good of a job for no one to question if he handed the account over to someone else. He would just have to deal with knowing someone on the team.

Iwaizumi composed himself quite quickly and headed into the gym. It was just as large as he had imagined it would be. Half of the team was already practicing spikes, so Iwaizumi made his way over to the coach; Hibarida if he remembered correctly. “Good Morning.” He greeted, simply - a respectful smile worn on his face. 

The coach smiled back and reached his hand out for a handshake, which Iwaizumi accepted of course. “Good Morning. You must be Iwaizumi Hajime, the new Athletic Trainer.” 

“That’s me. And you must be Coach Hibarida.” 

“Please,” Hibarida responded, letting go of the handshake and turning to look towards the team’s practice, “Call me Fuki.” He insisted, and Iwaizumi nodded in agreement. He turned to face the same way as the coach, and watched how all the players were playing. “So,” Hibarida started after a few minutes of overlooking the team, “I was told that you were the best athletic trainer in the agency?”

Iwaizumi chuckled slightly. “I’m not sure about that. But I know what I’m doing.” He said, confidently.

Hibarida side-eyed him and smiled to himself, ready to test the newbie who had made his way in here with an overwhelming confidence. “Okay, Iwaizumi, care to show me what you’re made of?” Iwaizumi looked at him, confused. “Just from your few minutes of watching them, can you tell me who’s recovering from a recent injury?”

Iwaizumi smirked at him, and he smirked back. Without looking back at the team, and holding eye contact with Hibarida, he spoke with a well earned confidence. “Number 13 recently suffered from a ligament strain in his right wrist - he’s obviously right handed but he’s practicing spiking left as he can’t hit hard with his right at the moment, and he keeps looking at his right wrist and rotating it to try and regain his mobility I assume.” Hibarida nodded, looking slightly impressed, but Iwaizumi wasn’t done. “Number 19 has a trapped nerve in his right shoulder - it’s stiff and he should be resting it for at least 3 days. Number 4 has a grade 1 hamstring injury, which means he can continue training but should take it easier for a few days. And number 11 has Patellar Tendonitis in his right knee. I had a friend in high school with the same injury, and I helped him through it, so I know all too well how to handle that.” Hibarida was in a bit of shock with how much he noticed from just a few minutes watching them practice, and he nodded his head in approval.

Hibarida then called over the team for an introduction. “Good morning everyone. I hope you all got plenty of rest last night in preparation for today. You’ll be working hard today, and then trainer Iwaizumi here will be helping you intevally with any injuries you may have.” Iwaizumi smiled as the team all looked at him. “Now if you have any questions, this is the time to ask.” 

Iwaizumi allowed his eyes to examine each of the players to see what kind of physical shape they were all in. As expected, they were all in about as good shape as Oikawa. Hibarida asked Iwaizumi if he had anything to add, he did of course. “If you’re in pain, that is your body telling you to stop. Listen to it. You will only cause yourself more injury if you try to push through it. I have watched you practice, and I could see already that four of you are suffering recent injuries. You can come to me when you’re in pain. That is why I’m here.” He paused briefly, deciding whether or not he actually wanted to tell this story. What was the harm though, right? “A close friend of mine almost threw away his entire career because he became obsessed with being the best, and tried to work through the pain. I got to him in time, but he had to take six months off for recovery, and it could have ended far worse. Luckily, he’s back to 100%, and playing volleyball again.” The blonde member in jersey 11 scoffed at the story, and Iwaizumi glared at him, slightly aggravated by the dismissive noise he had just made. “Do you have a problem with something I just said?”

The blonde rolled his eyes. “You expect us to believe that sob story? So cliche.  _ ‘Oh a friend of mine was injured.’  _ Sure.” Before Iwaizumi had the opportunity to respond, a hand struck the back of the guys head. Another face Iwaizumi recognised - Ushijima Wakatoshi.

“Thats enough, Atsumu.” Ushijima insisted, before turning back to Iwaizumi. “You’re talking about Oikawa-san, yes?” He questioned. 

Iwaizumi smiled and nodded. “I am.”

“Wait, wait.” The blonde - Atsumu as Iwaizumi had just discovered - started before anyone could get a word in edgewise. “You don’t mean  _ the  _ Oikawa Tooru, do you? The one that has played setter on the San Juan team in Argentina for the past eight years?” He seemed to suddenly be star struck. 

“The one and only. We were friends from childhood.”

“Were?” Atsumu clarified. 

_ Shit. Lie. Now.  _ “Well, we’re not as close as we used to be. He’s still my friend, but we don’t talk much these days.” Atsumu opened his mouth to respond, but Iwaizumi was done with this conversation. He turned to the coach, “I’m going to head to the exam room, if you could send them to me separately, so I can make sure they’re all in top condition?” Hibarida nodded, and Iwaizumi left the room, heading to the changing rooms first to grab his phone. He needed it on him in case of any emergencies, but he didn’t plan on using it. 

The members were sent in one by one - in numerical order rather than alphabetical - as Iwaizumi had requested. He had planned on just asking most of them a few routine questions, then doing a small physical on the four that clearly had issues - a plan that he didn’t really get to stick to because he knew a few people, and others were chatty.

There wasn’t really an issue of conversation until he reached Kageyama. The former setter for Karasuno entered the room, clearly nervous about seeing him again, although Iwaizumi didn’t fully understand why he would be. He smiled at Kageyama as he entered. “How have you been?” He asked, genuinely curious.

Kageyama relaxed quickly. “I’ve been okay. How are you, Iwaizumi-san?”

Iwaizumi chuckled slightly under his breath. He was doing horribly. His personal life was falling apart. “I’ve been better.” Kageyama knew better than to pry. If Iwaizumi wanted to talk about it, he would. 

“How’s Oikawa?” Iwaizumi’s eyes glanced up from the clipboard he was looking at. “I mean, didn’t you two date for a while there? When did that end?”

“Why do you think it ended?”

“You said outside before that you two don’t talk much anymore, and you’re wearing a wedding ring. I assume you broke up when Oikawa moved, and you settled down, right?” Kageyama was fairly observant, but he wasn’t the smartest. This proved that more than anything else. Someone smart would have realised from that information that a divorce was in progress between the two of them.

Iwaizumi changed the subject. “Do you and Hinata want to catch up at some point? I know a nice steakhouse, but you need to book a week in advance. I can get us a table for next Thursday?”

Kageyama smiled and nodded. “That’d be nice. I’m sure Hinata would like it too.” Kageyama and Hinata had been publicly in a relationship for three years now, and the media had gotten over it quickly - it was things like this that made Iwaizumi wonder why Oikawa thought it would be such a negative if anyone found out about them. The media  _ would  _ get over it. His career wouldn’t end because of it. But it didn’t matter now, anyway. As soon as Oikawa signed those papers, that’d be it. 

Iwaizumi examined the rest of the team, and all of them were in fairly good condition - well enough to not need to worry about them. He knew who to keep an eye on, and who he didn’t have to worry about at all. 

Oikawa had messaged Iwaizumi twice as he finished for the day - he finished fairly early at this job, around 3 - and it was clear he had finally read through the papers properly. 

The texts were simple. It was surprising that he had only sent two - almost as if he had actually listened to Iwaizumi when the guy asked him to stop spamming him. 

_ I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. It makes me sick that I have treated you so badly. _

_ Is this really what you want? _

He didn’t know how to respond to that. Of course he didn’t  _ want  _ his marriage to come to an end. But he couldn’t keep going like this. Maybe if Oikawa’s promises meant anything anymore, it wouldn’t be an issue. But he couldn’t keep holding out for ‘maybe’.

His response was honest.  _ ‘I can’t hold out for the possibility of you anymore. Please sign the papers.’ _ Iwaizumi sighed to himself as he pressed send. He still felt guilty for doing this, but it needed to be done.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, looking at his ring. The pain he was causing his husband was almost unbearable. If Oikawa was here, there would be no way he could have ever gone through with it. It was easier from a distance. But he still loved Oikawa, so the idea of breaking his heart hurt more than anything Tooru ever did to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makki goes to Argentina
> 
> Atsumu finds out about the marriage
> 
> Oikawa is happy
> 
> Iwaizumi is worried

The slam of the front door woke Oikawa. He hadn’t seen anyone since the day after he saw the divorce papers two weeks ago, and none of his teammates had bothered him since then either. He shot up in his bed after registering what the sound was, confused as to who it could be; he was sure he had locked it, and the only other person in the world with a key was Iwaizumi.  _ Iwaizumi?  _

Oikawa never leaped out of his bed faster than he did in that moment, tripping over his own feet as he ran into the hallway. “Iwa-chan?” he called out as he bolted through to the living room. “Iwa-chan?” His voice broke, and he froze as he looked at the back of the head of the one standing on his balcony, overlooking the city, and his hope to see his husband faded as quickly as it arrived. “What are you doing here?” He asked, as the familiar face turned to smile at him.

“Well, good morning to you too.” He frowned, mildly annoyed that Oikawa had been so dismissive with his greeting. “What’s with you?”

Oikawa turned away from him, and switched on the coffee machine. “I thought you were Hajime.” He responded, the disappointment in his voice clear.

“Oh.” His guest responded. “Well I’m not Iwaizumi, but I’ll give you a little kiss if you really want?” He winked.

Oikawa glared at him. “What are you doing here, Makki?” He sounded like he was disappointed to see his old friend - he wasn’t, he just had hoped it was his husband instead. “And how did you get in?” A valid question, as he had never given him a key.

Hanamaki smiled at him, stepping back into the apartment, and taking a seat on the couch in the lounge, awaiting the cup of coffee Oikawa was bringing him. He waited for the latter to take a seat before speaking. “Iwaizumi gave me his key. That's how I got in.” Oikawa nodded; that made sense. “As for why I’m here, I came to ask you something.” Oikawa glanced at him, and tilted his head in curiosity. “Do you wanna be my best man?” The setters jaw dropped. He grinned and put his coffee down, and took Makki’s off of him, putting it down too. He then grabbed Hanamaki’s hands, and looked him in the eyes.

“Of course I will!” His smile was genuine, and he pulled his friend in for a tight hug. “Congratulations.” He meant it, but tears still started to stream down his face as he thought about his own crumbling marriage. Hanamaki pulled back, and looked at Oikawa, concerned.

He placed his hand on Oikawa's cheek. “Are you gonna be okay?” Oikawa sniffed and pulled his face away from the soft touch, wiping his eyes.

He smiled at Makki. “I’m sorry. I really am happy for you, Makki. I just-” he looked at his hands and sniffed again. “I ruined it, didn’t I?”

Makki placed his hand on Oikawa’s back. “Can I ask you something?” Oikawa nodded, still looking down at his hands. “Why don’t you wear your ring? Like, I kinda get why you wouldn’t wear it outside if you’re trying to keep it secret. But even now? You’re home alone. Why aren’t you wearing it?”

Oikawa didn’t even look at Makki as the tears started to stream down his face again. He knew that it was wrong of him to keep it all hidden. People didn’t have to know he was gay, but he could at least have announced that he was married. He thought back to the press conference, and how much it must have broken Iwaizumi’s heart when he said he’d never be tied down. He couldn’t help but wonder what he had thought the moment he heard the words leave Oikawa’s lips - did he think Oikawa was ashamed of him? Or was embarrassed by him? The day before the press conference, everything between them was fine. Then again, Iwaizumi did think Oikawa would be coming home, and he didn’t exactly tell him that he wasn’t. The thing he regretted most was letting Iwaizumi find out that way. Maybe things would have been different if he had.

Makki kept his hand on Oikawa’s back as the latter sobbed quietly. “Makki?” He spoke after a few minutes of feeling sorry for himself.

“Yeah?”

“Do you…” He hesitated, considering if it was a stupid question or not. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”

Hanamaki sighed, and moved his hand from Oikawa’s back to grip his forearm instead. Oikawa looked up at him. “I think you hurt him.” Makki replied honestly, “More than he ever thought you would. And with the person that Iwaizumi is, I don’t think it’s as easy as just an ‘I’m sorry’. It’ll take a lot more than that for him to trust you again.” He was right. Iwaizumi had put up with a lot of shit from Oikawa over the years; he didn’t deserve to be treated like this - not in the slightest. It wasn’t fair to him, and Oikawa knew it. Hanamaki stayed quiet for a few moments, considering what to say next, “You know it was stupid to accept the contract, right?” Oikawa hesitantly nodded. Of course he knew - it was a dumb mistake and it had ruined his life. “So why did you say yes?”

This was a question Oikawa had thought about over and over again, and he honestly didn’t know. Iwaizumi was the most important thing in the world to him, so why on Earth had he risked that? He looked up at his friend that was comforting him, “I want to go home.” He said, simply, and Hanamaki smiled softly at him, before reaching into his bag and pulling out something Oikawa couldn’t quite make out.

He handed the small slip of card to Oikawa. “Then go.” He said simply. The ticket was for Thursday. Two days. Makki had given him two days to decide whether or not to go home. He wanted to go, he really did. But what would happen to his contract if he did? Would it be nullified? Or would it be a breach of contract, causing him to get sued? He needed to speak to the coach before deciding anything.

Makki stood himself up, Oikawa’s eyes followed him. “Anyway, I came here to do what I needed to do.” He patted his high-school friend on the shoulder, and smiled at him. “Come home Oikawa.” He said simply, as Oikawa stared at him, almost in awe, holding the plane ticket in his hands. It was hard to understand why anyone would want to help him like this; he hadn’t exactly been a good friend these past few years, and he was sure that Mattsun and Makki had probably heard about everything he’d done from Iwaizumi, so why they would spend this kind of money - especially when they’re saving for a wedding - was beyond him.

Not long after Hanamaki left, Oikawa sent him a small text.  _ ‘I forgot to say thank you. So thank you.’  _ He read it, but chose not to respond. Oikawa could respect that. He looked at the ticket again, and decided at that moment he would be going home. He didn’t belong here anymore. He wanted to fix his marriage. He wanted to be with Iwaizumi, no matter what.

Oikawa called everyone he needed to that afternoon - his lawyer, his agent, his manager, and the real estate office. He was going back, and he was going back for good.

It was safe to say that the following day was going to be full of meetings. He’d have to explain that he was leaving for personal reasons, and that he wouldn’t be coming back, but he was fine with that, it was worth it if it meant getting Iwa-Chan back.

Oikawa didn’t message Iwaizumi at all that day, and he wasn’t going to the next day either. He was going to completely surprise him on Thursday. He was sure that his husband would want to see him. Even if he hated him right now, surely he wouldn’t turn him away. Going back to Japan was the first thing that was making him happy since the last time Iwaizumi visited - around two months ago. He couldn’t wait to get back there. All he wanted was to be back in Japan. With Iwaizumi.

The next morning was horrendous. He had a meeting with his lawyer and his agent at 9am, where he explained to them that there had been a private personal crisis, and he would have to go back to Japan this season; unable to guarantee that he’d be back next season. They were both disappointed in what he had to say, but because the first match hadn’t been played yet, and he had yet to cash the cheque, he could still back out of the deal if he needed to - which he insisted he did. He wouldn’t be going back on it now he had decided. Plus, Makki would expect him to now. 

Oikawa had to sign multiple contracts agreeing that he wouldn’t let it slip he was no longer in the lineup until after the first game occurred the following month, as this would affect the teams value massively - he was the number one setter in Argentina, and fewer people would come to the first match if they knew Oikawa wouldn’t be there. He didn’t understand them lying to the supporters, surely there would be an uproar of fans when they found out they’d been lied to. But he didn’t question any of it - he just wanted to agree to anything to get home sooner.

After signing all the contracts required of him, Oikawa went to see his coach. He thanked him for all the years of consistent training, and useful advice. He was very understanding of what Oikawa was saying to him, and when the setter had finished talking, his coach gripped him by the shoulders. “Everything you just said to me was complete bullshit.” Oikawa opened his mouth to interrupt, but his couch didn’t let him, “But whoever she is, don’t let her go.” Oikawa smiled softly. He meant well by what he just said, and he was partially right, Oikawa was going back to Japan for the love of his life. And he planned on never letting him go again.

* * *

Iwaizumi’s morning was the same as always. His route to the gym was the same as it had been every day for the past week. His welcome from the front desk was the same as always. And the team was as friendly as they had been since day one. And still, everything felt askew. This was the first day in over a week that he hadn’t woken up to a text from Oikawa. He had ignored them all so far anyway, but that hadn’t stopped Oikawa before now, so he felt a little queasy - he still worried about his husband. 

“Good morning, beautiful.” Iwaizumi was stopped the moment he entered the gym. Everyone was already working on serving practice - well almost everyone. 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at the greeting that had just welcomed him. “Miya, how many times do I have to tell you that I am married and that’s inappropriate?” Atsumu laughed at the rejection and joined the other team members in their serving drills. Iwaizumi had to admit to himself that, even though he wasn’t interested in dating anyone else yet, that kind of flirty attention was something he missed for his and Oikawa’s early days. He couldn’t quite remember when Oikawa had stopped being like that with him. His personality didn’t change, it just seemed to be a case of he became uninterested in flirting with Iwaizumi anymore. Like he was too focused on volleyball to even care. He still flirted with their friends - as he had always done - and he still insisted on being held by Iwaizumi after sex, but he never seemed to put in the effort with him anymore. It was only since Iwaizumi had started drawing up the papers that he realised how poorly Oikawa had started treating him, and how distant his husband had become these past few years.

Iwaizumi shook off the thoughts. He needed to stop thinking about Oikawa - about the fact that he didn’t message at all overnight. It was messing with his mental state, and it wasn’t good for him. He needed to get his mind off it. He looked around the gym, watching the team practice, and he realised there was a reason all of these people had made it this far. Their form was impeccable, and their serves were accurate and powerful. They were all incredibly skilled and talented. Iwaizumi could never hope to be as good as all of these people - not that he wanted to anymore - but there was still a shock of how he knew three people on the team from his teenage years. 

“Iwaizumi-san!” An energetic voice called from behind him. Iwaizumi turned and smiled at the small bundle of energy bounding towards him. “Are we still on for tomorrow? Me, you, and Kageyama?”

“Yeah. I booked a table for four, so if there’s anyone else you want to invite-”

Before he could finish his sentence, an arm flung itself around his shoulder and he was interrupted. “Dinner tomorrow? I’m in!” Atsumu grinned at Iwaizumi, who just rolled his eyes. He didn’t even get the opportunity to turn him down before Hinata jumped at the idea and gave Atsumu all the details, before running off to join the team in a practice match.

Iwaizumi pushed Atsumu’s arm off his shoulder and turned to glare at him. “What are you playing at? I told you, I’m married.”

“But you’re getting divorced, right?”

The response confused Iwaizumi. He couldn’t process how he could have possibly figured that out. He hadn’t told anyone. “How did you-?” Atsumu’s eyes widened as if he was surprised, which made Iwaizumi realise that he had been joking, and hadn’t actually figured it out - until he said that, at least.

Atsumu placed his hand on the shorter mans shoulder, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Just stop.” Iwaizumi insisted, pulling himself from the grip, then walking away. He was done talking about it, and he especially didn’t want to discuss it with someone who barely knew him. He headed over to the side of the court, keeping his eye on the players that had drawn his attention last week - as he had recently learnt, it was Sakusa with the wrist injury, Bokuto with the hamstring injury, and Komori with the shoulder injury. And of course it was Atsumu that had the same injury as Oikawa. So much of the guy reminded him of how his husband used to be, and it scared him. The guy was obviously attracted to him, and he’s someone that Iwaizumi would happily get to know under normal circumstances, but he was just too similar to Oikawa, and Iwaizumi was worried that something would happen if he let his guard around the guy. He didn’t want that. Even if his marriage was over, it would feel like a betrayal if he ended up doing anything with someone  _ that _ similar to Oikawa.

Training finished at 3, as usual, and Iwaizumi got out of there as quickly as he could. He had been on the edge - close to crying - since Atsumu mentioned the divorce, and he just needed to get away. The tears started streaming down his cheeks the moment he closed his car door. He leant his head against the edge of his steering wheel, and let himself cry silently. It had been such a hard week for him and, if he was being honest, all he really wanted now was Oikawa to hold him and tell him that it was all going to be okay. It reminded him of their first year being married, when his mother had died in a car accident and the only person he was able to cry to was Oikawa; the rest of his family just expected him to be the strong one - the one that supported everyone else. He missed the comfort that he had with him. He wanted to feel that way again.

His wallowing was interrupted by a light knocking on the passenger side window that almost made him jump out of his skin. He snapped his head over but instantly turned his face away to wipe the tears when he saw the persistent blonde standing outside, smiling softly at him. He rolled down his window and glared at him. “What do you want?” He snapped. He was starting to lose his patience with this guy at this point - which wasn’t really fair to him, as he hadn't actually done anything wrong, he just hit a nerve with Iwaizumi.

Atsumu put his hands up in innocent defense, “Sorry, I’m just wondering if you’re heading towards the mountains and if I could get a ride?” Iwaizumi stared at him in silence, so he continued. “I usually travel with Sakusa, but I apparently took too long so he left without me.”

Iwaizumi sighed and looked ahead of him. “Get in.” He responded. He really didn’t want to give the guy a ride, but he would have felt guilty just leaving him here. Atsumu smiled again and got in. “Where to?” Iwaizumi asked, trying to keep any contact with him as limited as possible.

Atsumu gave him the address, and Iwaizumi started driving in silence. “Are you okay?” Atsumu asked after almost ten minutes of silence, and Iwaizumi seemed to flinch at the question, as if the idea of being open with someone triggered some form of PTSD. He glanced over at the tall setter in the passenger seat, then looked back towards the road. Atsumu was staring at him, waiting for a response of some form.

“How is how I’m doing any of your business?” Iwaizumi asked, still uncomfortable around the familiar feeling he got from the man next to him.

“I mean, it’s not really.” Miya admitted, “But you’re in the middle of a divorce, and you were just crying in your car.”

Iwaizumi pulled the car over seemingly out of nowhere, and turned himself to look at Atsumu. “You are not to tell anyone  _ any  _ of that. Do you understand?” His tone had become sharp and viscous, he was serious, and the one he was talking to could tell.

“I won’t.” The setter confirmed, and Iwaizumi sighed in relief, and faced the road once again, pulling back out into the traffic. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Iwaizumi scowled sidewards at him, and Miya defended himself as quickly as he could. “I just mean because I already know. You don’t have to, it’s just an option.” Iwaizumi stayed silent, and Atsumu turned to look out the window as he realised that the former likely wouldn’t respond. 

After an exasperated sigh, Hajime started speaking. “I don’t open up to people.” He said definitively. “But since you already know, I may as well tell you. None of this leaves this car, okay?” Atsumu nodded. He knew if he spoke to anyone else about it, Iwaizumi would never trust him again. “My husband… he’s away a lot. I rarely see him anymore. But he promised me that this year, he’d come home - a promise that he’s made every year for the last five. Long story short, he’s not coming home this year. And I am done waiting around for him, it’s not fair to me. I don’t deserve much, but I deserve better than that; at least, I think I do.” He paused briefly and sighed to himself, then glanced over at Atsumu who was just sitting there, quietly, taking in what Iwaizumi had to say. “I keep going back and forth with it in my mind - wondering if I made a mistake. He is the love of my life, should I really give up on us this easily?” Atsumu said nothing, and Iwaizumi side eyed him to see if he had maybe made a mistake by sharing all this. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Miya requested, suddenly.

“Sure. It’s not like I’m hiding much anymore.”

“This husband of yours - is it Oikawa?” Iwaizumi’s eyes widened. He couldn’t understand how Atsumu figured it out.

“What gave it away?”

“Well, when you mentioned him last week, you had a proud look on your face and then looked unreasonably sad. I didn’t think much of it then, but it makes sense now. Also, you said he’s away a lot, Oikawa plays for Argentina so he would be away a lot, and he just signed a new contract so he wouldn’t be coming home this year either. And there’s a picture of you two on your dash, and you're both in tux’s, your arm is around his waist and his is around your shoulder. You’re smiling pretty wide too. And you look about five years younger. Is that a photo from your wedding?” Iwaizumi smiled subtly at the memory of it, then shook off the memory, and his face turned back to a frown - something Atsumu picked up on, “Sorry…” He said, softly, realising that he had probably hit a nerve.

“It’s okay.” Iwaizumi insisted, “Yeah, that’s from the wedding.” He confirmed. 

The rest of the drive was silent. Atsumu was afraid to bring anything else up in case he was causing unpleasant memories for Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi was comforted by the quiet. He pulled up outside Atsumu’s house and the setter turned to him. “I don’t have to come to dinner tomorrow if it’d make you uncomfortable.” He suggested, hoping that he wouldn’t be taken up on that offer.

Iwaizumi chuckled to himself. “You know, you’re a lot like him.” Miya tilted his head in confusion. “Oikawa.” Iwaizumi clarified. He didn’t quite know how to respond to that. It wasn’t an insult, but the timing made it seem like it wasn’t a compliment either. “I’m fine with you coming tomorrow.” He confirmed. “Now get out of my car so I can go home.” Atsumu obliged, thanked Iwaizumi, then watched him drive off up the road. 

Hajime checked his phone again once he got home. Still nothing from Oikawa. He was starting to worry now, Oikawa had never gone this long without texting him before, so he couldn’t help but worry something had happened to him. He didn’t want to talk to him, but he decided he would text him at about 9 if he still hadn’t heard from him.

The evening went by slowly - probably because he was nervous about Oikawa’s safety - but it hit 9 eventually, and there was still nothing from him. Iwaizumi toyed with what to say for a while. He didn’t want to seem overly concerned, but he wanted a response that only Oikawa could give.

He finally decided on simply  _ ‘As much as I’m mad at you, it worries me that you haven’t messaged me today. Are you alright?’  _ He then went to get ready for bed, fully aware that he wouldn’t sleep before Oikawa got back to him. But he didn’t. The night passed, and the next morning arrived with still no response from Oikawa.

He knew that he was probably fine. But he couldn’t settle the feeling in his stomach that something was wrong. He needed to go and see Makki. Makki went for a day trip to Argentina on Tuesday, so he just needed the confirmation that he was fine. Once he had that confirmation, he could relax. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Whatever it is you want to say, just say it.” Iwaizumi insisted, and Atsumu obliged.
> 
> “It’s just… that sounds like it was a very uneven relationship. Like ‘it’s Oikawa’s way, or not at all’, which isn’t balanced at all.”
> 
> “Your point being?”
> 
> “Why did you put up with it for so long?”
> 
> Iwaizumi laughed at the question as if it was the dumbest thing he had ever been asked. “Isn’t it obvious?” He questioned, and Atsumu shrugged. “I’m in love with him.”

Iwaizumi paced up and down the hallway from 4am. It was insane that it had been seven hours and Tooru still hadn’t gotten back to him. Oikawa never did this. Even when he was mad, the asshole would still text him back. So why the radio silence now? He couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad had happened, and he briefly considered going to Argentina - which he decided he would do if Oikawa hadn’t been in touch with Hanamaki or Matsukawa in the last 24 hours. He felt ridiculous even considering that, it was probably a ploy by Oikawa to get him to go there or something. But on the off chance that it wasn’t, and that he wasn’t okay, Iwaizumi had to be sure. He didn’t want his relationship with Oikawa to go from speaking daily, to worrying any point he didn’t. He wasn’t really sure what he wanted anymore. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted a divorce. He had been so certain of it when he sent the papers almost three weeks ago now, but he had thought about what it would actually be like removing Oikawa from his life completely, and he didn't want that. He was still hurting, and he wasn’t ready to forgive him, but he didn’t want him gone. 

It felt like eons before it hit 7am. He had sent Hanamaki a text earlier, asking him to call him as soon as he could, and sure enough, Iwaizumi’s phone rang at 7:02. “Hanamaki.” Iwaizumi sounded panicked. He needed to calm himself, it was probably fine, and he shouldn’t worry anyone like this.

Makki responded to the panic “Iwaizumi? Is everything okay?” 

“I-” He hesitated. “Yeah. Probably. It’s probably all fine. Just-” He suddenly felt ridiculous, and like he was overreacting, so he stopped himself and stayed silent for just a minute, prompting Makki’s concern further.   
“Just what?” He pressed.

Iwaizumi sighed, almost embarrassed to be asking now, “Have you heard from Tooru since you saw him on Tuesday?”

“I spoke to him last night after I got back, why?” Makki confirmed.

That didn’t sit right with Iwaizumi. He couldn’t understand why Oikawa would actively ignore him like that. But knowing he was okay was a relief. “Oh.” He responded simply. “He never got back to me.” There was a small silence, and Iwaizumi could feel the sympathetic look that Makki was making through the phone, and he suddenly felt a wave of anger wash over him. “Fine. Whatever. If he doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. I’m done with his shit. Thanks Makki.” He then hung up before his friend had the chance to respond. He was pissed off, and it wouldn’t be fair to take that out on Hanamaki, who hadn’t done anything wrong - he’d just passed on the message.

Iwaizumi knew he had a dinner coming up tonight, and he knew Atsumu would be there. It wasn’t fair to think about using the guy just to get back at Oikawa, but he would be lying if he said the thought of it hadn’t crossed his mind in that moment. He didn’t really  _ need  _ to do anything that morning, but he couldn’t be alone with his thoughts right now so he decided to distract himself by going to the gym. 

It was practically empty that morning. Today was one of the team's rest days, so it made sense that it seemed like a ghost town. He made his way to the empty weights room, and did his usual push workout:- bench, squat, and military press. It felt strange being in such a quiet weights room. He’d been at this job just shy of two weeks now, and he had never seen the gym like this.

He needed to get Oikawa out of his head. It wouldn’t be fair to Kageyama, Hinata, and Atsumu if he ignored them in favour of thinking about his soon-to-be ex-husband all night. He didn’t want to give any more of his time. He deserved more than to be left waiting. He knew that. But still all of his thoughts were about Oikawa. He couldn’t just forget about him. Not after a lifetime of memories. Every moment he remembered from before the age of 20, Oikawa was there. He didn’t even fully understand who he was separate from the guy. Of course he had his own personality, but how he acted seemed to be derived from how his husband acted. It was strange to think about erasing a part of who he was.

Iwaizumi spent the rest of the day thinking about who he was outside of Oikawa, and eventually the evening rolled around. He got himself into a nice suit and stood silently staring at himself in the mirror as he blindly fixed his cufflinks. He didn’t want to go to this dinner anymore, but he couldn’t back out now. It was his idea in the first place. But he knew that Kageyama and Hinata would ask about Tooru, and his only possibility at a saving grace was Atsumu. It felt strange to admit that.

As his mind wondered, Iwaizumi looked down at the ring on his finger, and all he could think about was the fact that Oikawa didn’t wear his. His marriage was over so it didn’t matter now, but Iwaizumi was still wearing it. It didn’t matter that he was the one to initiate the divorce, that he was the one who sent the papers, he had never wanted to take it off. But if Oikawa wouldn’t wear it during their marriage, why should Iwaizumi wear it now? He pulled the ring off his finger, exposing a pale band of skin, and put the ring in its box, leaving it on his bedside table as he left the room. This was a step forward. This was how he would move on.

Atsumu called Iwaizumi as he was picking up his things to set off. It was a little strange as the two hadn’t ever talked on the phone before, but he probably needed directions to the Steakhouse - he was relatively new to the area, so it would make sense.

“Hey, what’s up?” Iwaizumi answered casually.

“Hey, are you ready?” He was clearly on loudspeaker, so Atsumu was likely driving.

Iwaizumi smiled slightly to himself at the thought of Atsumu being lost. “Yeah. I’m just about to leave. Do you need directions?” He heard a car pull to a stop outside his house as he asked that.

“Nope,” Atsumu insisted. “But I’m outside. I’ll give you a ride. It’s better for the environment.”

That was an obviously bullshit reason for him to pick him up, but it made Iwaizumi happy to hear him say it. “Alight I’ll be out in a sec.” He then hung up the phone and exhaled deeply. For some reason the idea of going in the same car as Atsumu made him nervous. It was probably because it meant he had no escape route if he wanted to leave early.

Alas, he sucked it up, grabbed his jacket and left, locking the door behind him. He would quite often leave it open for Oikawa, but he was past that now. It was time to face the fact that he wasn’t coming home, and that this was another step towards moving on.

Iwaizumi got into the car and sat quietly with his hands folded in his lap. “What’s with you tonight?” Atsumu asked after a few minutes of silence. Iwaizumi looked over at him, and the setter still had his eyes on the road, meaning he probably noticed the moment Iwaizumi got in.

The shorter of the pair sighed. “I took my ring off.” Atsumu glanced over at him, before looking back at the road. “And I locked the door.” The setter stayed silent, in hopes that Iwaizumi would take that as a hint and elaborate. “I think I’ve finally given up hope on ever being with Oikawa again.” He rubbed his eyes with his right hand, and his fingers met at the bridge of his nose as he kept his eyes closed and sighed. “And just the thought of that hurts like hell.”

Atsumu hummed in an understanding manner. “Out of curiosity, what did you think was going to happen here when you sent those papers?”

Iwaizumi chuckled to himself, as if he knew what he was about to say was ridiculous. “Honestly? Part of me thought he would come home. To at least try and make it work.” He sighed again. “And I feel so stupid for even thinking he ever would.”

“Why do you feel stupid for that?”

“Oikawa hasn’t missed a team practice since he damaged his knee and I forced him to take time off. And now he’s finally somewhere that wants him to play  _ every season _ . Volleyball has always been his number one priority. I don’t know why I thought this would change anything.” Atsumu opened his mouth to respond, but stopped himself, thinking that it would be too personal. “Whatever it is you want to say, just say it.” Iwaizumi insisted, and Atsumu obliged.

“It’s just… that sounds like it was a very uneven relationship. Like ‘it’s Oikawa’s way, or not at all’, which isn’t balanced at all.”

“Your point being?”

“Why did you put up with it for so long?”

Iwaizumi laughed at the question as if it was the dumbest thing he had ever been asked. “Isn’t it obvious?” He questioned, and Atsumu shrugged. “I’m in love with him.” He stated simply.

The two sat in a content silence for the remainder of the journey, and arrived at the restaurant before Kageyama and Hinata. The table was ready by the time they arrived, so the two of them ordered drinks as they waited for the remaining pair - who ended up being around half an hour late.

The dinner was pleasant. As expected, Hinata and Kageyama did ask a lot of questions about Oikawa, but Iwaizumi kept a cool head about it and answered them nonchalantly. Atsumu occasionally would nudge Iwaizumi’s leg with his to let the guy know that he was there. It was comforting, but it was also something Oikawa used to do. The similarities between the pair kept showing themselves, and it freaked Iwaizumi out a little. At the same time, though, it was nice to have that type of presence around, even if Oikawa wasn’t.

It was over quickly, and Iwaizumi felt a sense of relief as the bill arrived at the table. “I’ll get this.” He insisted, just wanting this to all be over as quickly as possible. After a night like this, a night of letting go, all he wanted was to curl into bed. Had he driven himself, he would have come up with an excuse an hour ago to leave. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy their company, he did. The issue was that it felt like Atsumu was the perfect filler for Oikawa. Like he would easily slide into the spot that had been left empty in Iwaizumi’s heart, and that was the last thing that he wanted to happen. It wouldn’t be fair to Atsumu. And it wouldn’t be fair to Oikawa. As badly as he had been hurt, he didn’t want Oikawa to feel replaceable. Because he wasn’t. Nothing and noone would be able to rewrite the memories that they had created together over the past 27 years. But if anyone would be able to fill the spot meant for Oikawa, it would be someone this similar to him.

Iwaizumi didn’t talk the entire ride home, he just listened to Atsumu ramble on as he wondered to himself if it would really be a bad thing to let him in. Not right away, of course, but somewhere down the line, maybe Atsumu would fit into his life in more than just a professional way. It wouldn’t hurt to just be friends with him.

As they pulled up outside of Iwaizumi’s home, the two looked at eachother, locking eyes and staring in an intense silence. Atsumu’s eyes briefly flicked down to Iwaizumi’s lips and involuntarily licked his own. “You can leave if this is overstepping a boundary, but…” He started before being interrupted by the husky voiced athletic trainer in the passenger seat.

“Shut up, and just do it.” As soon as he said that, without a moment's hesitation, Atsumu’s lips were over his; Iwaizumi’s hands naturally made their way to the front of the taller boy’s shirt, tugging him closer, and sinking deeper into the kiss. Atsumu made a soft noise, almost a groan, and Iwaizumi took that as permission to push his tongue into the setter’s mouth. Atsumu moaned when Iwaizumi pressed against him, chin angling so that they slotted together more fully. Something was ignited under Iwaizumi in this moment, he could feel it:- a sudden, devouring need to be closer. Then the sudden guilt set in and he pulled back. He snapped his head away from Atsumu, and looked down, straightening his shirt. The blond sitting next to him continued to look at him with a soft confusion on his face. “I’m sorry.” Iwaizumi said softly. “I’m still married. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Atsumu raised his eyebrows in the realisation that he may have just taken advantage of Iwaizumi’s emotional vulnerability. He put both his hands on the wheel and looked at the road ahead of him. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I know what you’re going through right now, so I shouldn’t have even asked.”

Iwaizumi chuckled a little as he opened the door. “I’ll see you at work on Saturday. Goodnight Miya.”

Atsumu smiled. “Goodnight Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi closed the car door and watched Atsumu drive off. He smiled to himself as he turned and walked up the path to the front door. “That wasn’t too bad of a night.” He mumbled to himself as he pulled his house keys out of his pockets.

“Since when do you remember to lock the door?” A familiar voice asked from the bench at the end of the porch, and Iwaizumi’s head snapped towards the sound. “I thought you always left it open in case I forgot my key. Which I did, by the way.”

A tear streamed down Iwaizumi’s face as he moved towards the taller boy that was now standing by the living room window. He reached out his hand and placed it on the setters chest, making sure to himself that this was real. “You’re here?” He asked, softly staring into the others eyes.

“I’m here, Iwa-chan.” He responded, placing his hands over Iwaizumi’s, confirming that this was in fact real, and not a dream.

“Tooru, I-” Iwaizumi’s head landed on his husband's chest, their hands still unmoved. “What took you so long?” He asked, sincerely.

Oikawa let go of Iwaizumi’s hand and wrapped his arms around him tightly; nuzzling his face into Iwa’s soft hair, and inhaling deeply. The shorter wrapped his arms back around his husband, and held on for dear life. He didn’t want this to be a dream, and if it was he didn’t want to ever wake up. “I’m sorry, Iwa-chan. I should have been here sooner. I shouldn’t have signed on for another year.”

Oikawa could feel the shoulder of his t-shirt - where Iwaizumi’s head was resting - starting to get slightly damp, and tears started falling from his face too. “I’ve not forgiven you.” Iwaizumi stated, bluntly, still holding on. “I’ve just missed you.” Oikawa stayed silent. He knew Iwaizumi would need some time. But this was a start. This was a new beginning. 

The two of them stood on the porch in this long awaited embrace for what felt like hours, until Iwaizumi eventually pulled back, wiping his eyes with his jacket sleeves. “Are you here long?” He questioned, looking Oikawa directly in the eyes.

“That depends.” The setter responded.

“On what?” Iwaizumi asked, curious about what the determining factor was. He knew that it was likely if he still wanted to proceed with the divorce, but he wanted clarification.

Oikawa’s lip curled up, but a sadness settled in his eyes. “Was that kiss anything serious?” Iwaizumi’s eyes widened as he suddenly remembered what had just happened.

“I-” Iwaizumi started before stopping himself, and sighed. “Do you want to come in?” He gestured to the door, turning back to it to unlock it. “We can talk about this. About us.”

Oikawa followed the shorter man into the home that was once theirs, that now seemed to be void of any sign Oikawa had ever been there. That hurt, but he knew he deserved that. He had been so dismissive of Iwaizumi’s feelings these past few years, that he didn’t deserve any more chances, so if he got one, he sure as hell wouldn’t waste it. 

“It’s late.” Iwaizumi stated, as he walked through the house to the kitchen. “Everything is still where it was. If you haven’t eaten, help yourself. Then you can stay in the guest room tonight, and we can talk tomorrow. About everything.” Oikawa nodded as Iwaizumi handed him a spare key to the house, then walked past him, turning back before leaving the room. “I have missed you, Tooru. And I am glad to see you. But I hate you right now, it’ll take a lot to change that. So if you’re serious about wanting this to work, then prove it.” Oikawa stayed silent as Iwaizumi disappeared up to the bedroom that used to belong to both of them. He glanced around the room, and as Iwaizumi had said, everything was in the same place it had been this time the previous year when he was last here.

Oikawa knew he was going to have to prove himself to his husband. And he planned to do that. He pulled out his laptop from his backpack and seated himself at the kitchen table. The first thing he had to do was find out who the guy he had just seen Iwaizumi kiss was. Then he would work back from there to find out what got him to that point. He was determined to get him back - he hadn’t fully lost him yet, so it was still possible. He would prove himself worthy of Iwaizumi’s love. Even if he hadn’t been for the past five years. He would be now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost domestic IwaOi
> 
> Nice breakfast, light conversation, and a lovers spat

_ Miya Atsumu.  _ After a surprisingly short amount of Facebook searching, Oikawa had found who it was that had pounced on his husband in the front seat of a shitty Toyota Prius, that looked and sounded like it hadn’t been serviced since it was bought back in 2014. He had quickly found a photo that Kageyama put up about three hours ago of him, Hinata, Iwaizumi, and this asshole. The guy who thought it would be acceptable to take advantage of a married man. It pissed Oikawa off to an extent that he couldn’t even express. But he couldn’t bring himself to be mad at Iwaizumi, he was vulnerable, and obviously upset, so he probably just let it happen - and it was Iwaizumi that stopped the kiss anyway, so he obviously knew it shouldn’t have happened.

Oikawa sat there at the kitchen table, scrolling through Miya’s facebook page, trying to find out as much about him as he could in a short amount of time. He didn’t want to stay up too late, Iwaizumi might get suspicious if he didn’t hear Oikawa go to bed soon, and the last thing he wanted was to get caught snooping.

He found that he was 26, that he played setter for the MSBY Black Jackals, and he seemed to travel a lot. There wasn’t really much about his personality, but from what he could gather, it seemed like he was a complete opposite to Iwaizumi. He seemed rather extraverted, and he could see from the comments on the guys posts that his team seemed to tease him a lot, and he seemed like a bit of a whiny type. Oikawa thought about how awful it would be to be this guy's friend. And then it hit him. This guy was surprisingly similar to him. Why did he have to be similar to him? That was even more aggravating. Is that why Iwaizumi let him kiss him? 

Oikawa dragged himself to the guest room as he thought about all the things that he saw that reminded him of himself. He found it hard to believe that there was another person in Japan that was so close in personality to him, let alone someone who lived in the same town as him and his husband. He needed to talk to Iwaizumi about it. If it wasn’t so late, he would go into their room now and start talking through everything. But Hajime seemed set on talking tomorrow, not tonight, and he didn’t really want to give him any reason to be more annoyed by him. He hovered outside the door, briefly considering going in, but decided against it, and headed to the guest room for what he knew would be a sleepless night.

He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, for what felt like hours before he finally drifting off into a dreamless sleep. Oikawa felt empty. He felt betrayed, but he also felt like he deserved to see that after the way he had treated Iwaizumi all this time. He deserved a little bit of pain. 

***

Iwaizumi lay in the fetal position, watching the shadow that was hovering under his door, praying that Oikawa would let himself in. Part of him didn’t want to speak to him just now, but another part of him was desperate for the physical intimacy he had been lacking in the past few months. He wanted to be with Oikawa again. Of course he did. But he hated him right now. He despised him. But he showed up. 3 weeks late, but he still showed up. 

As the shadow disappeared in the direction of the guest room, Iwaizumi rolled onto his back and sighed. He didn’t know what to do. Had Oikawa really changed? Was he back, or was he just here for a few days? And if he was back, did that mean he ended his contract? He had to consider if he really wanted a divorce, or if he was going to forgive Oikawa. He had always thought it would be nearly impossible to go through with it if he was here, and now that was seeming more true than ever. How could he look at the man that he had spent his entire life with, that he loved with all of his heart, and tell him that he wanted it to be over? Especially if he didn’t really want it to end.

He knew he wouldn’t sleep tonight, so he lay there, just thinking. Thinking about Oikawa; about what he wanted to do. He realised how messed up it was that Oikawa probably expected things to just slowly fall back to normal, and probably wouldn’t do anything different at all, and that pissed him off. How dare he show up out of the blue after ignoring Iwaizumi completely the previous day and making him worry. After causing him this much pain, sending him texts over the past few weeks that swayed his mind and made him question everything. All the things that Oikawa ever did were selfish, and he couldn’t think of a single thing his husband had ever done that wasn’t in pursuit of what  _ he  _ wanted. He couldn’t have him here in this big house. Not when he wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay married or not. The temptation to forgive and move on would be too much, and he sure as hell didn’t want to let Oikawa off the hook, even if he did end up forgiving him. Iwaizumi wanted things to be on  _ his  _ terms for once, so Oikawa would have to move out - at least for the time being.

Morning came around quicker than expected, and Iwaizumi awoke to the smell of pancakes. He inhaled deeply, and smiled softly at the scent, briefly forgetting what had happened when he got home the previous night. He shot up when he realised what was happening, Oikawa - the guy who could barely cook eggs without them burning - was attempting to make pancakes for breakfast. Iwaizumi fell over himself, launching out of bed in order to get to the kitchen as quickly as he could to make sure his husband wasn’t setting fire to anything, and as he turned into the room at the back of the house, he was met with Oikawa standing over the stove, cooking perfectly. Oikawa turned his head and smiled at his bed-haired husband, who had a look of confusion on his face.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” The setter beamed, turning back to the pancakes on the stove in front of him. “Nice boxers.” He teased, as Iwaizumi looked down, suddenly realising all he was wearing was a pair of Godzilla boxers that he had gotten on his 19th birthday as a gag gift from Hanamaki that he actually ended up liking.

Iwaizumi’s cheeks flushed slightly in embarrassment, before he glared at Oikawa. “Shut up, Shittykawa.” He insisted, taking a seat at the breakfast bar. This felt comfortably domestic, and as nice as that was, Iwaizumi’s mind was made up. “Since when can you cook anything?” He questioned curiously.

“Well, I took a few cooking classes a couple of months ago, and I practiced so I could do something for you for once.” He turned and piled up 3 american-style pancakes onto the plate in front of Iwaizumi, a slight gleam catching the latter’s eye as Oikawa stacked his own plate up just as high.

“You’re wearing your ring?” Iwaizumi questioned.

Oikawa chuckled to himself slightly. “Yeah. And you’re not.” He pointed out, embarrassing his husband slightly.

“I took it off for the first time in 5 years last night.” Iwaizumi responded, making a sly dig at Oikawa, which he picked up on. Iwaizumi sighed as his husband dug into his breakfast. “Oikawa.” The mentioned looked up from his plate at him. “You need to move out.”

Oikawa’s smile sank and it broke Iwaizumi’s heart seeing him look that way, so he looked down at his hands instead. “Why?” The taller asked, the pain in his voice was prominent and clear. And it pissed Iwaizumi off that the guy just assumed life could fall back to normal just because he came back.

“Because I need to decide what  _ I  _ want.” He snapped. “And I can’t do that if I have you here.” Oikawa looked hurt by the statement; by the fact that his husband was still considering a divorce even though he had come back. He understood though. He hadn’t treated him right for the past eight years, so a little resistance now was to be expected.

Oikawa smirked slightly, and Iwaizumi’s brow furrowed in confusion. “And what if I don’t want to leave?”

Iwaizumi sighed. “Tooru, please don’t make this any harder than it already is.” He reached out and grabbed his husband’s hand. “Please give me the time I need to figure this all out.” Oikawa stayed silent, but nodded in understanding.

The two ate breakfast in silence, and it was Oikawa that raised the first question as the two of them were clearing up. “So, about that kiss last night…”

“Tooru. It was nothing. It was just an ‘in the moment’ thing, and it didn’t mean anything.”

“So he has nothing to do with the papers?”

Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa, as if he had just been accused of something heinous. “What exactly are you suggesting?” He gritted his teeth as he asked. “Because if you’re suggesting that I have been anything other than 100% faithful to you these past  _ eight years _ , while you’ve been prancing around Argentina acting single, then I’m gonna have to kick your ass, Trashykawa.” 

Oikawa raised his hands in defence. “I was just asking.” He defended. “I mean, we’ve only been separated just over two weeks, and yet you’re  _ already  _ out on a double date with Tobio and Shoyo.”

“It wasn’t a double date, asshole.” Iwaizumi had dumped the sponge in the sink, in favour of turning to argue with his husband.

Oikawa snapped. “Then why didn’t you wear your ring?”

“Because we’re getting divorced, dumbass.” Oikawa looked pained by the statement. “At least I  _ have  _ been wearing it up until now.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You have no tan line on your ring finger.” Iwaizumi pointed out. “The only time you have  _ ever  _ worn yours is when I visited you, or when you came home.” He was right, but that didn’t make it less of a surprise to Oikawa that he had noticed. “And, while we're on the topic, why have you acted single this whole time. People didn’t need to know you’re gay to know you’re married.”

“Hajime I-”

“ _ Do you really think the great Tooru Oikawa would ever be tied down? _ ” Oikawa was silenced by the words he had said less than a month ago at the announcement press conference. “I guess soon you’ll be telling the truth when you say shit like that.” Oikawa opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted before he could do so. “And, you know what, I want a damn explanation. Why did you sign on for another year? You knew how it would end. I told you what would happen.” Iwaizumi was clearly holding back tears as he was finally asking the questions he was desperate for the answers to. “I expected it. I did. But it still hurt like hell.” His voice broke slightly as he spoke, but he pushed passed it. “Everything we built. Every memory. Every moment together. The past 27 years. Does it all mean  _ that little  _ to you? Was I not even worth a phone call before the announcement?”

Oikawa stepped forward towards his husband who was now on the verge of tears. “Iwa-chan I-” He started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and averting his gaze so he wasn’t making eye contact. “I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry.”

Iwaizumi sighed, and rubbed his hands across his eyes to stop the tears. “I don’t know why I expected more than that.” He admitted. “I need to think.” He turned to walk away, but was stopped by a hand grabbing his arm. “Tooru. Let go of m-” Oikawa’s lips landed on Iwaizumi’s seemingly suddenly, and the latter sank into the feeling he had been missing for over a month now, ignoring the argument they had just had, and allowing the desperation he was feeling to take over. Oikawa could feel it in the way Iwaizumi clung to him and kissed him back roughly, could feel it in the way that Iwaizumi barely allowed himself a moment to breathe, for fear that if he pulled away for one second, the kiss would end. He could feel it in the way that Iwaizumi followed through and dipped his tongue inside Oikawa’s mouth when Oikawa withdrew his. He did the same thing the first time they kissed, and Oikawa couldn’t help but groan a little as he did it, because Iwaizumi had a dominant side that came out when they kissed, the same side that came out when they used to play volleyball.

It was Iwaizumi that stopped the kiss, pushing himself back from Oikawa, but keeping hmiself close as the taller setter placed his forehead against Iwaizumi’s. “That.” Iwaizumi started. “That is why I need you to move out.” The two stood in the kitchen, heads resting against eachother as Oikawa sighed.

“You don’t really want me to go, do you?” He questioned, curiously.

“Of course I don’t.” Iwaizumi responded, and Oikawa smiled slightly. “But I need you to. I need to figure everything out. I need to figure out if I can put up with your shit for the rest of my life.”

Oikawa smirked. “You’ve put up with me for this long.” He joked.

“Yeah. And I’m just about done with your selfish attitude.” Iwaizumi retorted.

That hit Oikawa; hard. A lot of people had called him selfish over the years, but never Iwaizumi. So hearing him say it was almost like a wake up call.  _ Almost _ . “Okay.” He responded simply, stepping back from Iwaizumi, and walking around him. “I’ll pack my things.

Oikawa was packed and ready to go quite quickly - he hadn’t brought much into the house with him - most of it was still in his car. He planted a lingering kiss on Iwaizumi’s forehead, and left for a hotel, where he planned to stay for a few days before finding an apartment to rent.

Iwaizumi sat on the couch in the living room and leant his head back. “Damnit Oikawa.” He whispered to himself. All he could think was how he was  _ just _ moving on, he was  _ just  _ starting to get used to life without the guy, and now he was back. It wasn’t fair. And it made everything a hell of a lot harder for him. He needed to decide if he wanted to stay with Oikawa now that he was back, or if his selfish attitude was still too much for him to put up with. And he needed to decide soon. It wouldn’t be fair to lead him on if he wasn’t going to take him back.

He sat in silence with his thoughts for a while, interuppted by the buzz on his phone.  _ Atsumu _ .

_ << I’m sorry about last night. I crossed a line. Can I treat you to lunch to apologise? _


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not a date!
> 
> Some early marriage IwaOi, a planned date for the following week, and an upcoming party.
> 
> **Flashback in italics**

_ It’s not a date. It’s not a date. It’s not a date.  _ Iwaizumi repeated the same phrase to himself, over and over again. Unsure if he was reminding himself, or convincing himself of this. The drive to the cafe felt way too short, he got there about fifteen minutes earlier than he had to be, so he sat in his car across the street and thought about the first time he was here. It was just over five years earlier, and the grand opening.

***

_ “Iwa-Chan!” Oikawa called down the street from the doorway of the cafe - Sunrise Roast. “They have a table. Hurry up!” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and smiled as he walked over to the small building that his husband had just bounded into. He walked through the door, and sat himself down across from the beaming setter, who seemed excited to be here, at a window table. The atmosphere in this small cafe was perfect. It was calm, and no one seemed to pay attention to anyone else, so it was the perfect place for them to just be husbands. Oikawa’s pure, unadulterated joy made Iwaizumi happy to see. His smile was honest. He was happy to be here. “Isn’t this a beautiful cafe, Hajime?” _

_ Iwaizumi smiled. Hearing Oikawa say his name always made him feel warm inside. He looked around at the paintings on the walls, and realised that all of them were done by local artists - he would have to tell Hanamaki about it, and see if any of his work could be put up. “It is nice. We should come here more often once you’re home.” Iwaizumi suggested, and it seemed to go over well with his new husband. _

_ “Just one more year, and I’ll be back for good. I promise.” He smiled radiantly, and it gave Iwaizumi the confidence to trust him.  _

_ “One more year.” Iwaizumi clarified, and the two intertwined their fingers beneath the table whilst a lovely waitress took their order. Oikawa ordered an omelette and chai tea, and Iwaizumi ordered pancakes and a black coffee; their respective favourites. The two sat quietly in each other's company as they watched the world go by. _

_ “Tooru?” Iwaizumi broke the silence, and Oikawa hummed to signify he was listening. “Are you sure you don’t want me to move out there with you? Your knee is just recovering. You can just start playing again. I want to make sure you take care of yourself properly.” _

_ Oikawa looked over at him, and smiled. “Our life is here, Hajime.” He insisted. “I’ll be okay. Besides, if you’re not here, who’s gonna live in that big house we just bought?” _

_ Iwaizumi sighed, but smiled softly at the setter across from him. “I’ll be out to visit you once a month, so don’t get yourself up to too much trouble, okay?” Oikawa looked pleased at the statement. They had only been married for a few weeks, but it had been blissful. Oikawa hadn’t been himself lately, as he had been forced to take 6 months away from volleyball due to an injury in his knee, but since the day Iwaizumi suggested they elope, rather than have a large wedding, Oikawa’s spirits had been up, and the wedding was amazing anyway. It was just Hanamaki and Matskawa there on the day, but they made it perfect. And at the end of that day, they were married - which was the only important factor. _

_ Their breakfast came, and they ate with light conversation. It felt perfect. It felt the way it should have. “Iwa-chan, you’re such a messy eater in the morning.” Oikawa laughed as he reached out with a napkin to wipe a droplet of syrup off the light grey jumper. “That’s going to leave a stain.” He tutted. _

_ “Shut up, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi grinned as he spoke. “What do you suggest I do, huh?” He joked rhetorically, not expecting an answer. _

_ “Well,” Oikawa started, “You can’t do it here, but at home, why don't you eat before you get dressed? That way you can make sure you’re clean before you go and see any clients.” Iwaizumi hummed at the suggestion and nodded. It was actually a good recommendation - one that he would be sure to take on board. _

_ It was simple moments like this that Iwaizumi missed when Oikawa was away. It wasn’t exactly an exciting morning, but he was content, and Oikawa was happy. The simplest things were the easiest to miss. But he didn’t have to think about that here. He still had Oikawa for another week before he went back to Argentina. So he would enjoy this week as much as he could. _

***

Iwaizumi was brought back to reality by a light tap on his car window. He gave a small smile to Atsumu, who was grinning at him through the glass, and stepped out of the car. “Morning sunshine.” Atsumu said as he and Iwaizumi crossed the street to Sunrise Roast. Iwaizumi looked at the setter as he greeted him the same way his husband had earlier that morning, then turned back towards the cafe.

“Isn’t it a bit early for lunch?” Iwaizumi questioned. “It’s only 10:30.” He pointed out.

“I know, I know,” Atsumu responded, “But this place closes at…”

“12, I know. But why did you want to specifically come here?” Iwaizumi interrupted.

“Don’t you think this is a beautiful cafe, Hajime?” Atsumu asked, walking ahead into the cafe to find a table, as Iwaizumi was thrown back to his date here with Oikawa five years earlier by the similar words that had just been asked of him. 

He entered the cafe a few moments after Atsumu, to find that he had sat at the window table that Iwaizumi and Oikawa always sat at. He sighed to himself as he headed over to the chair that he always sat on when he was here. The waitress came over and took their order: fried egg on toast and a green tea for Atsumu, and just a black coffee for Iwaizumi. “No pancakes this time?” She joked with Iwaizumi.

“No, not today. I already had some homemade this morning.” The waitress smiled at him and walked away.

Atsumu looked at Iwaizumi, slightly shocked. “So you’re a regular here, then?” He questioned, curiously.

“I am. Whenever Oikawa is in town for a week, we have breakfast here a few times. And I occasionally come in and order a coffee to go for myself.” 

“Why did you agree to come this morning if you’d already eaten?” Atsumu asked.

Iwaizumi smiled. “Free coffee.” He joked, and Atsumu glared at him slightly before smiling again.

Atsumu was full of questions that morning, but Iwaizumi didn’t mind. The guy was allowed to be curious, especially after last night. “So, what made you want pancakes this morning?”

“That’s a stupid question.” He laughed. “It’s pancakes. I always want pancakes.”

“Aren’t you a bit of a health nut at the moment though?”

“Hey, if someone loves you enough to make you pancakes, you accept that offer straight away.” Atsumu’s smile turned to a look of confusion, and Iwaizumi suddenly realised that he hadn’t mentioned Oikawa’s return yet. “Oh, right.” He started. “Erm, Oikawa’s back.”

Atsumu tried to smile; tried to pretend to be happy for Iwaizumi, but the disappointment in his face was obvious. “Oh, that’s good. That’s what you wanted, right?”

Iwaizumi sighed, and slouched back into his chair. “It was.” He said, bluntly. “But I don’t know anymore.” He confessed.

“Do you still love him?”

“Of course I still love him. I’ve loved him my whole life. You don’t just lose a feeling like that.” He began, confidently. “But that’s not the issue here. I don’t know if I can allow myself to be vulnerable with him again. I don’t want to let my guard down and end up disappointed  _ again _ .” He continued, passionately. “The question isn’t if I love him. I’ll always love him. He will  _ always _ be the love of my life. The question is whether or not I trust him when he promises to not let me down again. It’s a judge of character, not a question of love.”

Atsumu held his tongue. He wanted to scream to just let the guy go and move on with his life, but he knew it wasn’t his place. This crush he had on Iwaizumi was nothing compared to the flame Iwaizumi held for Oikawa, and he could never live up to that, even if Iwaizumi did decide to proceed with the divorce, and try to move on.

The waitress brought over their order before either of them could say any more, and struck up a conversation with Iwaizumi, as Atsumu dug into his breakfast. “No Oikawa today?” She questioned politely.

“No, not this morning. He had somewhere to be so my friend here offered to treat me.” He gestured to Atsumu, who already had a mouth full of food.

“Maybe you should have gotten the pancakes, if it was on someone else.” The waitress joked.

Iwaizumi smiled up at her as he took a sip of his coffee. “Oikawa made pancakes this morning, so I’m already full. The coffee’s really good though. Who’s the barista today?” He questioned, and Atsumu was a little shocked that he revealed he was with Oikawa early enough for the latter to make him breakfast.

The waitress looked behind her, and gestured over to the counter. “It’s Akaashi this morning.” The dark haired guy behind the counter smiled and waved at Iwaizumi, who waved back.

“Give him my compliments.” Iwaizumi insisted, and she smiled politely and walked away to take another table order. Iwaizumi turned back to Atsumu, who had almost finished his breakfast already. “That was fast.” He pointed out. “Were you hungry?”

Atsumu grinned with his mouth closed as it was full, and swallowed. “Very.” He confirmed. “Does that waitress know about you and Oikawa?” He asked.

Iwaizumi nodded as he took another sip of his coffee. “All the staff and regulars here do. They’re basically the only people in the world who know, and none of them are bothered by it. So it makes this the ideal cafe for us.”

“Us?” Atsumu questioned, unsure if he was talking about the two of them or not.

“Me and Oikawa.” He confirmed. And Atsumu’s smile sank. “Stop doing that.” Iwaizumi insisted.

“What do you mean?”

“You keep frowning whenever I mention Oikawa.” He pointed out. “We can’t be friends if you’re gonna pull a face like that whenever I talk about him.” Iwaizumi insisted. “The first twenty years of our lives, we didn’t spend a second apart, so all of my stories include him.” Atsumu blushed slightly in embarrassment and looked away.

“Sorry. I’ll get used to it, I swear.” He assured. “I’m sorry about last night.” He said, sheepishly, remembering why he had invited Iwaizumi here in the first place.

Iwaizumi smiled softly. “I didn’t exactly stop you. I’m just as much to blame.”

“But you were vulnerable, and I think I took advantage of that. So please accept my apology.” Atsumu pressed.

“It’s okay. Really. It just can’t happen again, okay?” Atsumu nodded in understanding. They finished their drinks, and respectively said goodbye to one another, heading off in separate directions. Iwaizumi thought about it, and if Atsumu could get over this crush, he would be happy to be friends with the guy. It was actually refreshing to be around him. He was funny, and he could hold an intelligent conversation, so he would be a worthwhile friend.

***

Oikawa arrived at the hotel not long after he left their home. He threw himself onto the bed and sighed. Seeing Iwaizumi that morning was exactly what he had needed, and that kiss would sit with him for weeks. He knew he had made a mistake by kissing Iwaizumi - it wasn’t fair for him to do something like that when Iwaizumi’s mind clearly wasn’t clear right now - but he would be lying if he said he regretted it. He hadn’t kissed his husband for over a month before that, and he had missed it. That one moment made the morning a good one, even if he had been kicked out straight after. 

His mind wondered as he tried to think of a way to win Iwaizumi back, and he realised that the only he could be sure to get him to stay, would be to show him that he was here; that he wasn’t going anywhere, and there was nowhere else he’d rather be. It was going to be hard to prove that after the interview he had done a few weeks ago, but it was different now - he had paid his way out of his contract, for Iwaizumi. He had agreed not to say anything until after the first game, but he could tell Iwaizumi, right? Just to let him know he was staying.

A date would be a good first step. He knew his husband needed time, but if he asked him on a date for next week, he was sure he’d say yes. Oikawa held his phone in his hands, thinking about how to ask. He hadn’t felt this nervous since the first time he asked Iwaizumi out for dinner after their high school graduation. It took almost an hour for him to decide what to say, but he finally made the decision, and hit send. All he had to do now was wait, and that was the hard part.

_ >> Iwa-chan, I know you need time, and I respect that, but let me show you that I have changed. Give me a chance? Say dinner on Wednesday? I’ll take you to that Italian place you like in Miyagi, and it’s on me of course. _

Oikawa sat in the silence of his own company as he awaited a response from Iwaizumi. He knew there was a good chance his husband had gone out for coffee, so it may take a while for him to get back to him, but the time seemed to pass so slowly and Oikawa’s nerves started to get the better of him, so a run was the way he chose to distract himself.

It wasn’t on purpose, but Oikawa found himself outside the Sunrise Roast. There was no sign of Iwaizumi, but he headed in - there was no harm in a chai tea, and the place was open for another half hour so it wasn’t like they’d be mad at him coming in late. 

“Hey! Oikawa! Good Morning!” The waitress - Misaki - beamed as he walked into the cafe. Oikawa smiled at her, it was nice that everyone knew each other in here. “I heard you beat us to the punch with the pancakes this morning.”

“So Hajime  _ did  _ sneak down here? I thought he might.” Oikawa joked.

Misaki chuckled. “Yeah. His blond friend treated him, but he just had a coffee.”  _ Blond friend _ . Hearing that struck Oikawa, hard. Iwaizumi came to  _ their  _ spot with Atsumu.

“Ah, so you met the blond friend.” Oikawa spoke, casually, not letting on that he was hurt by it. “Tell me, is he prettier than me?” He winked at her, and she giggled.

“Of course not.” Misaki smiled. “Is everything alright with Iwaizumi at the minute though?” She asked casually as she signaled to Akaashi to make a chai tea and plugged the order into the till.

Oikawa tilted his head in confusion at the question. “As far as I’m aware, he’s fine? Why? Did he say something to suggest he wasn't?” 

Misaki sighed. “He just didn’t seem like himself. He seemed a little down is all.”

Before he had a chance to respond, his phone buzzed in his pocket - exactly what he had been waiting for. Iwaizumi.

_ << Wednesday works. Pick me up at 7? _

__ Oikawa’s smile widened. Not only had Iwaizumi accepted the date offer, but he wanted Oikawa to pick him up - he didn’t want an escape route. “Everything’s good. We’re actually going on a date next week, so we may be in here on Thursday for breakfast.” He responded, as he sent a text back and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

_ >>Can’t wait :) _

He picked up his Chai tea from the counter, thanked the two behind it, and left for a walk back to the hotel. He now had something to look forward to. He just had to fill the time between now and then. There was the olympic gym nearby, so he could go and train at some point over the next few days, and he needed to catch up with Mattsun and Makki soon. There was also a new observatory open to the public, so he could go there one evening. Time fillers were easy to find in Sendai - lots of tourist attractions. He didn’t want a minute of silence, because then his mind would wonder, and he didn’t want to overthink anything between now and then.

Makki called him that afternoon, inviting him to a party the next night, which he happily agreed to go to. There was a good chance Iwaizumi would be there, so it’d be a good chance to see him in a casual setting too. He just had to decide what to wear. All of his good clothes were at the house, so he decided instead of going home and getting some, he’d just buy more - something he made the mistake of saying to Makki, who then insisted they go tomorrow, and make an afternoon of it before the party.

Oikawa was still suffering from jet lag, so he slept for the rest of the afternoon, knowing that the next day would feel busier, so he wanted to get as much rest as possible. He wanted to look good for his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I actually have loads planned for future chapters of this story, so I hope you're okay with the idea that this may go on for a while <3


	7. Chapter 7

To say that Makki was happy to see Oikawa back in Japan would be an understatement. The moment he saw him, he practically leapt into the setter’s arms as a hello, almost knocking Oikawa off his feet. “Makki-chan!” Oikawa smiled as he hugged his friend tightly. They both held on as if they hadn’t seen each other earlier that week back in Argentina. “How are you? And how’s Mattsun?” He asked as he let go of the hug and looked down at him.

“I’m good. We’re good.” He responded, wrapping his arm around Oikawa, as the taller did the same and the two started walking. “We’ve basically been screwing like bunnies since he proposed. We’re both excited to join you and Iwaizumi in the married club.”

Oikawa laughed. “Well, I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but we may not be staying in the married club.” He joked pitifully, causing Makki to look at him sympathetically. “Don’t do that.” Oikawa insisted. “I’m winning him back, so don’t give me any sympathy. I deserve a little pain before getting him back anyway. I haven’t exactly been the best husband.”

Makki nodded, and tried to change the topic. “So are you back for good? Or just visiting?” He questioned, curious if Oikawa thought he could get Iwaizumi back if it was only temporary.

Oikawa sighed. “I’m really not supposed to disclose that information yet…” He started, and Makki looked up at him, shocked.

“Wait-” He started, “Are you saying..?” Oikawa grinned and nodded at him, and Makki almost squealed with excitement. “Oh my god that’s  _ amazing _ !!” He bounced up and down slightly.

“Well, I did it for Hajime. He’s sacrificed so much for me over the years. I mean, he even lived in Argentina with me for a year. And he would have stayed longer, but he was miserable there. I couldn’t let him sacrifice any more of his time out there - it wouldn’t have been fair to him. So I promised I’d follow him back here. And I guess I have now, but it’s been three years since I made that promise.” Neither Oikawa or Iwaizumi had spoken to their friends about the problems they had had in their marriage before the past few weeks, so a lot of this was fresh news to Hanamaki. “I’m honestly not surprised he gave up on me in the end.” Oikawa continued. “He warned me. He gave me an ultimatum, and I thought he was bluffing.”

“An ultimatum?” Hanamaki urged more information out of his friend, and Oikawa went into detail on how Iwaizumi had asked him to come home for a year - not forever, he just wanted a year. Oikawa told him he would, then a month before he signed the new contract he told him that he was considering signing on for another year, and Iwaizumi said he couldn’t wait around on broken promises anymore - that he were to keep his promise to him, or Iwaizumi would file for divorce. Oikawa broke his promise, and a week later he received the already drawn up divorce papers in the mail.

Hanamaki gently steered the topic into a cheerier subject to try to take Oikawa’s mind off the divorce. They landed on the party that was happening that night. It was an engagement party that they had put off until now, as they wanted Oikawa to be there when they threw it - learning this made Oikawa feel touched, it showed that his friends cared about him being there for the big moments. Makki went through the people on the guest list that Oikawa would probably recognise - obviously the team from high school, or at least a few of them, said they could make it, then there were a few members from Karasuno that Matsukawa had gone to college with, then kept in touch with afterwards, there were people that they never knew during highschool, but played volleyball with casually in college, and still played with now for fun. 

“Okay, so I have basically no clothes because all my stuff is summer wear, so I need an outfit for tonight, and something for my date next week.” He clarified, and Makki got excited. He loved helping Oikawa shop, because Oikawa had seemingly unlimited funds, and he listened to Hanamaki’s advice when it came to style.

They went into 6 different tailors looking for the perfect suit for Oikawa’s upcoming date, and found the perfect five-piece suit - it was a dark navy blue, and slim-fit - and it fit perfectly without any alterations needed. The restaurant he was taking Iwaizumi to was a five-star one, with a black-tie dress code, so the suit was well tailored to that. 

As for the party, Oikawa bought himself a new pair of denim jeans, a white t-shirt, and a wine red Carhartt shirt to wear over the top, unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up - an outfit approved by Makki.

The two of them then went for a light lunch at a nearby sushi restaurant, before separating to each prepare for the evening ahead. Oikawa couldn’t help but be excited. Iwaizumi was going to be there, maybe they could use this as an excuse to talk about their relationship. Nothing that would cause an argument, of course, but maybe a step in the right direction. And if that failed, Oikawa could always get slaughtered and try to forget about his problems, but he really hoped that it wouldn’t get to that.

***

Iwaizumi was nervous. It was just a party, he knew that. He’d been to hundreds of Makki’s parties before, and it wasn’t like Oikawa would care what he was wearing either, so why had he changed his outfit four times already? He stared at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a pair of slightly torn jeans, a black t-shirt, and a grey striped cardigan that Oikawa had got for him for his birthday a few years ago. He had also put his ring back on. Not everyone at the party knew about the divorce, and he didn’t want to tell people before he was sure what he was doing.

He stared at himself in the mirror. “Just breathe, Hajime.” He said to himself as he exhaled deeply, trying to calm his pounding heart. “It’s just a party. And if you need to leave early, you can. You’re not drinking.” He reminded himself. Iwaizumi hadn’t drank since the night after Oikawa received the divorce papers. He had felt so bad the next morning, that he had pulled himself into a forced sobriety that he didn’t plan on breaking just because Oikawa was here.

The drive to Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s place took longer than he planned, as there was an unexpected amount of traffic for a Saturday at 9:30pm. The party had already been going for a few hours, but Iwaizumi always showed up late to these things. He pulled up outside the moderately sized house, and took another three big, deep breaths, before getting out, and heading in with a small gift in his hands for the couple.

As he walked through the front door, the social anxiety he used to suffer from at parties in high school seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks. When he came to parties with Oikawa, he felt like he had a safety net, but he suddenly felt alone again, and so he was thrown back to his old self. He slowly took a step backwards towards the exit. Then another. But as he turned to leave before even being seen, he bumped into someone who was on their way in.

He stepped back slightly, and apologised - avoiding eye contact as he now felt awkward having been caught trying to run from a party he had just arrived at. “Hey, it’s okay Haji.” Oikawa said softly, as he lightly placed his hand on Iwaizumi’s arm. It was only when he spoke that Iwaizumi looked up and realised it was his husband - his safety net - that he had bumped into. “Are you alright?” Oikawa asked, concerned. “Do you need some air? A glass of water? Need me to 5 4 3 2 1?” It was clear that Oikawa was worried that Iwaizumi was about to have an anxiety attack, but the strange thing was, now that Oikawa was here, he felt a wave of calm come over him. He pushed forward towards Oikawa and - much to the setters' surprise - he plunged himself into a hug. At first, the taller of the two wasn’t sure what was happening, but it was clear that this was what his husband needed right now, so Oikawa hugged him back tightly. “Are you okay?” He asked again after a short while.

Iwaizumi exhaled deeply and pulled out of the hug, looking up at his partner as he did. “You showed up just at the right time. Thank you.” He said simply, before walking across to the other side of the room where Matsukawa was, leaving Oikawa there, slightly baffled. Just knowing that Oikawa was here gave Iwaizumi the confidence he needed to face the party. Because, if at any point he felt overwhelmed, Oikawa knew what to do to calm him down.

He hugged Matsukawa and Hanamaki hello, then handed them the gift. “It’s nothing big, but congratulations you guys.”

Matsukawa smiled as he took the small box out of Iwaizumi’s hand. “I’m sure we’ll love whatever it is.” He stated simply, as he opened the box, Hanamaki peering over his shoulder to see it as it opened. Inside sat two silver watches, both with the initials  _ ‘I.M.&T.H.’  _ engraved on the back of them. The two looked at each other, smiled, then looked at Iwaizumi. “They’re amazing.” Matsukawa insisted, pulling one out and fastening it to Hanamaki’s wrist, then placing the other on his own wrist, Hanamaki securing it for him. “Thank you, Iwaizumi.” He said simply.

“I’m glad you like them. If nothing else, it’ll mean neither of you are late for dates.” He joked, and the pair laughed. There was a comfort in the feeling of being around the pair - they had a way with people that just made them easy to be around.

“What are you drinking?” Hanamaki asked, leading Iwaizumi to the kitchen through the crowd of people.

“Just soda water for me.” Iwaizumi insisted, and Hanamaki looked at him as if he had just kicked a puppy. “I’m not drinking at the minute. And I drove so there’s that.” His friend looked at him, disapprovingly, but poured him the requested drink anyway.

He handed Iwaizumi the glass, and started up conversation about Oikawa - after the setter had opened up to him earlier, he couldn’t help be nosey. “So, are you looking forward to your date next week?”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “It’s not a date. It’s just…” He hesitated slightly, “dinner.” He finished, and Hanamaki looked at him as if to say  _ ‘really?’  _ causing Iwaizumi to chuckle. “Why do you think it’s a date, anyway?” He asked.

“Because that’s the way your husband described it.”

“He did?” Iwa questioned, unsure why he was surprised by this. He glanced over Hanamaki’s shoulder, and caught sight of Oikawa on the other side of the room, in a seemingly deep conversation with Matsukawa. He gestured towards the pair and Hanamaki turned. “Well it seems like mine is chewing the ear of yours, so maybe you should go save him.” Hanamaki nodded and took a step before being stopped by Iwaizumi’s hand on his arm. “And do me a favour?” Iwaizumi requested. “Send Oikawa out to the garden?” Hanamaki agreed, and Iwaizumi disappeared out the back door. 

Matsukawa’s garden was huge - it was at least triple the size of the house - and at the end of it sat a handmade wooden gazebo that had a skylight roof so that they could look at the stars on a clear night. Iwaizumi stood in the middle, looking up at the night sky. He could see Aquarius prominently this night, and the sky reminded him of the long drive he and Oikawa took in the autumn after their 20th birthdays. They drove and walked a combined amount of almost two hours to the base of Mount Funagata in order to find a clearing in the forest so they could lie and look up at the stars together.

***

_ It was cold. Easily below freezing. But the warmth of Oikawa’s hand made up for it. It felt ridiculous coming all this way to see the stars. Until they looked up at them. Never in his life had Iwaizumi’s mind felt so clear, yet so full at the same time. The floor wasn’t exactly comfortable, and the blanket they had brought didn’t help, but it didn’t matter. None of that mattered now. Iwaizumi looked over at his partner, whose face was full of awe, and it seemed like the entire sky was captured in his eyes. He fell deeper in love with Oikawa as the setter pointed up at the sky, and started rambling on about the constellations, and how there were some that could be seen year round and some that could only be seen at certain points. Iwaizumi would be lying if he said he was paying attention to anything Oikawa was saying, but it was that moment for him. It was that passionate rambling. The way he had an abundance of knowledge on such an irrelevant subject. The way he looked over and smiled at his boyfriend. For Iwaizumi, that was the moment he decided he was going to spend the rest of his life with Oikawa. _

_ “Tooru.” He said, interrupting the rambling. Oikawa looked at him, but Iwaizumi kept his eyes on the sky. “I’m gonna marry you one day.” Oikawa was rendered speechless. Of all of the things he expected Iwaizumi to say then, that wasn’t on the list. He didn’t respond, he just turned his head back to the sky and edged himself closer to Iwaizumi so that the sides of their heads touched as they lay there in silence for a while, just looking at the stars, listening to the sounds of their own breathing and the creaking of the trees around them. It was the most peaceful Iwaizumi had felt in a long time, the smell of Oikawa laying next to him, the warmth of his body, the quiet of the night. He tried to force his mind not to wander, not to think about the fact that he knew Oikawa was going back to Argentina again soon. About the fact that he was about to do a year long placement in California, and wouldn’t have the same number of opportunities to see him. _

_ He instead focused on the sound of Oikawa breathing next to him, on the heavy feeling of his calloused hand that was holding onto his tightly, on the way the stars twinkled like Oikawa's eyes when the sunlight caught them just right. _

_ Oikawa started humming randomly an immeasurable number of minutes later - the same way he did when he was filling silence in high school, though Iwaizumi couldn’t figure out what rhythm he was trying to mimic. Still, he smiled stupidly, holding Oikawa’s hand tighter, and listening to his smooth voice hum its way through the same song a couple times before moving on to something completely different. Iwaizumi enjoyed every moment of the sound, even if he didn’t recognise a single tune. _

_ Eventually, they started to talk. Not about anything particularly important, but they just...talked. It was nice. Iwaizumi told Oikawa about a prank that Matsukawa pulled on one of his college roommates earlier that week, and about how Makki was helping said roommate plan for the ‘best prank in history’, to get back at him. Oikawa told Iwaizumi about how in order to haze him when he first played for San Juan the previous year, the team staged an alien abduction and Oikawa really fell for it - because of course he did.  _

***

Iwaizumi smiled to himself as he stared at the sky and remembered that night. He glanced over at Oikawa as the setter approached the gazebo, and sat himself on the floor, gesturing for the taller of the pair to join him. As Oikawa sat, he looked at his husband, who was still looking up at the sky, so he did the same. “Do you remember,” Iwaizumi started, “That October after you signed up for your second year in Argentina, we drove up to the mountains, and just lay in that clearing, looking at the sky.”

“I do.” Oikawa responded simply.

“That was the night I decided to marry you.” Oikawa looked at him, and smiled softly. “The sky looked like this. And you were rambling about constellations. And I just knew. In that moment. I just knew.”

Oikawa lay himself down as he looked at the sky, Iwaizumi following his lead and laying next to him. “I don’t want to sign the papers.” Oikawa confessed.

Iwaizumi sighed. “I don’t know if I can stay married to you.” He responded, and Oikawa riskily attempted to interlock his fingers with Iwaizumi’s - which he allowed to happen. He could feel that Iwaizumi was wearing his ring again, and it gave him a small sense of relief. “That doesn’t mean I don’t love you though. I do. I always will.”

“So why can’t we just make it work?” Oikawa pleaded.

“It’s not that simple.” Iwaizumi explained. “I wish it was. I really do.”

“What’s the problem? I want to make it up to you. I want to fix this.”

“It’s more than just an easy fix.” He started, prepared to explain this calmly to his husband. “I don’t know if I can believe you anymore. If I can trust you…”

He was interrupted by a sly comment made by Oikawa, “You don’t know if  _ you  _ can trust  _ me _ .” He muttered, instantly regretting it when Iwaizumi pulled his hand away and sat himself back up, looking down at Oikawa.

“Like I explained,  _ yesterday _ . That was a heat of the moment thing, and meant  _ nothing _ .” He expressed, clearly hurt about the accusation that was implied in Oikawa’s words.

“Is that why you went to  _ our  _ spot with him yesterday?”

Iwaizumi looked insulted, and angry. “Did you follow me?” He questioned as he stood, Oikawa standing too.

“No. I went to get a chai tea, and the waitress told me about you and your  _ blond friend _ .”

Iwaizumi shook his head as his eyes welled up slightly. “I can’t believe you would think for even a  _ second _ I would do that to you.”

“How can you blame me? I’ve been back  _ two days _ and I’ve seen you go on two dates with this guy in that time?”

“They weren’t dates!” Iwaizumi expressed, the hurt in his voice starting to tug on Oikawa, causing the guilt he felt to increase. “The love I have for you, the way I feel about you? Tooru, I have never felt more passionately about anything. The way that I love you, it’s consuming. You have a hold on me that stops me from being able to even think about anything outside of you.” Iwaizumi sighed, as Oikawa took a slight step closer to him.

“Hajime- I-”

“Don’t.” Iwaizumi stopped him. “Don’t just apologise and think it will make everything better.” Oikawa froze in his tracks, resisting the urge to reach out and pull his husband in close. “This is why I can’t be with you. At least, not right now. Because I will forgive you.” Iwaizumi turned and headed back towards the house, stopping at the edge of the gazebo to look back at Oikawa. “I need to figure out who I am outside of you.”

As he walked back towards the house, Oikawa stayed put. Frozen in place, stars shining above him. He wanted to call out after him; to stop him. But he didn’t. Instead, he stayed there in silence, thinking about the words that were just spoken so passionately to him, and realising for the first time just how detrimental his actions over the past few years must have been for Iwaizumi. 

Hanamaki found him out there about a half hour later, just staring towards the back door where Hajime disappeared after their argument. He told Oikawa that Iwaizumi had left as soon as he had come inside, and that if he was trying to avoid an argument he would be fine now. Oikawa stayed quiet, replaying the conversation over and over again in his head - considering what he should have said differently, and thinking about the overwhelming power in his partners words.

Oikawa got wasted after he came out of his trance. He had nowhere to be the following day, so he felt comfortable doing so. And he was at Makki and Mattsun’s place, so it was a familiar setting. He felt secure enough here to get shitfaced and not worry about a thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know this chapter isn't top quality. I have had a long week, and I just wanted to post. I hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Iwaizumi was home less than an hour after he left, and all he could think about was how angry Oikawa had made him. The audacity of that guy to accuse him of something so heinous; something that he would never do to the man he loved. He pulled an old bottle of whiskey out of the liquor cabinet and stared at it in his hands. It had been almost a month since he last had a drink, and he had been proud of himself for giving it up. He actually felt consistently better after doing so. But right now he just wanted a drink. He pulled the lid out of the glass bottle, and poured himself a glass, taking in a large sniff of the drink, before finishing it in one gulp, and placing the glass back on the side as he swallowed. “Fuck.” He muttered to himself as the alcohol rushed right to his head. He knew it was a mistake before drinking it, but the feeling he had now had solidified that thought.

He sat on the couch, leaning his head back, closing his eyes, and letting out a large sigh. “Why is it so fucking hard to hate you?” He asked, quietly. He was angry - so fucking angry - but he couldn’t bring himself to hate Oikawa. Even after the argument they had just had, all Iwaizumi wanted to do was call him, and tell him to come home. He didn’t want a divorce. He didn’t want it all to be over. He didn’t want the last 27 years to have amounted to nothing. He just wanted things to be  _ normal _ again. 

As Iwaizumi drifted off to sleep, he thought about Oikawa; he thought about the night he proposed. That warm summer night in California on Oikawa’s 21st birthday. They hadn’t seen each other in months - they didn’t even see each other on Iwaizumi’s 21st - but he had paid for Oikawa’s flight out there so they could spend a few days together. He was certain he would say yes, but he was nervous anyway.

***

_ Iwaizumi stood on the balcony, overlooking the ocean. He kept messing with the small ring box in his pocket, trying to figure out when the perfect moment would be. They had already had dinner, so he had missed the opportunity there, and now they were at a well known romantic spot for some birthday cocktails, as the sun set over the horizon. Oikawa had made his way to the bathroom, and it had given Iwaizumi a bit of time to think through what his plan could be. He could ask him here and now, or he could ask him on their stroll down the beach later.  _

_ He didn’t have very long to consider before his boyfriend came bounding back over to him. “Iwa-chan!” He called, full of joy. “Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan!” He repeated, and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes as he looked over at him, expectantly. “Iwa-chan!” He said once more, earning himself a rough nudge from Iwaizumi. “So mean, Iwa-chan!” He whined, catching himself so he didn’t fall. _

_ “Shut up, Shittykawa.” He said, seemingly angry, but smiling anyway. The two sat themselves at a booth that looked out over the beach, and Iwaizumi wrapped his arm around Oikawa, pulling him in closer. Oikawa looked over at him and smiled. “Stop staring at me and watch the sunset.” Iwaizumi insisted, and Oikawa sighed but obliged, as his boyfriend held him tightly. The two sat quietly, sipping their cocktails as the sky slowly started to get darker. _

_ Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi again, and smiled softly. “Iwa-chan?” _

_ “What do you want now?” _

_ Oikawa smiled softly. “Why did you plan all this?” He questioned, curiously. “I mean, you know I don’t really like my birthday. So why plan specifically for today?” _

_ Iwaizumi sighed, “Do I need a reason to do something nice for you?” Oikawa glared at him suspiciously, and Iwaizumi glared back at him, before looking back over the beach. “I missed you, okay?” He admitted, quietly. _

_ “Awh! Iwa-chan! So sweet!” Oikawa teased loudly, hugging Iwaizumi tightly whilst the latter tried to push him off. _

_ “Stop making a scene, asshole.” Iwaizumi grunted as he pushed Oikawa away by his face, both of them laughing as he did. The two settled and locked eyes as Iwaizumi’s hand stayed rested on Oikawa’s cheek, holding it gently, and the setter leaned into the touch. “I really did miss you, Tooru.” He said softly.  _

_ Oikawa smiled gently at him. “I missed you too, Iwa-chan.” He gripped Iwaizumi’s hand and pulled it down from his cheek. “Can I ask you a question, Haji?” Oikawa asked, seeming serious all of a sudden.  _

_ “Can I ask you something first?” This was it. This was the moment. It was now or never. Oikawa nodded, as Iwaizumi pulled his hands away from his boyfriend’s, and reached into his pocket, pulling out the small black box, and Oikawa’s eyes widened. _

_ “Iwa-chan-“ He started, before being interrupted. _

_ “Just shut up for a sec, okay?” Oikawa mimicked a zip across his lips. “Look, you’ve been in my life for the past 21 years. I can’t remember a day I didn’t want to be with you.” Iwaizumi chuckled at himself as he fiddled with the box in his hand. “God, this is so cheesy. Tooru, I have always loved you. I remember the first time I realised it. We were 14 and you were overworking yourself to prove to yourself that you were good enough, and I realised that I never wanted you to feel like you’re not enough. You are. Everything about you is enough. With you, I could never ask for more. You put your all into everything you do, and it shows. You’re passionate, you’re caring, and I love you more than anything. It was 9 months ago today that I told I was gonna marry you, and I plan to keep that promise.” He opened the box, and Oikawa smiled as he looked at the titanium ring with three studded diamonds displayed in the middle. “Tooru, will you marry me?” _

_ “Iwa-chan-” Oikawa started, his smile wide, and his eyes welling up. “Yes.” He responded, simply. _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “Yes. I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll marry you. I love you, Haji.” Iwaizumi took the ring out of the box, and placed it onto Oikawa’s finger, then he raised one of his hands and placed his knuckle under Oikawa’s chin, tilting his head back up again so their eyes met. And then Iwaizumi kissed him. He just leant in and pressed their lips together. Oikawa pressed just as roughly back into the kiss, because no matter how much he kissed Iwaizumi, he always wanted more. He wanted more of Iwaizumi’s tongue in his mouth, more of that earthy taste that belongs just to him, more of that stubble burn that happened when Iwaizumi hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. Oikawa pushed his tongue into Iwaizumi’s mouth, and while he couldn’t hear Iwaizumi groan, he could feel the vibration of the noise against his lips, and Iwaizumi’s breath brushed across his face. _

_ Oikawa pulled back first, leaning his forehead against Iwaizumi’s. The two both kept their eyes closed, but they were smiling wide. “I love you, Tooru.” _

_ “I love you too, Haji.” _

***

The buzz of Iwaizumi’s phone woke him from the sleep he had drifted off into. “Hello?” He mumbled into the phone, without even looking who had called.

“Iwa-channnn!” The voice at the other end of the line called out to him, and Iwaizumi sighed deeply. “I’m... sorry… Haji…” He said slowly, as if he was trying to make sure his words came out clearly. “I was… out of line…” Iwaizumi stayed quiet, allowing Oikawa to say what he wanted to. “I ‘cused you… of… a bad bad thing… that I know… you din’ do…” It was painful listening to a pitiful, drunk apology, but he knew Oikawa was honest when he was drunk, so he didn’t interrupt him. Not once. “You are… best person Haji… I don’t deser’ you… you deser’ better… I’ll be better… promise.” He stopped, as if he was finished.

“Are you done?” Iwaizumi asked after a few moments of silence, and Oikawa hummed to signify a yes. “Tooru. You need to stop this. Okay?”

“But Iwa-”

“Shut up and let me talk.” Iwaizumi interrupted. “I told you, I need time to figure out who I am outside of you. My entire identity is built around  _ your  _ fragile ego. Can you  _ please _ do as I ask and give me some damn space? We can still have dinner on Wednesday, but around that, give me time, okay?” Iwaizumi awaited Oikawa’s acknowledgement, but it didn’t come. “Tooru?” His question was met with a bang against the floor, assumingly a sleeping Oikawa dropping his phone, but he heard the same sound come from near the front window. He sighed, hung up the phone, and placed a blanket from the cupboard folded on the back of the couch. As he opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, he was met with exactly what he expected, a drunk Oikawa fast asleep on one of the wicker armchairs that sat on their front porch. He picked up his husband's phone, put it in his back pocket, and scooped him up - carrying him as if he was a large baby. He brought him into the house, placed him onto the couch, then draped the blanket over him, placing his phone on the coffee table afterwards.

Iwaizumi sat on the armchair closest to the head of the sofa, leaning forward, just watching Oikawa sleep peacefully. “I love you so much.” He whispered. “Why do you have to be like this?” He asked, fully aware he wouldn’t get a response. “You make it all so hard.” He sighed. Iwaizumi sat there in silence, watching his husband sleep, for a while, before heading to bed himself. He resisted the urge to kiss Oikawa before going to bed, and lay staring at the ceiling for just a few minutes before drifting back to sleep.

***

_ “Daddy!!” A small voice called, causing Iwaizumi to jolt up in bed as a small body landed on him. “Happy Birthday Daddy!” The small voice practically shouted in excitement. “Me and papa made pancakes. C’mon before they’re cold.” She insisted, and Iwaizumi chuckled at the pure excitement. _

_ “Okay, okay. Calm down Sakura.” He responded softly, lifting her as he stood up. “Let’s go and have breakfast.” The little girl in his arms practically squealed with joy when he said that. “Papa, we’re coming.” Iwaizumi called down the stairs to his husband. “I reaaallly hope the kitchen isn’t in a state, or papa is gonna have to spend all afternoon cleaning until it’s spotless.” _

_ Breakfast was chaotic. The kitchen was a mess as Iwaizumi had suspected, and Sakura was loud; happy, but loud. Iwaizumi always enjoyed his birthday though - it was the one day a year that his husband and daughter didn’t allow him to raise a finger. He could actually relax. Oikawa would cook and clean everything, and Sakura would attempt to give him shoulder massages - learning the techniques that he had taught her. _

_ They were content. They lived a peaceful life; Oikawa had retired when they adopted their daughter, and since Iwaizumi didn’t have to work anymore so he was flexible with his hours and enjoyed his job more now. They lived the ideal life they had always planned to have. And they were finally happy now that they did. _

***

Iwaizumi’s eyes snapped open when his alarm went off at 5am. He groaned as he hit snooze and rolled over for an additional 10 minutes of sleep. He really needed it this morning. After the stunt Oikawa had pulled last night, showing up outside, drunk, at 2am, he was exhausted. And that dream. The dream that he had had a hundred times before, back before he and Oikawa had separated. The dream that he always wished to be a reality. He hadn’t had it for weeks, and it was upsetting to have it now - now that he wasn’t sure how things would work out for them. He had almost made up his mind to stay with the guy, but after showing up like that when Iwaizumi was  _ perfectly clear _ that he needed some space, and just a bit of time, he wasn’t sure again. Oikawa needed to learn to respect his boundaries, and if he couldn’t do that, then maybe they wouldn’t work out.

As his alarm sounded for the second time, Iwaizumi hit the off switch and rolled out of bed, grunting as he did so. He made his way to the bathroom for a nice, hot shower. His body felt stiff. He did not feel ready for training that morning, but he knew he had no choice other than to go. He wasn’t one to call in sick, and he didn’t want to be here when Oikawa eventually woke up - he would rather be anywhere else. So he sucked it up, had a long hot shower to try to relax his muscles, and took three deep breaths - trying to keep his mind at ease. His anxiety had gotten worse in the past few weeks, now that he felt like he was on his own again. But the independence also felt good. It felt like something he needed to become the best version of himself.

He snuck out of the house, past the sleeping Oikawa, and quietly closed the door behind him, hoping that he would be gone by the time he finished work so that a confrontation didn’t happen. Iwaizumi’s head was pounding. His entire body hurt, and he felt like shit. Today was going to be a tough one for him, and the last thing he needed was to have another argument with his husband. So he left him there; fast asleep. And he went to work with the hopes that there would be few issues so that he could also spend some time in the gym - obviously coming down when he was needed, but exercising on his own otherwise.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ball went up in the air, and Atsumu followed swiftly, a flawless service ace. His landing was less than flawless though. As his right foot touched the floor, his leg collapsed beneath him; knee slamming against the wood, and an unintended screech of pain leaving the setters mouth. “Shit.” Iwaizumi commented, as he raced out of the weights room, and down to the gym below. He couldn’t have taken more than thirty seconds to get there, but by the time he entered the room, Atsumu was already surrounded by his teammates checking to see if he was alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look I’ve had a bad night, I needed to write. Please enjoy this chapter even if it’s not great 💖

“Good morning, sunshine!” Atsumu beamed as he handed Iwaizumi a cup of coffee. “It’s your favourite.” He specified as Iwaizumi took the take-out cup off him. “Black with two sugars.” The setter grinned as Iwa took a sip and nodded in approval at the drink that was handed to him.

“Thank you.” He said quietly, as he looked across the gym where Kageyama and Hinata were already practicing their serves. “They’re here early.” He pointed out. Practice didn’t start for another half an hour, and the pair had clearly been here a while as they would have warmed up and stretched beforehand. Atsumu glanced over to the two, then looked back at Iwaizumi, slight concern crossing his face that Iwaizumi picked up on without looking back at him. “Why are you staring at me like that?” He questioned.

Atsumu quickly turned himself so he was looking over the court. “Sorry.” He spoke softly, and Iwaizumi gave him a sideways glance. “You seem down this morning.” The setter observed. “Is everything okay?”

Iwaizumi sighed, and started into an explanation of what had happened the night before. How he had run into Oikawa at this party, and it had calmed his nerves. How the two of them held hands and lay under the stars, and it had felt like that nervous high school romance again. How Oikawa had accused him of an ongoing affair, and he left the party after that. And how his husband had shown up at his house, completely wasted, and he’d carried him to the couch to sleep it off. He mentioned that Oikawa was still there now, and that he was hoping the guy would be gone by the time he got home later. He briefly considered mentioning the dream of their domestic family life, but he decided against it as he could tell that Atsumu didn’t like being at the other end of Iwaizumi’s rants regarding his husband, so he tried to avoid it if possible. “Sorry. I’m not sure why I just told you all of that…” He confessed, sheepishly, and Atsumu slapped him on the back, insisting it was fine, before turning to the locker rooms to get into gear for practice.

It felt nice not having to worry too much about the team. They all took good care of themselves; stretching properly before and after practice, coming to see Iwaizumi whenever they had any pains that seemed concerning, and just generally keeping themselves healthy. None of them smoked, none of them drank frequently, and they were all early to practice for a proper warm up before the day began. Iwaizumi leant against the wall behind him and sighed, then took a sip of the coffee Atsumu had got for him. The guy seemed to have gotten himself into the position where the team permanently hazed him - which was a shame for him - but at the end of the day, they still all had his back, and he had theirs. In his six years of being qualified for this job, Iwaizumi had never met a team as unified as this one. It was a surprise as they had all come from different teams, and had only started to work together in the last few weeks, but they all helped each other here; pushed one another to be better. And there were no petty rivalries over the starting lineup - they all knew that not all of them would end up playing, but they all showed up anyway because that's what a team does.

Practice was going smoothly when Iwaizumi excused himself to go to the weights room. It was only up a floor, and the room had a glass-paned wall that overlooked the court, so he could keep an eye on them all as he worked out himself. It wasn’t the most professional thing to do - leaving the team like that - but Coach Hibarida had no problems with it as the team was performing well, and if there were any issues he knew Iwaizumi would bolt back down in an instant.

Iwaizumi got himself a small station set up so he could see out of the window easily, and he could hear the team shouting. It was actually quite a good spot to watch them all, and he could see any subtle pained winces from this angle. They were playing well - doing a rotational practice where they would play 6vs6, and the remaining members of the team would work on their serves. It was on Miya’s fourth consecutive serve that Iwaizumi first thought he noticed something wrong. As he had landed, his right foot touched the ground first, and he stumbled slightly. Iwaizumi perched forward, watching him intensely. He didn’t seem to slow down at all, so he shrugged it off as just a stumble - but he kept watching. He thought that keeping an eye on him would be better than losing his attention, and not being able to get to him in time. Atsumu’s fifth serve came up quickly, and Iwaizumi made the decision that if he stumbled again, he would go down and interfere, stopping him before he did any serious damage.

The ball went up in the air, and Atsumu followed swiftly, a flawless service ace. His landing was less than flawless though. As his right foot touched the floor, his leg collapsed beneath him; knee slamming against the wood, and an unintended screech of pain leaving the setters mouth. “Shit.” Iwaizumi commented, as he raced out of the weights room, and down to the gym below. He couldn’t have taken more than thirty seconds to get there, but by the time he entered the room, Atsumu was already surrounded by his teammates checking to see if he was alright. The moment Hibarida spotted the athletic trainer, he got the team to disperse and go and practice serves on the other side of the gym. 

Iwaizumi knelt down next to Atsumu, who had his pained knee curled into him, fingers interlocked around it and his head leant against it slightly. His other leg was stretched out on the floor in front of him. Iwaizumi placed his hand gently on the setter's shoulder, causing him to look up. The sight was heart-breaking. There were tears streaming down his cheeks, and his eyes weren’t sad, they were scared. “Can you let go of your knee so I can take a look please?” Iwaizumi asked softly, trying to stay as professional as possible.

Atsumu sniffed and nodded. “I messed up.” He said quietly as he let go of his knee, and placed his hands on the floor behind him.

“What do you mean?” Iwaizumi asked, as he gently grasped Atsumu’s knee, causing him to wince in pain. “Sorry.” He said, as he adopted a gentler touch.

The setter looked up at the ceiling, not wanting to look at Iwaizumis face as the athletic trainer realised the extent of the damage. “It started hurting pretty badly last week.” He confessed. “But I just tried to push through it.” Tears were falling from his eyes again. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” He questioned, as he felt the pain shooting through his knee every time Iwaizumi moved it slightly. “I’m not going to be able to keep playing, am I?” He still refused to look at Iwaizumi, as he could feel his eyes on him.

“Atsumu.” Iwaizumi said, with no acknowledgement or reaction from the setter. He then placed his hand so it cupped the side of Atsumu’s face, fingers placed in such a way on the back of his head that he could tilt it forward to force eye contact. “You’ve got this, okay?” He said seriously, and Atsumu looked down at his knee where Iwaizumi’s other hand was still placed. He leant forward slightly to let his forehead touch against Iwaizumi’s - who allowed the contact as the guy was in pain and clearly terrified of not being able to play again. His eyes were closed, so Iwiazumi was using this opportunity to scan his face for any small pained reactions up close. “You’re gonna be okay, we just have to get you sorted.” Iwaizumi confirmed.

“I’ll be able to keep playing?” Atsumu asked, softly.

Iwaizumi nodded slightly, trying not to disturb the comfortable position the injured team member had got himself into. “You’ll need to take at least 4 weeks off, and we’ll need to get you an xray and an ultrasound to be sure. But yeah, you’ll be able to play again.” He confirmed, and a shaky sigh of relief left the setter, as he opened his eyes to meet Iwaizumi’s.

“Thank you.” He said, voice quiet, and still filled with fear. Iwaizumi smiled slightly and nodded once, then pulled his head back to look up at the coach who had been standing to one side, letting Iwaizumi do his job.

“Can you call an ambulance? Tell them that we have a team member with severe Patellar Tendonitis, and he’ll need an xray to check for any possible damage to the kneecap, as well as an ultrasound to determine soft tissue or tendon damage?” Hibarida nodded, and called as soon as Iwaizumi had requested. “Can you walk?” Iwaizumi asked, looking back at him. “With my support, I mean.” He clarified.

Atsumu sniffed again, and attempted to stand, Iwaizumi moving at the same time as him to keep the support balanced. He stood up, no problem, leaning most of his weight onto Iwaizumi. He tried to take a step, and his leg collapsed beneath him again, but this time Iwaizumi caught him and scooped him up - prepared to carry him to the ambulance. “Sorry.” Atsumu said, sheepishly, as he blushed at the embarrassment that he couldn't even walk himself right now. “I hope I’m not too heavy.”

Iwaizumi chuckled slightly. “You’re about 10 kilos lighter than Oikawa. I'll be fine.” He confirmed, and a slight wave of sadness came across Atsumu. He had pretty much come to terms with the fact that there was no place in Iwaizumi’s heart for anyone other than Tooru Oikawa, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when he compared the two of them. He felt selfish for thinking it, but it made him feel like he was just a placeholder until the pair was back together, and then Iwaizumi probably wouldn’t talk to him again - which he didn’t want at all. 

The gym door behind Iwaizumi slammed shut, and he turned around, Atsumu in his arms, expecting a team of paramedics to be stood there. What he wasn’t expecting was his husband to be stood there, with a look of pain riddled across his face. The slam of the door had already caught the attention of the rest of the team, and everyone was looking over, trying to figure out from a distance who the tall brunette stood at the entrance of the gym was. “Tooru? What are you doing here?” Iwaizumi questioned, a slight anger in his tone.

Oikawa scoffed, as if Iwaizumi was completely out of line to ask that. “What am  _ I  _ doing? What the hell are  _ you  _ doing?” He demanded, loud enough that the rest of the team could hear what he was saying. 

Iwaizumi sighed, and walked to the side of the gym, placing Atsumu down on the bench. “Sorry. I’ll be back.” He confirmed, before storming towards Oikawa, a look of fury in his eyes, grabbing the setter by the wrist, and dragging him out of the gym and down the hall to his office. “What the fuck are you playing at, Shittykawa?” He snapped as soon as he had closed his door behind them. “You can’t just show up at my workplace, and start an argument in front of all of my colleagues like you're accusing me of something.” He yelled, pissed off that he felt like he had any right to be here after everything he said and did the previous night.

“Well how do you think I feel here?” Oikawa asked. “I came by to bring you your wallet - that you dropped on the front porch by the way - and I see you sat on the floor with  _ him _ . Your forehead against his the  _ same way  _ you did with me when I got injured. The same way you still do after we kiss.” Oikawa welled up slightly. “Hajime. I need you to be honest with me,  _ please _ .” It pained Oikawa to ask, but he was sure he was right, so he felt the need to keep asking. “Does he have  _ anything  _ to do with the divorce?”

A look of hurt and disbelief displayed itself on Iwaizumi’s face once again. “Why is it that every  _ single  _ time I start to think about forgiving you, about ripping up the papers and letting you back in, you go and do or say something that makes me never want to look at you again?” Oikawa tilted his head in slight confusion at his husband. He obviously had no idea the amount of times Iwaizumi had considered taking him back these past three days, so he was completely lost. “Tooru, I said to Makki and Mattsun at the start of all this that there was no way I could do this if you were here. And when you showed back up on Thursday night, I thought that was it. I thought all this mess was going to be over.” Iwaizumi was clearly angry. He walked to the couch on the left-hand side of the office and sat himself down, exhaling deeply as he did. “But if you’re going to keep  _ accusing  _ me of stuff, I can’t be around you. I didn’t even meet Miya until the day  _ after  _ the papers reached you.” Oikawa sat down next to him, still looking over at him, paying close attention to his words. “I told you two days ago that I needed some space. That I needed some time to figure out who I am now. And you agreed to give me that space. But, Tooru,” Iwaizumi grabbed his husband's hand. “Since you got back, I have seen you every day. Don’t be mistaken, I love seeing you. And I’ve missed you like crazy. And, honestly, all I want to do is tell you to come home.”

“So why don’t you?” Oikawa interrupted, and Iwaizumi glared at him for doing so.

“I can’t ask you to come home until I figure out if it’s what I really want, or if I would just be doing it because I know it would make you happy. I need to start doing things for me again. And in order to figure this type of thing out, I need you to give me space. Please.” Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa’s hand as he requested time apart yet again. He was really hoping this time it would get through to him.

Oikawa sighed. “Okay.” He responded simply. “How much time do you want?”

That was a loaded question, and Iwaizumi wasn’t sure what the answer was. “We’re still on for Wednesday, right?” Oikawa nodded. “Okay, give me space to think until then. And we’ll take it from there?.”

“Until Wednesday.” Oikawa stated. “I can do until Wednesday.” He confirmed, and Iwaizumi smiled softly at him. 

Their conversation was cut short by a knock at the door letting Iwaizumi know that the ambulance for Atsumu was here. Iwaizumi said goodbye to Oikawa the same way Oikawa had said goodbye to him on Friday morning - a lingering kiss on the forehead. He got halfway out the door, and turned back. “I’ll talk to you on Wednesday, okay?” Oikawa nodded, and then Iwaizumi disappeared from sight.

Oikawa sat on the uncomfortable couch, alone. He knew he hadn’t been the best at listening to what Iwa-Chan had wanted, but he was surprised to learn that there had been a few times his husband had considered stopping all of this. That was good. That was a step in the right direction. And of course it was him that had fucked it up each time. He hadn’t done a good job at respecting Iwaizumi’s wishes, so it was no surprise that that had pissed him off. Oikawa was smart enough to realise that.

He sat in silence for around 15 minutes when there was a knock at the office door. “Sorry, Iwaizumi isn’t in here.” He called out, hoping that wouldn’t raise too many questions. The office door pushed open, and Oikawa was surprised to see the familiar face that came into view. “Tobio-chan? What are you doing here?” 

Kageyama smiled at the taller setter. “Oikawa-san. I thought that was you. How are you?” He asked as he closed the door behind him and took a seat on the other side of the room.

“I’m fine.” Oikawa responded, sharply. “What are you doing here?” He repeated.

“I’m starting setter on the Japanese team. What are you doing here?” He asked in response.

Oikawa scoffed, and looked away from Kageyama. “I came to see Iwa-Chan, of course.” He responded as if it should have been obvious.

“I thought you two didn’t talk much anymore?”

“What gave you that idea?”

“On his first day, Iwaizumi-san said he didn’t really speak to you that much anymore.” Kageyama stated flatly. “How are things going in Argentina?”

Oikawa glared at him. He was proud of how far Kageyama had come, but he still didn’t like him very much. “Argentina is fine.” He sighed. “But it’s not home.” He added, quietly.

“Oikawa-san, why did you look so angry at Iwaizumi-san when you came into the gym?” A genuinely curious question. Kageyama was a brilliant setter, and he was a genius on the court, but when it came to social cues, that’s where he fell behind.

Oikawa decided to be honest. He planned to have a formal press conference about it once Iwaizumi had made up his mind, but he couldn’t see that harm in talking to Kageyama about it now. “I didn’t like seeing someone else in his arms.” He confessed, and Kageyama tilted his head in confusion. “Everyone knows that me and Iwa-Chan dated at the end of high school, but most people assume that once I moved to Argentina, we broke up. We didn’t. We never did.”

“But didn’t Iwaizumi-san get married?”

A chuckle left Oikawa’s lips as he held up his left hand, displaying a ring that matched Iwaizumi’s. “Yep. We got married.”

The realisation washed over Kageyama. “Oh. Well congratulations.” He smiled. “Wait… but… at dinner, he said he had filed for divorce?”

Oikawa huffed and leant back. “I don’t even know why I’m talking to  _ you  _ of all people about this.” He ran his fingers through his hair, and exhaled deeply. “I broke my promise to him. More than once. And I accused him of some stuff that I know he didn’t do. That he wouldn’t do. I’ve just been an asshole. I deserve a lot worse than this.” Kageyama sat quietly after Oikawa finished speaking, causing the latter to glare over at him, expectantly. “Are you gonna say  _ anything _ ? Or are you just gonna sit there?” He pushed.

“I don’t really know what to say.” Kageyama admitted. “I don’t really get it. The only thing I really know about relationships is what I have with Hinata. And I know that I’ve kept every promise I’ve made to him. So I just don’t really get it.” He said honestly. And Oikawa looked at him, slightly surprised.

“Every promise?”

“Yeah.” Kageyama said, as if it should be obvious. “If you love someone, you’d do anything for them, right?” He didn’t give Oikawa the opportunity to respond before he stood up to leave. “I’m glad to know you’re fine, Oikawa-san.” He smiled, then turned and left without saying another word. It was a shock to think that someone like Kageyama had a better grasp on romantic relationships than he did. He sat alone for a little while, pondering everything that Kageyama had said, as well as thinking about what Iwaizumi wanted from him. Giving him the space he asked for was probably a good idea, but that didn’t mean he wanted to.

***

Iwaizumi got home late. He had stayed at the hospital with Atsumu to make sure he was alright - to make sure he was right when he had told him he would need 4 weeks off but that he’d be able to play again. But the injury was a lot worse than any of them had initially thought. It was going to have to be 10 weeks off from any sort of strenuous activity - only short walks, and physiotherapy. Iwaizumi dumped his keys and his phone on the coffee table as he made his way to the kitchen, sighing to himself as he did. He was angry at Atsumu for overworking himself; for not talking to him when he was first in pain. But he was relieved that the damage wasn’t permanent. Luckily for Atsumu, he knew how to take care of someone with this exact injury - he had done it before.

This felt stupid. Iwaizumi held a beer in his hand. He had gone almost a month without a sip of alcohol until the previous night, and now here he was, reaching for it again. But it had been a hard day for him. Tooru had definitely gotten the wrong idea when he saw Iwaizumi taking care of Atsumu. And Atsumu was a dumbass for letting himself get injured like that. But he seemed to finally get through to his husband, so at least that was a win.

He sat on the deck and breathed in the fresh evening air. It was nice. It felt relaxing. This was the calmest he had felt in a long time, and he wanted the feeling to last. Sure, he was concerned that Miya wouldn’t take care of himself, and his marriage still wasn’t recovered, but the night was nice, so he could let himself relax. There was a small forest behind the house, and the sound of the trees rushing in the breeze was relaxing. 

It had been months since Iwaizumi had last fallen asleep outside, but he did that night. It wasn’t too cold, and the outdoors cleared his head.

Iwaizumi slept well that night. For the first time in weeks. And it felt good. The entire team had been given the next day off after Atsumu’s injury, so he didn’t need to set an alarm. He could just sleep. It was a nice feeling - the restfulness. The ability to finally relax.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s date time!
> 
> This is one of a two part chapter, and I hope you enjoy it :)

Oikawa pretty much stayed in his room for the entire of Monday and Tuesday. It wasn’t because he wanted to stay there, it was more a case of he didn’t want to accidentally run into Iwaizumi. He was trying to respect his request and give him space, but it had been so hard. Knowing that his husband was only an eight and a half minute drive away, but he couldn’t go to him hurt like hell. What was worse was he knew he had been helping Miya with his injury. He believed Iwaizumi when he told him that Atsumu had nothing to do with the papers, but the way Miya had blushed when Iwaizumi told him he’d be right back, the way he was looking at Iwaizumi when he was carrying him in his arms, the way he leant his forehead against Iwaizumi’s clearly for comfort when he was examining his leg. Atsumu clearly was romantically interested in Iwaizumi, so even though he did trust his husband, he far from trusted this guy to not try something. 

When Wednesday afternoon eventually hit, Oikawa couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He sent Iwaizumi a small text just to confirm their plans for the evening:

_ >> Hey Iwa-chan. Happy for me to pick you up at 7 still? _

_ << Yeah. Don’t be late. _

_ >> I won’t be :) _

He was ready to leave before 6, so he wasted some time messing with his hair - there wasn’t much else he could do in a suit in a hotel room. He set off way too early, and was parked outside of their house by 6:40pm. He decided to give Iwaizumi a bit of time before letting him know he was there, so he sat and scrolled through his phone for fifteen minutes before calling Iwaizumi to let him know he was here. “Iwa-channn!” He called as his partner answered the phone.

“Hey, are you on your way?” Iwaizumi asked, it was clear in his voice that he was fed up - as if he’d had a difficult day.

Oikawa smiled at hearing his voice - he had missed him. “I’ve actually been outside a while. Come out when you’re ready?”

“Oh.” The surprise made it obvious that he wasn’t expecting Oikawa to be early. “I’ll be out in a sec.” He confirmed before hanging up.

Iwaizumi looked amazing. As he came out the door, Oikawa felt awe struck. He was wearing a dark grey suit, with a white shirt and a matching tie. He’d also gotten himself a haircut and had a shave. Oikawa got out of the car and walked round to the passenger side to greet him as he came down the pathway from their house. “Hey.” He said as he smiled softly at his husband. “You look really good.”

Iwaizumi smiled back at him, and automatically reached out to fix Oikawa’s slightly askew tie - as if by habit. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” He stated as he smoothed the tie against Oikawa’s shirt, and looked up at him, hand now resting on Oikawa’s chest. They shared a small moment of content eye contact, before Oikawa reached over and opened the door to the passenger side of the car. “Thank you.” Iwaizumi stated simply as he got in, the door closing behind him. Oikawa felt a sudden wave of nerves wash over him as he walked around the car to the drivers side. Yes, he and Iwaizumi had been married for over five years now, but this was the first proper date they had been on in a long time, and it was almost like he had forgotten how to do this.

They were both relatively quiet on the way to the restaurant - the nerves were getting the best of both of them, and neither of them knew what to say. They exchanged small talk about how their days had been and how the weather had been warm lately, but that was all that was said. 

As the restaurant was only a few minutes away, and the traffic was quiet, they arrived at the restaurant almost half an hour early, so they parked a little further away so they could stroll through the city on the way. As they walked side by side in silence, the backs of their fingers kept brushing against each other. “Iwa-chan?” Oikawa broke the silence.

“Hm?” Iwaizumi responded, looking up at the tall buildings that surrounded them. He never really paid attention to it, but they were all so much bigger here than in Miyagi.

“Would it be okay if I held your hand?” Oikawa asked sheepishly.

Iwaizumi looked over at him slightly shocked, then chuckled to himself, intertwining his fingers with the setters. “I’m still your husband. You don’t need to ask permission for that, dumbass.” He smirked as Oikawa’s face flushed and he looked away.

“Iwa-chan. So mean.” He complained, squeezing Iwaizumi’s hand gently as he did. They walked a little further, moving past a nervous ambiance to a content one. Oikawa stopped in his tracks as they reached the restaurant, and Iwaizumi turned to him, a slight look of confusion on his face.

“Why are you stopping?” He questioned.

“So, I don’t have to ask to hold your hand?” Oikawa asked, wanting confirmation before his next question.

Iwaizumi smiled. “No. You don’t.”

Oikawa smiled and took a half step closer to Iwaizumi, whose back was already pretty much against the wall. “So, what if…” He started, moving slowly closer still. “What if I wanted to kiss you?” He was now standing less than a breath away from his husband, who’s cheeks turned a slight pink at the question.

“I guess that would be okay too.” Iwaizumi responded, heart thumping against his chest.

The taller of the pair smirked as he leant down and planted a teasing kiss on Iwaizumi’s neck, kissing up slowly until he reached his partner's ear, then he whispered quietly into it. “And what if I wanted to do more than just kiss you?”

This type of talk from Oikawa always made Iwaizumi nervous. It was the only time he would seem like the controlling one of the pair. And, honestly, having the setter act this way made Iwaizumi weak. He gulped, and it pulled a small chuckle from Oikawa who had gone back to kissing the athletic trainers neck. “Well,” Iwaizumi spoke, voice slightly shaky, “I guess we’ll have to see how dinner goes.” He said, as he gently pushed Oikawa back, indicating that he should stop - which he did. Oikawa looked a little surprised by his husband's response, which Iwaizumi used to his advantage, pulling Oikawa down slightly by his tie and kissing him. Only slightly. Just enough for Iwaizumi to regain the upper hand in this game they seemed to be playing. As the shorter of the pair pulled back, he smirked and winked at his husband, then turned to enter the restaurant, looking back over his shoulder only for a second to see briefly how Oikawa’s eyes were following him.

The two were seated almost as soon as they entered the restaurant. It was the same table they had been seated at on their first date in the area - at Oikawa’s special request. As they sat and looked at the menu, there was just one thing that kept racing around Iwaizumi’s mind. Oikawa had never acted as a couple in public before now. At least, not in Japan or Argentina. There was that week in California where he had been full of PDA’s, but whenever they were anywhere that people would know who he is, Oikawa always kept the touching to a minimum. Until just now. On the street outside of this restaurant. In full view of everyone.

“What’s on your mind?” Oikawa interrupted his train of thought as he touched Iwaizumi’s hand that was halfway across the table. “You’ve been mumbling to yourself for the past five minutes. I had to order your drink for you.” Iwaizumi hadn’t realised he had been zoned out that long, and he was slightly embarrassed that he had been, but there was no harm in telling Oikawa what he was thinking. It was the only way he’d get an answer.

Iwaizumi sighed. “What was that? Outside I mean?”

The setter looked at him confused. “I thought it was flirting?” He responded honestly, unsure what Iwaizumi could have meant.

“No. I know that. I mean, aren’t you worried someone will get a story about you from it?” He whispered slightly as he asked. “You weren’t exactly subtle.”

Oikawa chuckled and shrugged slightly. “If people see, they see.” He responded, nonchalantly. “If they decide to make a big deal out of it, that’s their choice, you know?”

Everything Oikawa was saying just confused Iwaizumi more. It’s like his thoughts on the whole thing flipped completely in the past four weeks. “Where's that coming from?” Iwaizumi’s tone became almost defensive, as if he was suddenly feeling the anger of Oikawa hiding their relationship away for years, just to change his tune now. He pulled his hand back so that Oikawa was no longer holding it, and the taller of the two looked at him, confusion written all over his face. “Why the hell are you suddenly changing your thoughts on this?” He whisper-yelled at the one sitting across from him. “What? For five years you push my whole feelings of it aside, and now that I’ve asked for a divorce you can just be carefree about it?”

“Iwa-chan, it doesn’t matter anymore. I just want to show you that I love you. I don’t care who knows.”

“No.” Iwaizumi stated firmly. “You can’t risk your career just to win me back, Tooru. Because if a scandal happens, and you can’t play…” He paused, and sighed deeply. “Tooru, if you aren’t able to play because of  _ me _ , I know you’ll grow to resent me.”

“Iwa- chan thats-”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t think you will. I know you will. So don’t say it doesn’t matter when it does.” Concern was written all over Iwaizumi’s face, and Oikawa chuckled slightly. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Do you want to know why it doesn’t matter anymore? Or would you like to keep ranting?” Oikawa asked, and Iwaizumi glared at him, now completely baffled. “I already quit Haji.” Iwaizumi’s eyes widened and Oikawa continued. “I didn’t go to practice at all after I got the papers. Not a single day. Then Makki came to visit. And he and Mattsun bought me a ticket home. Hajime, everyday in that three week space, I considered coming home - just getting on the next plane and leaving that whole life behind. But that ticket solidified the decision for me. And I did it properly. I bought myself out of the contract, and I said goodbye to the team. I also put the apartment up for sale.” He reached his hand further down the table and gripped hold of Iwaizumi’s hand, pulling back to the middle so that they were both reaching the same distance. “I came home on my own accord because if I don’t have you… Iwa-chan, if I don’t have you, none of it is worth it anymore.”

Iwaizumi didn’t have a chance to respond before the waiter returned with their dinks and took their order. Oikawa ordered lasagna, and Iwaizumi ordered chicken and mushroom risotto. As the waiter walked away, Iwaizumi looked back at Oikawa. “So… you’re back for good then?”

“I am.”

“Where are you staying since I kicked you out?”

“Hotel Met East.” Oikawa confirmed. “It’s actually really nice. There’s not much to do though.”

Iwaizumi nodded as Oikawa went into detail on how all the gym equipment was at least a decade old, but how it all held up better than a lot of the new stuff he had seen. He then went off on a tangent about how a dumbbell had broken in his hand in Argentina once and it had thrown off his balance so much that he fell and made a dent in the floor.

It was overall a pleasant evening for both of them. Oikawa learnt about how Iwaizumi’s new job was going, and it was actually interesting to him how his husband could tell just from looking at how someone moves if they had an existing injury, or if they had just recovered from one. It was a surprise that there were four people on the Japanese official team that had injuries on his first day. And Iwaizumi told him how the rehab for Atsumu was going, and how the exercises were similar to the one’s Oikawa still had to do to this day. “I really hope you don’t give him the same sort of massages you used to give me.” Oikawa joked in a slightly spiteful way.

Iwaizumi chose to ignore the tone in his voice and smiled at Oikawa. “Don’t worry.” He confirmed. “You’re the only one I give those massages to.”

Oikawa chose to take the flirtatious route to try and pull a flush from the one sitting across from him. “Give?” He teased. “Does that mean there are more to come?” Iwaizumi didn’t blush as Oikawa had expected. Instead he pushed himself forward so that he was leaning into his husband's ear.

“Play your cards right and there will be a lot more to come.” He smirked as he leant back in his chair, watching Oikawa fidget and bite his bottom lip.

“Fuck, Haji.” He spoke quietly. “You can’t tease me like that in a place like this.” Iwaizumi chuckled, and his tongue shot out and licked his bottom lip, which just made Oikawa twitch even more. “Stop it.” He said in a low, and serious tone. “If you don’t, you’ll cause me to do something that will get us  _ both  _ kicked out.” Iwaizumi laughed again.

“Oh really?” Iwaizumi teased. “And what would that be?” He smirked, and Oikawa closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, trying to calm himself.

He requested the bill, and paid as Iwaizumi went to the bathroom, then waited for his husband in the restaurant lobby. His heart still raced when he saw Iwaizumi, the same way it had on their first date. Of all of the people Oikawa had met in his life, no one could pull a reaction from him the way Iwaizumi did. He stood and smiled as the man he had married walked over to him. “Shall we get out of here?” Oikawa asked as he placed his hands on Iwaizumi’s hips and pulled him in closer “Maybe go somewhere for dessert?” He leant down and planted a soft kiss on Iwaizumi’s cheek, pulling a soft hum from the shorter of the two.

“What did you have in mind?” Iwaizumi asked as he allowed Oikawa to slowly guide him out of the restaurant.

“I may have an idea or two.” He smiled as the two walked outside, arm around one another. They were so lost in one another that they barely noticed the rain that was starting to get heavier. It was only when they were running back to the car, getting soaked by the late summer downpour that they even realised. It had been raining in the first place. They laughed together as they ran, remembering when they were younger. Remembering times they used to run home from high school in the spring rain when they forgot their umbrellas. The kisses they stole in the alleyways as they got drenched, trying to hide themselves from prying eyes. 

They got into the car, still giggling to themselves, and Oikawa looked over at Iwaizumi from the driver's seat, happy to see the smile plastered across his face. “Why are you staring at me?” Iwaizumi questioned, still smiling, now locking eyes with his husband.

“I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.” He answered truthfully. “Iwa-chan. I want to come home.”

Iwaizumi’s smile dropped - only slightly, but enough for Oikawa to notice. “Tooru. I-“

“Come one. We had a good tie tonight, right? Why can’t I come home.”

“I-“ Iwaizumi started, sighing deeply before he continued. “It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” Oikawa pleaded. “Don’t you love me anymore?” His voice broke slightly as he asked, and the sound of it broke Iwaizumi’s heart.

“Of course I love you.” Iwaizumi responded. “But I’ve explained this to you already, Oikawa.” He stressed. “I just need time.”

“Do you still want to be with me?”

“Yes.”

“Then what is there left to think about?”

Iwaizumi scoffed slightly. “How don’t you get it? I need to know the me I am  _ outside of you _ .” He expressed to Oikawa yet again. “Can you take me home please?” He asked as he turned and looked out the front window.

Oikawa sighed. “Okay.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can probably tell I didn’t proof read this but here is part 2 of the date chapter :)

Iwaizumi was silent on the drive back to the house that they once shared. He was angry that Oikawa had tried to push him like that when he knew that Iwaizumi needed some time. What was worse was he didn’t even seem remotely sorry for it. They pulled up and Iwaizumi got out without even saying goodbye, which caused Oikawa to fumble out of the car after him.

“Iwa-chan, please.” He begged as he jogged up the pathway and stopped in front of his husband, reaching his arms out to block the path. 

“Get out of the way, asshole.” Iwaizumi demanded, trying to push his way past the taller man in front of him. “I just want this day to be over. Will you just move?” Oikawa took a step closer to him and he responded by shoving him away, and the setter looked at him, offended by the action.

He scoffed. “You don’t need to resort to violence, Iwa-Chan.” He complained.

Iwaizumi chuckled to himself and shook his head. “You’re a real piece of work, you know?” He said accusingly. “I don’t get what part of ‘I need some time’ is so difficult for you to understand?”

“It’s not that I don’t get it. I just don’t like the idea of losing you.” Oikawa explained. “You said yourself that you still want to be with me, so why are you pushing me away?”

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi started before being interrupted.

“No. Don’t start with your shitty explanations Hajime.” His tone changed suddenly, and it caught Iwaizumi’s attention. “Tonight was going really well. I know you were having as much of a good time as I was. But the moment I started talking about going back to normal - about doing something that might actually let us work on this - the  _ second _ I brought that up, your entire tone changed. It’s like you want the flirting and the dates, but you don’t actually want ‘us’.” Oikawa ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, taking a step out of Iwaizumi’s way. “If you want to go without actually having a  _ real  _ conversation about us tonight, I won’t stop you. But Iwa-chan, we have to have the hard part sometime. If you still want this. It’s unavoidable.”

Iwaizumi shook his head and walked past Oikawa, leaving the setter in the front garden as he let himself into the house that was once theirs. Oikawa squatted down and planted his head into his hands. He had finally had the courage to tell Iwaizumi what he was thinking, and he had blown it. He was fully aware he had been too harsh, and obviously it had bitten him in the ass. At least, he thought it had. Until the front door behind him opened about three minutes later; he turned his head and a small smile crept onto his face seeing his husband stood there, now lacking a blazer with his shirt sleeves rolled up. 

“You're still here.” He stated simply.

“I’m still here.” Oikawa responded gently.

After a deep sigh, Iwaizumi stepped to the side, displaying a pathway into the house. “Come on then.” He gestured, and Oikawa looked at him, confused. “I should at least make you a cup of tea as a thank you for dinner.” Oikawa stood and smiled at his husband, who rolled his eyes and walked out of view into the house, leaving the door open for Oikawa to let himself in.

The setter did just that, and as he closed the door, Iwaizumi called out to him from the kitchen. “I don’t keep any Chai tea when you’re not home. I usually stock up before you come back, but I didn’t know you were coming home this time and I haven’t been to the store since the start of last week, so I hope regular tea is okay for you.”

Oikawa sat himself at the breakfast bar. “Regular tea is fine thanks.” He said, watching Iwaizumi as he moved around the kitchen naturally, turning on the faucet to wash the few dishes that were in the sink after he put the kettle on the stove. “Iwa-Chan?”

“Yeah?”

“I understand that you need space and time, I do, but why can’t I move back in?” Iwaizumi tutted and slammed a cup onto the draining rack, like he was sick of the question. “Just hear me out. I don’t mean the same as it was. I’ll stay in the guest room. I’ll give you privacy whenever you ask for it. I just want to be home.” Iwaizumi didn’t respond to what Oikawa said, he just finished the dishes in silence, made Oikawa a cup of tea, and then went upstairs. 

He was gone for a while before Oikawa came to the conclusion that his husband wasn’t coming back down. He briefly considered leaving, but he didn’t want to - not without talking to him at least. He waited a little longer, and finished his tea, then made his way upstairs, hovering outside of Iwaizumi’s room for a few seconds, then knocking on the door softly. “Iwa-chan?” He waited, not wanting to go in without Iwaizumi saying it’s alright, but his husband didn’t respond.

Oikawa placed his hand on the door handle and went to open it, before stopping himself; the last thing he wanted to do was piss Iwaizumi off even more. “Iwa-chan?” He asked again. “I know you can hear me. Can you let me in please?” After a few more seconds of silence, Iwaizumi opened the door, now wearing just a pair of grey sweat pants. Anger was written across his face, but Oikawa looked him up and down and couldn’t help but smirk, causing Iwaizumi to glare at him and push his shoulder back as he tried to get the smile of Oikawa’s face.

“Stop grinning at me like that, Shittykawa.”

“I can’t help it.” Oikawa chuckled slightly and bit his bottom lip. “You look really good. It just sets off a reaction in me when I see you like this.” Iwaizumi blushed slightly as his husband spoke, but frowned a little more, then went to close the door on Oikawa, but the setter placed his hand against it, stopping Iwaizumi before he had the chance to do so. “Wait, Iwa-chan. Please.”

Iwaizumi sighed, but walked back into the room and sat on the bed. “You’ve already made what you want very clear. But do you even know what I want?”

“Yeah.” Oikawa confirmed. “You want space.”

“But do you understand why?”

Oikawa looked at him softly. “Of course I do.” He said, taking a seat on the bed next to his husband. “You told me on Saturday, and again tonight. You want to figure out who you are outside of me.”

“Exactly.” Iwaizumi responded, a little surprised that Oikawa had actually listened to him. “How am I supposed to do that when you won’t leave me alone long enough for me to even start to figure it out?” Oikawa chuckled slightly, which just set Iwaizumi off even more. “Why do you keep laughing whenever I try and tell you what I’m feeling? You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Iwa-chan, you already know exactly who you are.” Oikawa started. “Or, at least I do.”

“Care to enlighten me then? Because I seem to be no one outside of you. And I hate the idea of that.” Iwaizumi was now standing again, pacing around the room as he spoke. “If we’re at a party, we’re Oikawa, and Oikawa’s plus one. When people meet up with me, before they even say ‘Hey’ they ask ‘Where’s Oikawa?’. I’m only seen as an  _ extension  _ of you. Can you even comprehend how that feels?” Iwaizumi was clearly upset, and Oikawa stood; grabbing him by the shoulders to stop him pacing.

“Iwaizumi Hajime, you are the smartest, funniest, bravest, most handsome, most amazing person that I have  _ ever _ had the pleasure of meeting in my entire life. Anyone that sees you as just an extension of me is an idiot because, Iwa-Chan, you are so much of an inspiration to me that  _ I  _ base how I live my life on the motto ‘What Would Hajime Do?’.” Oikawa sighed at the fact that Iwaizumi’s face hadn’t changed, and let go of his shoulders, reaching to rub the back of his neck nervously. “I’m sorry. I know you just need a bit of time to figure things out for yourself. I need to be more patient.” Oikawa turned to leave, looking back at Iwaizumi softly as he put his hand on the door handle, and smiled gently. “I’ll give you your space. Just give me a call when you want me to come home.” And with that, Oikawa left. Leaving Iwaizumi standing there, looking at the door his husband just left out of, and thinking about what he had just said. The fact that Oikawa had said all of that nice stuff, and then left meant that he wasn’t just saying it to butter him up - he actually meant it. 

Iwaizumi flopped backwards onto his bed and sighed deeply. “Damn it, Shittykawa.” Three words he felt like he had said to himself too many times in the last month. “Every time I think I know what you’re about to do, you do the opposite.” He stared at the ceiling, thinking about how Oikawa had finally agreed to leave him alone for now, and how he didn’t even want that anymore. He thought he had wanted it. Right up until Oikawa so calmly agreed. Then he realised he just wanted to feel home again - and he only truly felt home in Oikawa’s arms. He drifted off gently, head full of thoughts about what he was going to do - how and when he was going to talk to his husband about coming home. Because he wanted him home. He wanted him back. He just wanted him. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Get your shit together, asshole.” Matsukawa whispered angrily so that Hanamaki wouldn’t hear. “You wanna save your marriage?” Oikawa nodded. “Then fucking do something about it. Make it clear your here to stay.”
> 
> \- Mattsun is sick of their shit

“Good Morning sleepy head!” Matsukawa grinned as Iwaizumi opened his eyes to the soft slap of Hanamaki’s hand against his cheek, and pushed his friend's hand away, then looked between the two of them, curious as to why they were at his house so early in the morning. Iwaizumi sat up and rubbed his eyes, then took the take-out cup of coffee that was handed to him, and before he had the chance to ask any questions, Makki continued speaking. “We wanted to check in, see how you’re doing?”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow as he sipped his coffee. “Both of you? Together?” He questioned. “What’s with the visit? You could have just called.” He pointed out, still sleepily sipping his coffee between questions.

Matsukawa sat himself on the bed next to Iwaizumi, and placed his hand on his back, bringing Iwaizumi’s full attention to him. “We came because Oikawa called me. He told me you guys had an argument last night, and that he’s ‘left the ball in your court’ - whatever that means - and he asked us to keep an eye on you for the time being.” Iwaizumi stayed silent, and took another sip of his coffee, then sighed deeply before standing and walking over to the ensuite, turning the shower on, and shouting back out to the pair.

“I don’t need you to look after me, please go so I can shower!” He stuck just his head around the doorway. “It’s nice that you guys care, but I’m honestly fine. I just need to sort my head out before I let him back in, you know?” Hanamaki practically bounced with excitement when Iwaizumi said that, and he realised that he hadn’t actually told them that he was considering staying with Oikawa yet, because he hadn’t actually been sure until last night. “Don’t tell him I said that.” Iwaizumi jumped on his own defense, and Matsukawa smirked at him.

“Wait, wait.” Hanamaki pulled the room's attention to himself, wanting to clarify what was happening. “So are you staying with him then?” Both Matsukawa and Hanamaki starred at him as he ran his hand through his hair and chuckled to himself.

Iwaizumi disappeared back into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. “I still don’t know what I want.” He called back through to the pair as he stepped into the shower, fully aware the two of them would still be sitting in his room when he got out of the shower. Hanamaki said something back to him, but he couldn’t quite make it out over the sound of the shower, so he just immersed himself in the beat of the water hitting the floor.

The bathroom had completely steamed up by the time Iwaizumi stepped out of the shower, meaning he either had the shower extremely hot, or he was in there longer than usual - he didn’t know which as he had been entirely lost in his thoughts. He wrapped a towel around his waist, and wiped a streak in the mirror with the palm of his hand, staring at himself for a few seconds before sighing deeply and grabbing a hand towel to rub his hair dry. Oikawa had always insisted that Iwaizumi blow dry his hair as it made it feel softer, but this was easier. He let the towel rest over his shoulders as he left the bathroom, nodding at Hanamaki and Matsukawa as he re-entered his room, fully aware that they wouldn’t have left yet. The two of them stared at him as he pulled a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt out of his dresser. He glanced over his shoulder to see the two of them staring. “What?” He questioned.

Hanamaki grinned, “Me and Oikawa share notes sometimes and it turns out he is extremely honest about everything so far. I wanna see if  _ everything  _ was true.”

Matsukawa glared at Makki. “What do you mean you ‘share notes’?”

“Don’t worry, I still love you. But apparently ‘Iwa-Chan’ is packing, so I’m curious.” The openness of the pair always baffled Iwaizumi, they always said exactly what was on their mind and still they rarely argued. They just accepted each other's honesty at face value.

“Iwa-Chan’s packin’, huh?” Matsukawa asked, directed at Iwaizumi now.

They both stared at him, expectantly, and he shook his head and laughed. “I’m not getting it out, assholes.” He commented, throwing the towel that was over his shoulder at Matsukawa who was laying sideways on his bed, Hanamaki sitting behind him. “Why are you both still here?” Iwaizumi asked as he pulled some underwear on underneath the towel, then pulled it off from around his waist, dumping it on the floor at the foot of the bed. He then pulled on his jeans and the t-shirt, and shooed the pair off the bed so he could make it. “Go downstairs. I’ll make you both some breakfast once I’ve tidied up in here?”

“Never refuse free food!” Hanamaki jumped at the offer, dragging Matsukawa out of the room with him. Matsukawa usually wasn’t one to be pulled around, but he would follow Hanamaki anywhere - and there was a beauty in that that Iwaizumi appreciated every time he saw them.

Iwaizumi sighed deeply as he sat on the end of the newly made bed. He held his phone in his hands, toying with the idea of texting Oikawa and asking him to dinner, or maybe just asking him why he told their two oldest friends to keep an eye on him. Before he had the opportunity to send anything, an unexpected text came through to him. From Atsumu:

_ <<Hey Haji! This may be completely inappropriate so I’m sorry if it is, but do you want to join me for dinner tonight? There’s a small bistro that just opened up in town and I managed to make a reservation for 6:30. Let me know? :) _

It came as a shock, Atsumu asking him out. Obviously he knew the guy liked him, but having him actually ask him out was surprising to say the least. Iwaizumi thought about saying no - he wasn’t romantically interested in Atsumu in the least - but he wanted to explore his options. He didn’t want to be dictated by the  _ thought _ of Oikawa. He wanted to feel free, even if it was just for one night. 

_ >>Yeah, I’m free tonight. Pick me up on the way? _

_ <<I will! See you later. _

Iwaizumi smiled to himself slightly. It actually felt good to do something without worrying what Oikawa would think. He felt a twinge of guilt though; he knew how Atsumu felt about him, so saying yes was almost like leading him on - he would have to make it clear when he was picked up that it wasn’t a date. It was just two work friends going for dinner. That was it. He was still married, and he still loved Oikawa, so that’s all it could be. 

He headed downstairs, a small smile still on his face, and Hanamaki picked up on it. “What are you grinning about, huh?” Iwaizumi dropped his face to a scowl.

“Shut up.” He insisted. “It’s nothing.” He headed to the stove, pulling out a pan, and grabbed a few eggs from the basket on the side. “Omelette?” He asked, and the pair agreed, then glanced at each other; almost as if they were having a telepathic conversation about Iwaizumi. “Can you please stop doing that psychic thing you guys do?” He requested, not having to look at them to know they were doing it. “If you have something to say, just say it.”

Matsukawa sighed. “What happened in the two minutes you were up there alone?” He pressed. “We were on the phone to Oikawa, so you haven’t spoken to him.”

Iwaizumi was sick of this. He was sick of being monitored all the time. He was angry Oikawa had basically sent their friends to spy on him. It wasn’t fair and he was tired of it. “Why the fuck is it anything to do with either of you?” He snapped, turning to face the pair. “In case you forgot, I am capable of taking care of myself. I’m a grown ass man, I don’t need you watching me all the time. And I don’t need you reporting my every move to Trashykawa.” He rubbed his temple as the vein in his forehead pulsed. “I can’t do this if he’s going to try and dictate my every move.” The two stayed silent, looking at Iwaizumi, confused - waiting for him to elaborate. “Can you guys just leave please?” He gestured to the door.

“What?” Hanamaki questioned. “Why?”

“Just go.” Iwaizumi insisted, leaving the room himself, in hopes that when he returned, they’d be gone.

“Wait, Iwaizumi.” Matsukawa followed him, leaving Hanamaki to go wait in the car as he tried to talk some sense into their friend who just seemed to be struggling right now. “Talk to me. What happened?”

Iwaizumi sighed deeply. “I’m just sick of everything I do being dictated by what Oikawa may think.”

“Okay, but what specifically set that train of thought? Because you were fine. And then you suddenly weren’t.” Matsukawa observed.

“I-” He started, slightly hesitant. “I may have made date-like plans for tonight.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, knowing that his friend was still fully supportive of Oikawa, whilst trying to support him too. 

Matsukawa was visibly shocked by this, but he tried to shake off the surprise. “Why?” He asked sincerely. “And with who?” He seemed slightly annoyed by the fact that Iwaizumi made these plans.

“Why? Because I was asked and I wanted a change of pace so I said yes. With who? Just someone from work.” Matsukawa glared at him slightly. “What?”

“Is it this Miya guy?”

“How do you even know about that?” 

“Oikawa told us he kissed you.”

Iwaizumi and Matsukawa argued slightly about the date-like plans made by Iwaizumi for that night, Mattsun was saying that it was wrong of him, and Iwa was arguing that what he did was none of his business anyway. They left on a sour note, and Iwaizumi was fully aware that his friends wouldn’t keep this from Oikawa, but he didn’t care anymore. He was done tiptoeing around what Tooru wanted, it wasn’t fair to him and he knew it. But he was still slightly concerned how his husband would react. He would just have to wait and see. All he could do now was wait.

***

“What the fuck do you mean he has a date with Atsumu?” Oikawa asked angrily as Matsukawa handed him a bottle of beer. “I knew I couldn’t trust that guy around Iwa-Chan.” He leant against the wall behind him as he drank half the beer he was just handed in one gulp. “What am I gonna do?” He asked, sincerely. “I can’t just  _ let  _ this happen.”

Oikawa ran his fingers through his hair, and Makki spoke up. “You can't really do anything about it…” He said cautiously, and Oikawa glared at him, as if to say ‘what the fuck’. “Well think about it.” He started to explain. “If Iwaizumi said he’s doing this because he wants to do something without your dictation, and then you show up and try to stop him, it’ll just drive him further away.” That made sense, but the last thing he wanted to do was just leave it.

“What if…” Oikawa started before being interrupted.

“Absolutely not.” Matsukawa started. “You’re not gonna go spy on him. No.” He insisted, and Oikawa looked at the floor, slightly ashamed of himself for even thinking it. “Besides, if he were to catch you, you’d be done for.” He was right.

“Can we invite him?” Hanamaki asked Matsukawa, feeling sympathy for the guy. “I know it was supposed to be just us, but if we leave him alone, he might do something stupid.”

Oikawa looked between the two of them, confused. Mattsun ignored his presence. “Hiro, really?” He asked. “We’ve not had a proper date in ages. I was looking forward to it being just us.”

“Please.” Makki begged “I really don’t think he should be alone.”

“Fine.” Matsukawa folded and turned to Oikawa. “There’s a new bistro opening in town. We’re going tonight. Reservations are at 7. Do you want to join us?”

“Oh.” Oikawa was slightly surprised by the invitation. “Thanks for the invite, but i don’t think-”

“Come on, Oikawa.” Makki started. “You need something to do right?”

“I appreciate the invite. I do. But I don’t wanna be your third wheel.” He admitted. “I’ll just go clean the house as a surprise for him, and I’ll wait there for him to make sure he gets home safely.”

Makki and Mattsun looked at him, a slight disappointment in him rested on both of their faces. “Oikawa, you can’t just sit in there and wait.”

“It's my house too. I can go there whenever I want.” He argued. “Besides, he’ll probably be happy to see me.”

The two continued to stare at him, waiting for him to process what he had just said. “You do realise that you guys are separated, right?” Makki reminded him. “You can’t just keep showing up, it’ll just piss him off more. And you’ll just push him away. This isn’t the way to do things.”

“And what if he invites Atsumu in? How awkward would that make it if you were there?” Mattsun added, creating a scowl on Oikawa’s face.

“That’s exactly why I need to be there.” Oikawa explained. “If he invites Miya in and I’m not there, the guy might try something.” He was clearly nervous about the possibility of Iwaizumi actually  _ liking  _ someone else, and Makki felt sympathetic for him, so he invited him to stay at theirs for the time being instead of a hotel, an offer that he graciously accepted.

The three of them spent the afternoon in the garden. Mattsun and Makki stayed almost completely sober, but Oikawa drank quite a bit. He was trying to bury his feelings because there was nothing he could do and he knew that. Oikawa stumbled inside and fell asleep on the couch. Makki covered him with a blanket before going for a shower and getting himself ready for his dinner date.

Mattsun was ready first, and he sat on the armchair near Oikawa, looking at him pitifully for a few minutes. After feeling a considerable amount of sympathy for him, a small wave of anger rushed over him - he was pissed off about the way Oikawa was dealing with everything. He needed to get his shit together and show Iwaizumi he was back to stay. And that he didn’t plan on giving up. He yanked the blanket of Oikawa, causing it to pull him off the sofa, and he awoke when he smacked the floor. “What the fuck Mattsun?” he whined as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Get your shit together, asshole.” Matsukawa whispered angrily so that Hanamaki wouldn’t hear. “You wanna save your marriage?” Oikawa nodded. “Then fucking do something about it. Make it clear your here to stay.”

“How am I supposed to do that other than just telling him?”

“It’s your house too, right?” Matsukawa started. “So make that obvious. Put some pictures in there. Decorate a bit. Put your clothes back in the dresser. Show him that you plan on getting him back and coming home. Make yourself clear, dumbass.”

“O- Okay…” Oikawa agreed, before Makki appeared around the corner, and Matsukawa straightened himself out, walking over to Hanamaki, kissing him on the cheek softly.

“You ready?” He asked, as Makki watched Oikawa pick himself up off the floor.

“Yeah…” He responded hesitantly, “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Matsukawa smiled at him, one hand rested on Hanamaki’s waist. “Oikawa just rolled off the couch - he drinks too much.” Makki giggled slightly at that. “Come on, we’ll be late.” Hanamaki nodded, glancing over at Oikawa once more, and saying goodbye. As he left the room, Matsukawa looked back at Oikawa, and whispered to him again “Sort your shit. You can’t stay here forever.” Oikawa nodded and he left.

Oikawa sat on the couch and listened to the car drive off. Mattsun had a point, he should make it clear that he was there to stay. So he planned to do just that while Iwaizumi was out. After all, it was his house too. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then it suddenly wasn’t Atsumu with him anymore, it was Oikawa looming above him, looking down at him hungrily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really like this chapter - it really hits hard with the whole “both to blame” thing

Iwaizumi was nervous again. He’d rather be going to this opening with Oikawa, but Oikawa didn’t ask him. Atsumu did. He knew how Atsumu felt, and he knew he didn’t feel the same. And the guilt that sat with him for saying yes was overwhelming, but he didn’t want to cancel. Because he actually enjoyed Miya’s company, despite the fact that the guy was constantly flirting, he was still nice to talk to. 

It reached 6 before Iwaizumi even had time to think, and he was only just ready when Atsumu honked his horn to let him know he was outside. Iwaizumi waved at him through the window, then took another look at himself in the mirror, feeling slight shame in himself for knowing that by the end of the night all he would have succeeded at would be causing pain to both Atsumu and Oikawa. This isn’t what he wanted to happen, he just wanted to feel free but instead he had attached this weighted guilt to himself and all he could do was press through the evening. 

As Iwaizumi got into the car, Atsumu’s face lit up. “Hey.” He smiled at the athletic trainer. “You look good. Is that a new suit?”

“It is.” Iwaizumi confirmed, not wanting to tell the guy that he had bought it for his date with his husband the previous night - he thought that would just be cruel. “You look good too.” Iwaizumi complimented in return, giving the beaming setter a small smile, then sighing, fully aware of what he had to clarify straight away. “You know this can’t be a date right? I’m still married. And I love my husband.”

Atsumu looked a little disappointed, but he nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He confirmed. “Just two friends having dinner.” He noticed that Iwaizumi was wearing his ring this time, unlike the previous week - suggesting that he had started to make up with Oikawa, which dampened Atsumu’s spirits slightly, but he had expected that this would happen at some point. Iwaizumi wasn’t available, and any moments they had shared together had just been that - moments.

“Sorry.” Iwaizumi apologised honestly, he felt bad.

“What for?” Miya asked, his face lighting up once again. “Being your friend is more than enough for me.” Iwaizumi smiled at that. It was nice that he was so understanding and forgiving of the situation. They exchanged small talk on the way to the bistro, and Iwaizumi laughed at the stories Atsumu told about his time with the Black Jackals; how they had constantly teased him, and how he was always the butt end of their jokes. It had gone from awkward to comfortable so quickly, and it reminded Iwaizumi of how things used to be with Oikawa. He felt guilty for comparing the two, but Atsumu was so similar to how Oikawa used to be that it was difficult to not think about it.

The two of them were seated quickly as their table was ready when they got there. The waiter took their drink orders, and The two settled down, looking over the menus for the options they had. It all seemed like standard bistro food, and so the pair fell into a gentle flow of conversation. “So, you went out with Oikawa last night, right?” Atsumu asked, clearly curious to know if it went well or not.

“Yeah.” Iwaizumi confirmed. “It went really well, right up until the moment he asked to move back in.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“Of course I want him home.” Iwaizumi said, as if that should be obvious. “I want nothing more than to call him right now, and tell him that I’m done with this divorce thing, and that he should come home.”

“So why don’t you?” Miya was genuinely curious why Iwaizumi would keep the guy at a distance if he wanted him home that badly.

Iwaizumi sighed. “I can’t just forgive him and let him back in.” He started. “I need to figure myself out first, and until I do that, I have to keep him at arm's length. If I just fold and forgive him, I know I’ll get hurt again.” The waiter put their drinks down, and walked away to give them a few more minutes with the menu. “I have to protect myself here.” He explained, and Atsumu understood.

As a courtesy to the fact that Iwaizumi was clearly upset, Atsumu changed the topic to work. He asked questions about his injury and the best ways to rehab himself - things that Iwaizumi had helped with during working hours already but he hadn’t taken note of. And Iwaizumi was more than calm about the fact that he had to repeat himself, he was extremely patient when it came to helping with injuries. He had seen first hand how much a game-stopping injury could affect a players mental state, so he was careful with how he approached it with each person.

The two of them ordered not too long later, and shortly after ordering Iwaizumi noticed a familiar pair sitting not far from them, and he felt a rush of anger as he realised that their reservation was suspiciously close to his - this had Oikawa written all over it. His mood had clearly changed, and Atsumu noticed. He glanced over his shoulder to the table that Iwaizumi kept glaring at. “Are you okay?” He asked, unsure why Iwaizumi’s mood had changed so suddenly.

“I’m fine.” Iwaizumi insisted. “I think they’re following me.” He gestured to the pair, and Atsumu looked at him, confused by what he meant. 

“Why? Do you know them?” He questioned curiously.

“Yeah.” Iwaizumi confirmed. “Oikawa sent them to keep tabs on me this morning, and it’s just a little suspicious that they’re now here.” He then went on to explain the details of the argument that happened the previous night, and how those two had been there that morning. How Matsukawa and Hanamaki were against him agreeing to go out tonight with Atsumu, but how he refused to let that stop him. How Oikawa had sent the pair to  _ ‘keep an eye on him’ _ while Iwaizumi decides what he wants to do.

“Wait, wait.” Atsumu stopped him mid sentence, “So your husband that you’re separated from basically got your friends to be ‘secret agents’ to report your doings back to him?” Iwaizumi nodded. “That’s fucked up.” He said, bluntly.

Iwaizumi smiled slightly, it felt good to have someone agree with him on this. “Thank you!” He chuckled. “They seem to think there’s nothing wrong with it, and it’s just Oikawa trying to keep me safe or whatever. But I can look after myself.” Iwaizumi emphasised as he leant back in his chair. “I’ve basically lived alone for the majority of the last five years. I’m clearly capable of doing things without Oikawa and his damn spy team, so why can’t they just leave me to do things on my own?”

It was obviously a rhetorical question, but Atsumu chose to joke with him. “Hmmm. Maybe it’s because they know you’ll end up going out with me?” He laughed at his own comment; Iwaizumi’s face lightening up at the sound. 

“Do you think I should go tell them to stop?” He asked curiously.

Atsumu glanced over at them again, then looked back at the one sitting across from him. “They’re honestly not bothering me, so it's up to you.” He smiled at Iwaizumi as the latter glanced over at the pair yet again. “It’s clearly getting to you,” Atsumu observed, “You should say something if it’s that much of a distraction.”

It was only when he said that that Iwaizumi realised how shifted his focus had been since he realised they were here, and he suddenly felt guilty. This was quite possibly what they wanted to happen - to distract his focus - and he had just allowed himself to be consumed by their mere presence. In reality, neither of them had even looked their way since they had sat down, so maybe he wasn’t the reason they were here. “Sorry.” Iwaizumi apologised, sheepishly. “It’s not fair to you that I’m getting this distracted. I don’t even think they’ve realised we’re here.” He admitted. “Enough about them. Tell me something about you. Tell me about your family; what’re they like?”

Atsumu smiled, it was nice to start talking about something that wasn’t Oikawa for once. He told Iwaizumi all about his family. About how his parents were always supportive of him. How they came to all of his high school games - and travelled all the way to nationals every year to see him play. He then went on to talk about his brother - how he had been excellent at volleyball but quit after high school because he didn’t have a passion for it the same way Atsumu did.

“You have a brother?” Iwaizumi asked, curiously. It was a slight surprise as he had never mentioned him before.

“Yeah.” Miya responded. “He’s actually my twin. We see each other weekly. But he’s not that interesting so I don’t really bring him up to anyone. Unless they ask, that is.” Iwaizumi smiled and Atsumu went into detail about how much his brother - Osamu - seemed to hate him sometimes, but how when he needed him, he would always be there. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but feel a little envious of the relationship that Atsumu described. Sure, he had siblings, but his sister was seven years older and his brother was ten years younger than him, so he never developed that type of bond with either of them. “What about you?” Atsumu asked after he told a few stories from his childhood. “What’s your family like?”

“Well,” Iwaizumi started. “My dad is a recording engineer for a studio that's not too far from here, he really loves it. And my sister is a designer in Tokyo. My brother is still in high school, and I haven’t spoken to him for a while, but last time I did he wanted to play soccer professionally.” He paused briefly, looking at his glass and spinning it slowly on the table.

“And your mom?” Atsumu asked, wondering why she hadn’t been mentioned and if she was still in the picture. 

Hajime sighed, then smiled softly - a slight pain residing in his eyes. “My mom was the best person I knew. She wanted to be a chef, but gave that up when my brother was born to look after us instead. She loved the three of us more than anything.” His eyes started to water slightly. “Just over four years ago, she was in an accident. She didn’t make it.” His voice cracked as he tried to choke back any tears that formed at the memory of hearing that news. “Sorry.” He said quietly. “Thinking about her still hurts, so I avoid it when I can.” 

A soft look of guilt displayed itself on Atsumu’s face. “I’m sorry.” He said gently. “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine.” Iwaizumi interrupted. “Can we just talk about something else?” He requested, and Atsumu obliged, diving into a new topic instantly - asking questions about when Iwa decided he wanted to go into physiotherapy and athletic training, pulling his thoughts as far from the pain as he could.

Their food came out not much later, and the pair didn’t speak much as they ate, but they enjoyed the comfortability of one another’s company. And they drank. More than they should have. Enough that they were both too drunk to drive either of them back so they instead took a cab. Back to Atsumu’s place.

They stood there in Atsumu’s garden, swaying slightly and staring at one another. “Do you…” He hesitated slightly. “Do you wanna come in for another drink?” Iwaizumi smiled and nodded at the request, but stayed quiet as he tended to do when he was drunk - in order to avoid saying anything that he’d regret. The pair stumbled in through the front door, giggling about everything and nothing as they stumbled in over one another, their hearts already racing and the alcohol fully absorbed into their systems.

Everything seemed to happen in a blur, Atsumu poured them both another drink - something strong - as Iwaizumi shrugged off his jacket, taking the drink out of his hand and drinking it in one, eagerly looking at Atsumu in the eyes as he smirked at the look of surprise and slight pride on the taller setters face. He then took the glass out of Iwaizumi’s hands and placed it down on the side, downing his own while he was at it. He then cupped Iwaizumi’s cheeks in his hands, smiling at him, and Iwaizumi gripped Atsumu’s shirt lightly. “Hajime, can I-”. 

“You really need to stop asking.” Iwaizumi insisted as he pulled Atsumu in, kissing him intensely as he pushed Iwaizumi backwards against the wall the moment he fell into it.

He slowly guided Iwaizumi towards the stairs, the latter allowing him to lead the way as they tripped up every few steps, trying to make their way towards Atsumu’s room, managing to enter his bedroom whilst catching each other’s lips and skin and Iwaizumi kicked the door closed behind them, shutting the pair in and giving them a sense of privacy and seclusion that they so desperately seemed to want. Atsumu didn’t waste another second tearing Iwaizumi’s already slightly unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders and tossing it carelessly on the floor, Iwaizumi almost falling backwards with the movement but balancing himself by gripping onto Atsumu’s shirt and slamming the taller against the door. He pulled Atsumu’s shirt off of him, planting kisses on the hot skin of his neck, nibbling and sucking his way up until their lips met in another drunken but passion filled kiss, melting into one another yet again.

Atsumu broke the kiss in favour of pushing them both away from the door but holding Iwaizumi close as they staggered towards the bed, slight giggles bouncing between the kisses they were giving each other. Iwaizumi’s legs hit the bedframe and he fell clumsily onto the mattress, pulling Atsumu down with him, leading the next moment being him pinned under the weight of the setter, who pushed himself up over him so that he was straddling his hips. “Are you sure about this?” Atsumu asked, knowing that Iwaizumi was just as intoxicated as he was, but wanting the confirmation so that neither of them was left with any regrets afterwards.

“Yes.” Iwaizumi spoke as he opened his eyes. He was having slight trouble focusing on Atsumu, but the weight on his hips was surprisingly familiar, and the shadow of the body shape on top of him looked the same as the one that had stared down at him a thousand times before. And then it suddenly wasn’t Atsumu with him anymore, it was Oikawa looming above him, looking down at him hungrily. Iwaizumi knew how much Oikawa had missed this, and how much he had missed it too, being able to touch his husband freely and to be touched in the same way; it didn’t compare to the times they had cyber-screwed before Iwaizumi filed for divorce. Or to the times he had thought about Oikawa as he jerked off late at night. Right now his mind was just here, seeing only Oikawa with him.

He launched himself forward to catch Atsumu’s lips, his head spinning in the process. But Atsumu fully welcomed the suddenness of it, delving deeper into the kiss when Iwaizumi slid his calloused hand up to support his back and hold him up. Atsumu angled his head so he could meet Iwaizumi’s mouth better - the same way Iwaizumi did when they kissed in his car - and he shifted his thighs on either side to settle more comfortably, kissing with a fervency that Iwaizumi hadn’t felt for quite some time. Refusing to let Iwaizumi do all the work, Atsumu clawed at his back, pushing into another mindlessly indulgent kiss, as well as snatching the opportunity to run his fingers up Iwaizumi’s well-toned stomach and chest, lighting up a spark of electricity between their bodies and Atsumu rutted against Iwaizumi’s groin, pulling a groan out of the athletic trainer.

“Wait, wait.” Iwaizumi whispered raspily, as Atsumu trailed kisses down his neck. “Wait.” He insisted slightly louder, as he pushed the one that was sitting on top of him back slightly. He smiled softly at him, still picturing Oikawa there instead. “I love you.” He said sloppily, pulling a confused look from Atsumu.

“What?” The setter asked, now completely baffled.

“I’ve missed you so much. I’ve wanted this since the day you came back.” Atsumu almost sobered up at the sound of Iwaizumi’s drunk confession, realising that Iwaizumi wasn’t here with him, he was here with Oikawa. His theory was solidified by what Iwaizumi said next. “I love you, Tooru.” He drifted off after he spoke, and Atsumu pushed himself up the moment he realised what Iwaizumi was thinking, grabbing the latter’s shirt and throwing it at him, causing him to jolt up, seemingly now wide awake. “What happened?” He slurred, clearly still drunk, but seeming more aware now than he was just moments ago.

“I think you should go.”

“Miya?” Iwaizumi questioned, squinting at him in the dark.

“Call your husband, Hajime.” Atsumu left the room, leaving Iwaizumi sat there on his bed, trying to piece together what had just happened. He recalled slight drunken kisses, but he was still too drunk to fully comprehend the situation. Instead of overthinking it, he took the setters advice, and left the house, stumbling to his home that was a mere 20 minute walk away. 

He got about halfway there before a car pulled up next to him. “Need a ride?” The familiar voice asked, and Iwaizumi smiled sweetly at him, nodding and almost falling into the vehicle. The car smelt the same way it always had. Like Oikawa. He leant his head back in his seat and closed his eyes. He was comfortable, and slowly drifted off in the passenger seat. 

Oikawa pulled to a gentle stop outside of their house. “Iwa-chan?” He shook him slightly in order to wake him. “You’re home.” He ran his hand gently through Iwaizumi’s hair, and allowed his hand to rest on his husband's cheek, Iwaizumi nuzzling his face into the touch. “Do you want some help getting to bed?” He asked, and Iwa nodded, eyes still closed. Oikawa got out of the car, and walked around to the other side, opening the passenger door, then scooping his partner up with ease, kicking the door closed behind him. Iwaizumi curled into Oikawa’s chest comfortably, and the setter looked down at him, a small smile appearing on his face. Iwaizumi was slightly flushed and looked adorable, and it made Oikawa feel weak. He would completely give in to all of his urges if he didn’t know Iwaizumi well enough to know that he hated having sex when he was drunk - he said something four years ago about liking to feel present when they fucked, so Oikawa would continue to respect that as he always had. 

With great difficulty, Oikawa finally got Iwaizumi to his - their - bed. He placed him down gently, then pulled his shoes off, followed by his socks, then pants, then shirt. He then tucked Iwaizumi in tightly under the duvet, sitting himself on the edge of the bed. He gently stroked Iwaizumi’s hair as he watched him sleep soundly. That was, until his attention was pulled to a bundle of small, red marks that displayed themselves at the base of his husband's neck, woring their way up to almost his ear. He sighed to himself as he realised what it was. “Why are you doing this to me, Haji?” He asked, quietly. “If you want it to be over, please just let me go. Just tell me so I can try to get over you.” He planted a kiss on Iwaizumi’s forehead. “I won’t give up on you. Not before you break my heart beyond repair.”

Oikawa stood to leave, only stopping when he felt a gentle tug on the back of his jeans. He turned to see Iwaizumi holding onto him. “Come home Tooru.” He said, his words still slurring. Oikawa removed Iwaizumi’s hand from his leg. 

“Ask me again when you’re sober.” Iwaizumi hummed slightly at the request, and rolled over, leaving Oikawa to let himself out as he had done every time he had been here recently.

He sat in his car, head against the steering wheel for a few minutes before driving off. He knew that Iwaizumi would wake up having forgotten most of the night that had just played out, but he didn’t want him to. He knew that Iwaizumi meant it when he asked him to come home. But that hickey that was recklessly placed on his neck suggested otherwise. He knew Iwaizumi would tell him anything he did that he remembered, but that didn’t guarantee that he would remember. It didn’t matter now anyway. He still loved Iwaizumi, and as long as he stayed honest, he’d still trust him too. It’s just the way it always was.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I only stopped because you said ‘I love you’.”
> 
> Iwaizumi’s eyes filled with a slight panic. “I- what?”
> 
> “You didn’t say it to me.” Everything he was saying was clearly just confusing Iwaizumi even more. “You thought I was Oikawa.” He clarified, and Iwaizumi instinctively looked down at his ring, realising that the memory of seeing Oikawa above him may have just been his brain scrambling the illusion of that moment with Atsumu.
> 
> “I- I should really call him.”
> 
> “You should.”

Iwaizumi was woken by the stench of himself. He stank of stale alcohol and sweat. He was surprised that he had somehow managed to make it home and get himself undressed and into bed, it wouldn’t have been a shock if he woke up on the front porch. The headache he had was intense, and the only thing he could think of was how much he needed a shower. Plodding over to the ensuite, he dropped his boxers and entered the bathroom completely nude, turning on the shower then looking at himself in the mirror. He even looked like he had drank too much. It was only then that he noticed the small trail of hickeys plastered up his neck. “Shit.” Iwaizumi said to himself, as he rubbed his hand against the bruises in a useless attempt to wipe them away. “What the fuck happened?” He asked himself as he massaged his temple, almost as if that would jog his memory.

The shower was cold, and uncomfortable, but he needed it cold when he woke up hungover - it was the only way he could feel refreshed again. It was safe to say he wasn’t in there long. Just long enough to clean the smell off himself and get his body feeling almost normal again. After, he sat on the end of his bed, trying to recall anything after dinner the previous night. He could remember being touched, and that first kiss in Atsumu’s hallway - the guilt of that singular moment weighed heavily on his conscience - and he remembered the feeling of being pinned beneath someone not too long after that. But he also distinctly remembered Oikawa looking down on him. And he could hear Oikawa’s voice in his head. But he couldn’t hear what it was saying. His only chance of remembering anything was talking to Atsumu. So he picked up the phone and called. No answer. He was likely still asleep, so Iwaizumi sent a text instead.

_ >>Hey, I hope you’re not feeling as trash as I am this morning. Do you remember anything from after the Bistro last night? Because I have massive gaps and I’m lost. Call me when you can? _

He then sat there, head in hands, trying to remember anything other than that one kiss. Trying to recall the words his husband had said. It was possible that Oikawa knew more than he did. But in case these marks on his neck weren’t caused by Oikawa, in case he had done something he was going to regret, he couldn’t risk letting his husband see until he knew the truth - until he knew what he was going to say.

Iwaizumi pulled on a black turtle neck jumper and a pair of jeans as his outfit for the day, wanting to hide the hickeys as best he could. He then made himself a coffee, and sat on the kitchen side, leaning his head back against the cabinets in the kitchen, glancing at his phone every so often as he awaited a response from Atsumu. Over an hour passed and no reply. Iwaizumi sighed to himself, picking up his phone and dialing. The phone rang twice before it was cut off, meaning the call was rejected, which just confused him more than anything else. He couldn’t remember anything, but clearly Atsumu could, and he was pissed about it. “What the fuck did I do?” He asked himself as he rubbed his forehead, trying to ignore the horrendous headache that was developing more with his increasing stress. 

The day passed by quickly, with Iwaizumi drifting in and out of sleep on the couch as some shitty sitcom played in the background. It was only at around 5pm that he finally felt awake, just in time for whoever had decided to knock on his door. But he was comfortable and didn’t want to get up. “Come in!” He called from the couch, and he heard the front door open, then close. “I’m in the lounge.” He clarified, as he heard footsteps make their way slowly down the hallway. “Last opening on the left.” He could tell that the guest was stopping by each room, so they likely hadn’t been in the house before.

“Hey.” The setter spoke, and Iwaizumi smiled as he came into view.

“Miya. Hey.” He responded. “Come in, sit anywhere.” Iwaizumi insisted, but Atsumu shook his head, and avoided eye contact.

“I’m not staying.” He confirmed. “I just came to fill in the gaps for you. What do you remember?”

“Oh. Okay.” Iwaizumi sat up slightly, trying to seem more alert even if he wasn’t. “So I remember leaving the bistro, then I remember you kissing me in the hallway. But after that it’s all just a blur. I have an image in my head of lying on the bed with Oikawa looking down at me, but he wasn’t here this morning so I’m not sure if that's real.” He admitted nervously. “Basically I just wanna know what you know.” Atsumu nodded then sighed. Iwaizumi could tell that whatever had happened had really impacted him, and the possibility of causing his friend pain caused the guilt he was already feeling. Atsumu stayed quiet for a few moments and avoided eye contact with Iwaizumi, which just solidified the idea that he had done something terrible. “Atsumu.” He urged, now desperate for any form of explanation. “What did I do?”

Atsumu looked up at him, pain and concern plastered on the athletic trainers face. The amount of regret he seemed to already be feeling about something he didn’t even know about yet made Atsumu not want to tell him. But that would just be more cruel than kind at this point. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to hang out alone anymore.” He said truthfully.

“What?” Iwaizumi seemed hurt by the suggestion. “Why?”

“Because the first time I kissed you, and your husband came home and saw us. Then last night…”

“What about last night? Atsumu I need you to tell me what I did because, for the life of me I can’t remember.” Atsumu glanced at Iwaizumi’s covered up neck, causing the guy to reach for it subconsciously. “Wait… did we..?” He started before being interrupted.

“No.” Atsumu confirmed, and Iwaizumi sighed with relief. “But we almost did. I only stopped because you said ‘I love you’.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes filled with a slight panic. “I- what?”

“You didn’t say it to me.” Everything he was saying was clearly just confusing Iwaizumi even more. “You thought I was Oikawa.” He clarified, and Iwaizumi instinctively looked down at his ring, realising that the memory of seeing Oikawa above him may have just been his brain scrambling the illusion of that moment with Atsumu.

“I- I should really call him.”

“You should.” Atsumu pushed himself off the doorframe he was leaning against, and started to leave.

“Wait. Atsumu.” He stopped and turned back to look at the one that he recently realised he had started to fall for. “Thank you.” Atsumu nodded; a look of content sadness patterned on his face, then turned away again and disappeared out of Iwaizumi’s field of view, then out the door.

Iwaizumi sat on the couch, TV playing quietly behind his thoughts. He picked up his phone and scrolled down to Tooru, hesitating only for a moment before calling. “Iwa-Chan?” The voice at the other end of the line spoke after only three rings. Iwaizumi gulped - he was nervous. He’d not only betrayed Oikawa’s trust, but twice now. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t remember it, he shouldn’t have allowed himself to get into that position. He knew what he did was wrong, and he was fully aware that he couldn’t hide it from Oikawa, not if he wanted their relationship to get back to normal.

“Hey.” He responded after a small pause of silence. “Are you busy tonight?”

“Nothing that I can’t cancel. Why?”

“Do you want to come round? So we can talk?”

Oikawa agreed, fully aware of what they were going to talk about but not letting that show.

He arrived at the house less than 20 minutes later, and greeted Iwaizumi with an almost needy hug - a neediness that Iwaizumi seemed to return with how tightly he held on. “Iwa-chan? Are you alright?” He questioned as they stood in the doorway, holding each other. Iwaizumi didn’t speak, but he shook his head, which Oikawa felt against his shoulder. He took that as his cue to let go and push Iwaizumi back so he could make eye contact. “Talk to me, Haji.” Iwaizumi nodded, and invited Oikawa in, offering him some tea which the setter gratefully accepted.

The two sat opposite each other on the kitchen table in silence as they both sipped their tea. Oikawa stayed quiet, knowing that Iwaizumi would talk as soon as he was ready. “I want you to come home.” Iwaizumi said quietly after almost twenty minutes, and Oikawa’s face lit up, and he opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted before he could do so. “But there’s something I need to tell you before you agree.” Oikawa closed his mouth and nodded, allowing Iwaizumi to proceed. “I assume you know I went out with Miya last night?”

“I do.”

“Well, we both got drunk. Really drunk. And…” He hesitated, and a look of concern showed itself on the setters face. “Well one thing led to another and we almost slept together.”

Oikawa sighed and looked down. The amount of pain hearing those words had caused him was more than obvious. Iwaizumi was prepared for him to scream, and shout, and cry. But he didn’t do any. He just looked back up, held eye contact, and asked a simple question. “Why did you stop?” Iwaizumi cocked his head, slightly confused. “You said ‘almost’. So why’d you stop?” Oikawa clarified.

“Oh.” Iwaizumi reached his hand across the table to hold Oikawa’s hand, but Oikawa pulled his back, and looked at Iwaizumi, expectantly. He slowly put his hands back around his cup and looked down, slightly embarrassed. “I don’t remember any of it. Honestly. But, apparently, I said ‘I love you, Tooru.’” Oikawa’s eyes widened slightly before going back to normal.

“You expect me to just forget about this because of that one point?”

“No. God no.” Iwaizumi jumped in quickly. “There’s no excuse for what I did. I know that. And I’m not trying to defend myself here.” Oikawa shook his head and chuckled a little in disbelief for the poor case Iwaizumi was making for himself. “Tooru, I completely understand if you don’t want to move back to home. And I’d get it if this was a complete deal breaker for you. If you never want to see me again, that’s fine. What I’ve done to you - Tooru it’s unforgivable. I know that, okay?” He sighed. “But if you could give me the opportunity, I swear I would do anything to make it up to you.”

The two of them sat in silence as Oikawa rested his face in his hands. Iwaizumi looked down at his cup as he let Oikawa process everything he had just said, and after a few minutes, the setter raised his head, eyes slightly puffy and watery. It broke Iwaizumi’s heart, but he deserved every ounce of pain that he felt. “You thought it was me?” He asked, softly.

“I don’t really remember any of it, but I think so.” Iwaizumi responded honestly.

Oikawa nodded gently. “I’ll move back home. I want to be home. But I have a few conditions.”

Iwaizumi smiled with relief. “Anything.” He replied.

“First, I don’t want you seeing that Miya guy anymore. I know you work with him, but outside of that.”

“Okay. Done.”

“Second, we sleep in the same bed. We don’t have to do anything - I know I don’t want to yet - but I do miss just sleeping next to you.”

“That’s fine. I miss sleeping next to you too.” 

Oikawa smiled softly at his confession. “Last thing, you need to be honest with me, one hundred percent, okay?”

“Yes. Of course. Always.” Iwaizumi jumped as if it was an obvious point.

“That means you tell me when I piss you off too.” Oikawa confirmed, and Iwaizumi nodded. “You really hurt me here Hajime. You told me explicitly that he was nothing to worry about. After I watched him kiss you. And now he’s left his mark on your neck. It’s gonna take a lot for me to trust you again here. I know I hurt you when I neglected you, but you were furious at me when I even remotely suggested that there was something between you and him. And now this has happened, so my gut feeling here was right and I hate that. I’m furious at you right now, Haji. And me moving home isn’t me forgiving you, it’s just me wanting to fix this rift that’s formed between us, because I love you and I still want to spend my life with you. Hell, I gave up my entire damn career to come home to be with  _ you _ . And I don’t regret it for a second, because I would rather have you than go another day without you. I need you, Haji. But I need you to need me too. Please.”

“I do need you Tooru.” Iwaizumi said sincerely. He reached out to Oikawa again, and this time the setter returned the favour. “I know I let you down here. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. But I don’t want to spend another day without you either. I’ve missed you every second of every day. I know you’re mad at me, you have every right to be, but I swear I’ll make it up to you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He glanced over at the back of his husband's head, and sighed slightly. “Iwa-chan?”
> 
> “Yeah?” Iwaizumi responded, sleepily. 
> 
> “Do you…” He hesitated, nervous about the answer he may get. “Do you think ‘the way it used to be’ is even an achievable goal for us anymore?”
> 
> Iwaizumi sighed deeply, and rolled onto his back so that he was now looking up at the ceiling too. “Honestly?” He glanced at Oikawa. “No.”
> 
> “Oh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not proof read this and it probably shows, but this is the start of the resolution arc (there will be a little more angst, but were coming relatively close to an ending now).

Oikawa moved back in that night. Most of his stuff was still in his car; boxes of personal belongings, and suitcases with his clothes in. He didn’t have much as he didn’t take a lot to Argentina; he had never planned to stay as long as he did. Everything else that he had was at Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s place, so he could just get it in the morning.

Their evening routines didn’t match up anymore, though. The tension from what Iwaizumi had admitted loomed over them, and the lack of trust was prominent. Oikawa showered and brushed his teeth, and pulled on a pair of three quarter length sweatpants, then crawled into bed and pulled out a book, putting his glasses on so he could read for a little while as Iwaizumi showered, shaved, and got himself ready for bed. As he left the en-suite, he had to fight every instinct he had to stop himself from automatically trying to get into bed on Oikawa’s side - he tended to sleep there when his partner wasn’t home as it somehow made the bed seem less empty. But he didn’t have to pretend tonight. For the first time in months, Oikawa was here. He was home. Iwaizumi climbed under the duvet and lay down, looking up at Oikawa who was still sitting and reading.

“What’re you reading?” He asked, curiously, and Oikawa glanced down at him, smiling slightly at how cute he looked all bundled up beneath the covers. He showed the cover to his partner , and Iwaizumi nodded and hummed in slight approval. “The Shining. A classic.” He rolled over so his back was now to Oikawa. “I thought you weren’t good with horror novels though.” Oikawa closed the book on a bookmark and placed it on his bedside table with his glasses, turning his lamp off in the process so that the room was now plunged into darkness. 

Oikawa lay on his back, fingers interlocked and resting on his chest. Part of him was desperate to hold Iwaizumi, but he was screaming at himself not to make the first move. He didn’t want to show any leniency here, not after what Iwaizumi had done. He glanced over at the back of his husband's head, and sighed slightly. “Iwa-chan?”

“Yeah?” Iwaizumi responded, sleepily. 

“Do you…” He hesitated, nervous about the answer he may get. “Do you think ‘the way it used to be’ is even an achievable goal for us anymore?”

Iwaizumi sighed deeply, and rolled onto his back so that he was now looking up at the ceiling too. “Honestly?” He glanced at Oikawa. “No.”

“Oh.”

“But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” He defended. “Think about it. Our relationship in high school was completely different than the one we had in middle school, and you hated that change at first. But that change is what led to us ending up together.” Oikawa smiled slightly, still looking up at the ceiling. And he put his hand in between the two of them, giving Iwaizumi the opportunity to grip hold of it - an opportunity he embraced to the fullest, holding on just tight enough that Oikawa knew he was being sincere. “We’ve both changed so much since we started dating that I don’t think we could go back to the way it was even if we tried.” Oikawa scooched a little closer as Iwaizumi spoke. “But we can be better than that.” He looked at his husband, who took that as an allowance to curl into him and lay his head on Iwaizumi’s chest, wrapping one arm over his torso, and cuddling in closely to him. Iwaizumi became breathless for just a second, realising that this warmth was what we had missed. The closeness. The scent of Oikawa. The softness of his hair. He wrapped one arm around Oikawa, and stroked his hair with the other. He had  _ almost  _ forgotten how silky an smooth it felt after it had been blow dried. He inhaled deeply, then continued. “We have a lot that we need to work through. We both messed up. You shouldn’t have been gone that long. You shouldn’t have neglected me, and pushed me away the way you did. But the fact you did, doesn’t excuse what I did. I should have never put myself into a position where I was alone with Atsumu after I knew you were home.” Hearing the guys name made Oikawa’s blood boil. “If I’m being completely honest, our date on Wednesday was the best night I had in a long time. And as much as I was still furious at you, I honestly just wanted you to come home. When you told me that you were back for good, that was the moment I decided I wanted to make it work. The moment I decided I’d rather go through this rough patch with you, than give up.”

“If that’s really true,” Oikawa started, snuggling himself in closer so that he was in a slightly more comfortable. “Then why did you go out with Miya last night?” Iwaizumi tensed at the question. Not much, but enough that Oikawa noticed, and moved his head so he was looking at him, but the athletic trainer avoided eye contact, choosing instead to continue looking up.

“That was…” He was almost embarrassed to even talk about it. “That was a desperate cry for attention.” He admitted for the first time. “I knew that Matsukawa and Hanamaki would tell you, and I wanted to see if you’d react at all.” He chucked, ashamed of himself. “It really wasn’t fair for me to use him that way - knowing how he feels about me. And with how much he reminded me of the way you used to be, I should have known something would have happened if I drank as much as I did.” He finally glanced down at Oikawa, who had a sad look displayed on his face. Iwaizumi squeezed his shoulder and sighed at the way is partner now looked. “Even if I apologised to you every day for the rest of my life, it wouldn’t be enough.”

Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa in closer, and the setter allowed the embrace. “I don’t want you to apologise. You’ve already done that. And I accept that apology. I don’t really trust you right now, but I want to.”

“I want you to.” Iwaizumi interrupted.

Oikawa slapped his chest lightly for interrupting, then continued. “I think that you just need to show me that I can. I don’t know how you’ll do that but I think you could.” Oikawa closed his eyes, ready to sleep. “I’ve missed you, Haji.”

Iwaizumi kissed the top of Oikawa’s head, then closed his eyes, inhaling deeply to embrace the scent he had missed for these past months. “I’ve missed you too.” He whispered as the two of them drifted off into the most comfortable night's sleep that they had both had in a long time.

The alarm clock went off at 5am as it always did, and Iwaizumi rolled over and hit snooze, stretching in the process. He was exhausted, but the feeling of Oikawa finally being back in bed with him really helped. Oikawa had rolled over in his sleep and was now lying with his back to Iwaizumi. As much as he wanted to curl into the back of him, he resisted the urge. He still wasn’t sure how much intimacy Oikawa wanted, and he didn’t want to initiate something that he wouldn’t be comfortable with. So he lay on his side, just looking at the back of his head, and stayed there until his alarm went off for the second time. He then switched it off and rolled out of bed, heading straight to the bathroom, glancing back only once and smiling at how comfortable Oikawa looked; still fast asleep and snoring softly.

He decided to make breakfast before waking his gently sleeping husband - a small gesture that didn’t mean much but let him sleep a little longer. He made Oikawa’s favourite - a Spanish omelette and a cup of Chai tea. He would have taken it up to him, but they both agreed years ago that breakfast in bed was a bad idea as neither of them liked the idea of crumbs in the bed, so instead he woke his husband up gently, placing his hand on Oikawa’s shoulder and shaking him lightly. “Oi, Shittykawa.” He whispered, and the setter rolled over and glared at him, tiredly.

“Iwa-chan, so mean.” He complained. “What time is it?” The exhaustion in his voice was prominent, and Iwaizumi felt slightly guilty for waking him so early.

“It’s 5:45.” Iwaizumi responded. “I’m about to leave for work, but I made you breakfast.” He smiled softly at Oikawa, and was amused by the mess of his hair and the drool line that trailed from the edge of his lip down to his chin, which he wiped unconsciously with the back of his hand after rubbing his eyes.

Oikawa stretched and sat up, thanking Iwaizumi for the breakfast, then kissing his cheek as a goodbye before heading into the bathroom.

As suspected, Iwaizumi was gone when Oikawa finished in the en-suite, and he headed downstairs to eat the breakfast his partner had kindly prepared for him. He had left it in the oven on a low setting for him so that it’d stay warm, and the pot of tea was still hot. It was nice to have a sense of normality with him again, even if there was still an awkward tension lingering between them. The only time it didn’t feel awkward was when they were going to sleep. Being next to Iwaizumi just felt natural. It felt right. 

_ <<I’m going for a drink with Matsukawa after work to talk about possible wedding and stag night venues. I’ll be home for dinner, do you want me to pick up some takeout on my way back? _

This was the perfect chance for Oikawa to show that he had changed his tune. Obviously Iwaizumi fucked up, but that didn’t excuse everything Oikawa had done to him. If he really wanted his marriage to work, he had to show that he was still willing to change, even after all this.

_ >>Don’t worry about it. I’ll sort something for us. _

_ <<Okay, but can we stay in? I don’t really feel like going out for a third time this week. Is that alright? _

_ >>Of course! Don’t worry about it.  _

_ <<Thanks _

Oikawa put together a list of ingredients, pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt, then headed to the store to buy everything he needed. He had missed this domestic feeling, and he felt more like he belonged in this one day he had been back in his own bed than he ever did in Argentina. 

This was it. This was the fresh start they had needed. This was a new start to their relationship, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up. Not this time. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hajime, you are the love of my life. It wasn’t even a choice in my eyes. Of course it would be you.”
> 
> Iwaizumi opened his eyes and looked up at the setter in front of him, sighing then pushing himself into a close embrace; Oikawa leaning down so that their foreheads were touching. “Then why didn’t you choose me first?” He asked quietly, which pulled an almost silent gasp from Oikawa. “When I gave you the ultimatum, you chose volleyball.” It was then that it finally dawned on Oikawa how Iwaizumi had felt all this time. He finally realised why his husband was insecure - why he was worried about coming home to an empty house again.

The night Iwaizumi had gotten a drink with Matsukawa was not a good one for Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s relationship. The latter got home late and drunk. The food had gotten cold, and they argued. He apologised the next day, and ate the meal Oikawa had prepared as lunch instead. The next few nights after that weren’t much better Iwaizumi was consistently coming home drunk, and nothing was improving for them. 

A week had passed; Oikawa sat in the garden for hours again, just waiting for Iwaizumi to get back. It had long passed six, and the meal he had spent all afternoon making had gone cold. And he was yet to get even a text from Iwaizumi explaining where he was, or why he was late. As time ticked on, anger slowly started to melt into worry - he couldn’t fathom why Iwaizumi wouldn’t be home on time if he was fine, surely he would have texted, he had every other night this week. 

As he exhaled deeply, trying to calm his nerves, the door finally opened, and suddenly the concern he had been feeling disappeared, and he was just angry again. “Tooru?” Iwaizumi called from inside the house, and Oikawa came in from the garden.

“Kitchen.” He called back, clearly unhappy. Iwaizumi made his way into the kitchen, and smiled drunkenly at his obviously pissed off husband. “Not even a simple text to say you were running late?” Iwaizumi cocked his head, confused, and Oikawa realised that arguing with a drunk was pointless. He sighed and placed his hands on the counter. “I’m really trying, Iwa-Chan. I have been since the moment I got back. So why aren’t you?”

Iwaizumi sat at the breakfast bar, a smile still displayed on his face. “I love you.” He said, sentimentally, and Oikawa rolled his eyes, turning away to put a pot of coffee on so Iwaizumi could sober up slightly. “Being ‘normal’ with you terrifies me.” Iwaizumi admitted, causing Oikawa to turn back and look at him. He wasn’t paying attention though, he was playing with his ring. “I keep thinking that I’m gonna get home, and you won’t be here.” He looked up at Oikawa to be met with a look of shock and awe. “It hurt so much whenever you left. I don’t know what I’ll do when I get home one day and you’re gone again.”

Oikawa didn’t really know how to respond to that. The thought that Iwaizumi was scared about  _ that  _ never even crossed his mind. He had wondered why his husband had been acting this way, and this drunken confession had answered that question. “Iwa-Chan…” he said softly, reaching across the counter and gripping Iwaizumi’s hand, tightly. “I’m not going anywhere.” Iwaizumi shook his head.

“You can’t promise me that.” He argued.

“Yes I can. And I do.”

“No you can’t.” Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa’s hand and rubbed his eyes. “What if you got an offer to play?”

“I already made my decision on playing. I’d rather have you.” He smiled, but a look of concerned desperation displayed itself on Iwaizumi’s face. “What’s that look for?” He questioned, picking up on it instantly.

Iwaizumi sighed and stood, swaying as he gripped the edge of the breakfast bar, steadying himself. “I don’t want you to give up your dream for me, Tooru.”

“You were the one that asked me to come home.”

Iwaizumi teared up, and stepped back, trying to keep himself upright whilst simultaneously putting distance between him and Oikawa. “I just wanted a year.” His voice cracked. “I didn’t want you to give everything up. I didn’t want you to give everything up for me.” He slowly started to walk backwards out of the room, shaking his head as tears started to fall. “You saying that, in that tone? That’s you already starting to regret that choice.”

Oikawa moved closer to Iwaizumi, grabbing his shoulders to stop him from backing further away. “Don’t you dare.” He spoke in a soft but warning tone. “Don’t you think for even a second that I would  _ ever  _ regret choosing you.” He placed his hand on Iwaizumi’s cheek, and wiped the tear that had fallen from his eye as the latter leant into the touch, closing his eyes to embrace the feeling of Oikawa. “Hajime, you are the love of my life. It wasn’t even a choice in my eyes. Of course it would be you.”

Iwaizumi opened his eyes and looked up at the setter in front of him, sighing then pushing himself into a close embrace; Oikawa leaning down so that their foreheads were touching. “Then why didn’t you choose me first?” He asked quietly, which pulled an almost silent gasp from Oikawa. “When I gave you the ultimatum, you chose volleyball.” It was then that it finally dawned on Oikawa how Iwaizumi had felt all this time. He finally realised why his husband was insecure - why he was worried about coming home to an empty house again. 

“Haji, come home after work tomorrow. Please. I promise you I’ll be here. Just please come home sober.”

“Okay.” Iwaizumi nodded, pulling his head back slightly and locking eyes with Oikawa, who took that long, lingering look as permission to push himself into a deep kiss. Iwaizumi’s mouth was warm, and his lips were even softer than they were when the two of them last kissed. For a couple seconds, Oikawa forgot how to breathe, forgot how to think, forgot how to do anything, and he just felt, pulling Iwaizumi in closer by his hips with a grip that wasn’t too tight, but showed that he didn’t want to let him go. And Iwaizumi melted into him, and while the kiss felt like it lasted for hours, it probably only lasted for five or six seconds before Oikawa’s brain function snapped back into control, and he pulled back.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, and Iwaizumi shook his head, placing his hand on Oikawa’s chest.

“Don’t be.” He insisted. “Don’t ever be sorry for that.” Iwaizumi chuckled slightly as he stepped back, looking back up at him. “I will always be okay with you kissing me like that.” He smiled, then turned and Oikawa watched him walk down the hallway, and turn the corner, taking himself up the stairs. 

Oikawa took this as the opportunity to lock up, then followed Iwaizumi up to be. It wasn’t that late, but they were both exhausted. He didn’t get up too long after Iwaizumi, but his husband was already fast asleep when he entered their room. He sat himself on the edge of the bed and just watched Iwaizumi sleep for a little while. “Tooru, please don’t stare at me.” He said after a short while. And Oikawa ran his fingers through Iwaizumi’s hair, pulling a small hum from him. “Can you just come to bed and hold me for a while.” Oikawa smiled at the request, and kissed Iwaizumi on the temple.

“I’ll be just a minute.” He said, standing, then getting himself ready for bed, and climbing in a few minutes later, and Iwaizumi snuggled backwards into him. Being able to hold him like this was all Oikawa had wanted whenever he had been away. He buried his face into the back of Iwaizumi’s head, and pulled him in tighter. “Haji?”

“Tooru?”

“I think I may be ready.” He said, calmly.

“Then how about tomorrow?” Iwaizumi responded almost instantly, completely unphased by the suddenness of it.

“O...okay…” Oikawa stuttered, slightly shocked at the willingness of his husband. “Tomorrow it is. I’ll make dinner.” He smiled to himself, and Iwaizumi did the same. “And you’ll be home at what time?”

“I’m picking up there rest of your things from Mattsun’s after work so I’ll be back at around 5.” He confirmed.

Oikawa inhaled deeply. “Sober?” He asked, a little shakily, trying not to sound needy, but desperate to drill it into Iwaizumi’s head that he needed him to come home on time and sober just once. If they were going to make this work, Iwaizumi had to trust Oikawa would be there.

Iwaizumi sighed. “You promise you’ll be here?”

“I will be.”

“Then yes.” He assured, as he snuggled backwards into Oikawa, wiggling his hips which made Oikawa twitch slightly.

The two of them drifted off to sleep comfortably together, and they slept through the night.

***

_ “Daddy! Daddy!” Iwaizumi picked up the bundle of joy that ran towards him as he walked through the door after a long day at work. “How was work daddy? Me and papa made cookies.” Sakura beamed as she hugged him tightly. _

_ He chucked slightly as he walked into the house, dropping his bag from over his shoulder onto the floor, and kicking off his shoes. “So that’s what that amazing smell is then?” He questioned, carrying his daughter through the house into an empty kitchen, sitting her on the counter top, then glancing out of the window of the backdoor to an empty garden. “And where is papa?” He asked curiously. _

_ “He said an important man was calling him.” She explained, kicking her legs happily as Iwaizumi opened the fridge and pulled out a block of cheese and some butter, then took the bread out of the cupboard, making himself, Oikawa, and Sakura a sandwich. _

_ “An important man, huh?” He questioned, smile still on his face. “And who do you think it was?” He handed his daughter her lunch and leant against the counter next to her and took a bite of his own. _

_ “Papa said it could be about playing again but I don’t know what game.” She said simply _

_ “He said what?” Iwaizumi looked at her, slightly shocked. Oikawa came into the room before Sakura could say anything else, and Iwaizumi looked at him; a look that was hard to read. “You could be playing again?” He asked in a tone that Oikawa couldn’t pin down.  _

_ He smiled, clearly excited but nervous at the same time. “They want me to play here. The Sendai Frogs.” _

_ “You’ll be playing again?” Iwaizumi started approaching him.  _

_ “Yeah.” He chuckled. “It’s division two, but it’s still a professional league.” He gripped Iwaizumi’s shoulders and grinned wildly. “I can play and I can play locally.” He beamed. “Iwa-Chan, I need to give them an answer today, but I wanna know what you think.” _

_ “They want you to play in Japan?” He asked, clarifying again. _

_ “In Sendai.” He confirmed, and Iwaizumi jumped into a hug much to Oikawa’s surprise, but the latter still chuckled, and lifted him into a spin. _

_ “Congratulations Tooru.” He smiled widely and planted a kiss on Oikawa’s lips. _

_ “Ewwww.” A small voice interrupted and the two giggled and looked over at their little girl who was sticking her tongue out at them. Oikawa lowered Iwaizumi down to the floor, and smiled at him. _

_ “So you’re happy for me to say yes?” _

_ “Of course!” Iwaizumi said. “I’ll work my work schedule around yours. The joys of being my own boss.” He grinned, and Oikawa planted a kiss on his forehead, then left the room to call them back. _

***

Iwaizumi groaned as his alarm pulled him from his dream. He hit snooze and rolled over so he was face to face with Oikawa, and smiled tiredly at him. He moved slightly in and kissed his husband's nose, making him smile with his eyes still closed. “Good morning, Trashykawa.” He grinned, and Oikawa frowned, now opening his eyes. 

“So mean, Iwa-Chan.” He complained, moving in closer, and leaning his forehead against Iwaizumi’s. “Ew, Iwa-Chan. Your breath stinks.” He giggled.

Iwaizumi glared at him. “Shut up, Shittykawa.” He said, rolling so that he was leaning over the top of Oikawa, and planted a gentle ‘good morning’ kiss on his lips. “I need to get ready for work.” He said as he pulled back, looking down at Oikawa and wondering how on earth he had ever been this lucky. Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi down, closer, wrapping his arms around him, and burying himself in his mouth, and Iwaizumi supposed that was his attempt at stopping him. 

It was almost surprising how well they still fit together, and how their bodies seemed to still lock into place like puzzle pieces. How Iwaizumi’s fingers seemed to fit well when they curved around the nape of Oikawa’s neck; their lips slotting together, working together, and the thought alone made Iwaizumi’s head swim. Oikawa’s hands moved to rest on the small of his back, and Iwaizumi pulled back again, just enough to where their lips were barely touching. “I really need to get up.” He said softly, placing another lingering kiss on his husband's lips. “But are you still up for tonight?” He asked, smiling down expectantly at him.

“Absolutely.” He grinned, and Iwaizumi rolled off of him and out of the bed. “Iwa-Chan you’re just gonna kiss me then leave?” He whined.

Iwaizumi looked over his shoulder. “I’ll make it up to you later.” He winked and grinned at him, and Oikawa was left a little bit speechless. “I promise.”

When Iwaizumi left for work, Oikawa was still in bed. He knew that Iwaizumi would be out until around 5pm, and he had no idea what he was going to make for dinner. But he wanted it to be perfect. He wanted all of it to go perfectly. Iwaizumi hadn’t been home for dinner since Oikawa moved back in the previous week, but he promised to be home tonight, and he had agreed to book a personal day off work for tomorrow - something that suggested he planned to be up late tonight, which just excited Oikawa even more. He didn’t know what Iwaizumi was planning on doing, but at this point he was up for anything. He just wanted to be close with him again. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly smut, i sincerely apologise but it genuinely took me like 4 days of intense concentration to finally write this because im wayyyy more of a fluff/angst writing than a smut writer but here you go anyway

Iwaizumi was distracted that day. He spent the entire day glancing at his watch, wishing the time away so that he could get home to Oikawa. He was nervous, but he was excited. And his change in mood didn’t go unnoticed. “You seem in a better mood today.” Atsumu observed, making Iwaizumi jump a little as he came up behind him. 

The athletic trainer smiled at him. “I guess I am in a better mood.” He commented, not specifically wanting to go into detail, as he knew it may upset Atsumu and he didn’t want to do that.

But Atsumu pushed, as if he were wanting as much intel as possible for some reason. “And why are you in such a good mood all of a sudden?” He questioned.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Absolutely. It’s nice to see you happy for once, so I’m curious where the smile has come from.” He said, truthfully.

“Well,” Iwaizumi started, still slightly hesitant. “You know how Oikawa moved back in last week?”

“I remember you saying, yeah.”

“It turns out that we’re both finally ready to… you know...” He nodded, slightly suggestively, and Atsumu got the hint.

“Okay, yeah.” He gritted his teeth as he spoke, trying to hide his disappointment. “So did you two screw last night then?” He asked bluntly.

Iwaizumi blushed slightly, and chuckled. “No, no.” He confirmed. “But he’s making us dinner tonight, and who knows?” He grinned, and Atsumu rolled his eyes - something that Iwaizumi noticed but chose not to make a comment on. “But I’m just looking forward to being back to normal with him.” He admitted.

Atsumu had a sad look plastered on his face, glanced at Iwaizumi’s left hand, taking note of the wedding band on his finger again, and then looked him in the eyes. “So I never stood a chance then, huh?” He knew what the response would be. Of course he never had a shot with Oikawa in the picture.

“Miya...” Iwaizumi started. “Tooru is the love of my life. I’m sorry, but given the option I would choose him over anyone.” He looked at Atsumu sympathetically as the setter tried to hide the upset this had caused him. Iwaizumi sighed, slightly ashamed of himself. “I’m really sorry, Atsumu.” He apologised, sincerely.

“I just don’t get what I even am to you.” He confessed. “It’s like you want to be friends, but it’s you that made the first move last week. You were actively conscious you were with me at the start, and I don’t know at what point I turned to Oikawa in your mind, but it was definitely  _ me  _ with you at the beginning. I just need something clear from you. Please.” He felt pathetic even asking, but he had to know for his own piece of mind.

Iwaizumi shook his head, and sighed. “I- I can’t really explain it. I think I had some sort of subconscious attraction to you because you remind me of the way Oikawa used to be. But I knew how you felt about me. And it wasn’t fair of me to agree to that date knowing that. So I really am sorry.” He gripped the setters shoulder, and the two locked eyes. “You’re my friend, Atsumu. I don’t want to lose you. But I can’t see you outside of work anymore. Not if I want to fix my marriage.” He let go as Atsumu nodded in understanding, then started to walk away.

“I get it.” He called to the trainer behind him.

“Atsumu.” Iwaizumi spoke, trying to stop him from walking away.

“Don’t.” The setter responded, then turned to him with a clearly fake smile plastered across his face. “It’s fine, really.” It was the same type of false smile that Oikawa would wear when he didn’t want to let it show that he was upset or disappointed. It hurt to see him that way, but he loved his husband too much to risk jeopardising their relationship for someone he had only known a few weeks. But he refused to let this ruin his mood.

Three o’clock rolled around in no time and Iwaizumi was out of the building without a second to spare. He was looking forward to finally being with Oikawa again. It had been  _ almost _ six months since their last time, and on top of that it had seemed for a while like that would have been their last time, and he hadn’t even fully appreciated it then. He was pissed off about something or other, and he hadn’t been in the moment the way he would usually be. So the idea that he would get another opportunity to feel him again was one that he was more than happy to snatch up. He hadn’t expected it to be so soon, but it was Oikawa - he was never going to say no. 

He collected his husbands things from Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s place quickly, and was home before it even reached four. As he walked through the front door, he was hit by the smell of something delicious cooking, and music was flooding the house - Bon Iver, Skinny Love. This had always been one of Oikawa’s favourite songs. It felt like home. This house that had just felt like a means to an end for the past five years finally felt like home. And that’s when he realised, the missing piece to tie together the feeling was Oikawa. It was so painfully obvious; he felt stupid for not realising it before now. But the emptiness had been something he had grown accustomed to. This was much more pleasant.

After taking a few moments to just appreciate the missing piece, he called out to Oikawa from across the house. The setter came bounding through, a smile plastered on his face. “Iwa-Chan!” He beamed, and Iwaizumi smiled softly at him. “I told you I’d still be here.” He took the boxes out of his husband's hands, and the duffle bag off his shoulder, then started up the stairs, talking behind him as Iwaizumi walked behind him. “I’ll put this stuff away, you should get a shower.”

“Oikawa Tooru, are you saying I smell?” Iwaizumi asked, acting like he was offended by the suggestion.

“Iwaizumi Hajime, yes I am.” Oikawa smirked and giggled when Iwaizumi glared at him. “Don’t look at me like that, Iwa-Chan!” He whined, clearly not seriously, but in such a way that got under Iwaizumi’s skin.

He grinned at Oikawa, and the setter looked at him confused. “Don’t make me start on you early.” He warned before locking himself in the bathroom, leaving Oikawa there, twitching slightly at how hot that one small statement was when paired with the hungry grin that was plastered on Iwaizumi’s face.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Oikawa shouted through the door. Iwaizumi didn’t respond, but Oikawa swore he heard him chuckle. He rolled his eyes, dumped the boxes and bag in his closet, then laid out a shirt and pants for Iwaizumi to put on when he came out. It was an azure blue shirt, and some grey pants. He then put on the contrasting colour himself - a berry red shirt. He was back downstairs before Iwaizumi had finished, setting the table, and lighting some candles to set the mood. 

Iwaizumi came downstairs long enough later that Oikawa had served dinner, and was sitting at the table waiting for him. He smiled at his husband as he walked into the room - all of his senses picking up something different. Oikawa looked stunning. He had clearly put in some effort - washed and styled his hair, shaved his face, ironed his shirt, and he was wearing a chain around his neck that was barely visible because of his shirt collar, but it was recognisable as the one that Iwaizumi had bought him in California six years ago.

The next thing he noticed was the music playing softly. It was the shared playlist that they had compiled on Spotify that they could listen to to remind them of each other. It seemed like a trivial thing at the time, but it had brought Iwaizumi comfort on multiple occasions. Then he noticed the smell. It smelt heavenly. It was a meatball stroganoff and Iwaizumi had to admit that the smell alone was better than anything he’d ever made for Oikawa - but he wasn’t going to tell Oikawa that.

He sat down across from Oikawa. “It smells amazing.” He commented, and Oikawa smiled, delighted by the compliment. “How long have you been teaching yourself how to cook?” He questioned, curious on how he got this good at it since the last time when he almost burned the house down. 

“Well, after last time, I decided that I wanted to be able to cook for you from time to time.” Iwaizumi nodded as the two of them started eating. “Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked as he was finishing his meal.

Iwaizumi glanced up at him, mouth full of food and eyes wide. “Hm?” He responded, not fully paying attention as he was engulfed in the delicious food he was eating, and the excellent wine that Oikawa had chosen to pair with their meal.

“Do you remember the night you asked me to marry you?” He questioned, and Iwaizumi swallowed his food, then took another sip of his wine.

“Of course I do. That was the only good week I had in California. I remember every second of it.” He confirmed.

Oikawa shook his head. “No.” He said, and Iwaizumi looked at him in confusion. “I mean the night that I was being an ass. You know, after my injury when I hadn’t played for months?”

“Oh. You mean the night I asked you to elope with me?” Iwaizumi realised.

“Yeah. Do you remember what you said to me that night?”

“Honestly? Not really.”

Oikawa chuckled slightly, as if that was exactly what he had expected. “Well, I do.” He said, almost as if he was bragging. “You said to me, and I quote, ‘Tooru, you’re an asshole, and sometimes I can’t stand you. But I still want to spend the rest of my life with you. And nothing will ever change that.’” Iwaizumi was still obviously confused - unsure of what Oikawa was trying to say. “Iwa-Chan…” He reached over and grabbed his hand. “I believed you. I still do. When you sent the papers, I thought of those words. When I came back, I thought of those words. The reason I always had confidence that we’d be able to be ‘us’ again, was because of what you told me. You’re the reason I never gave up hope.” He smiled softly, and Iwaizumi looked down at his unheld hand on the table.

He glanced up, an inexplicable sadness in his eyes. “Tooru I-” He started, his voice cracking slightly. “The night you came back, I took my ring off.”

“I know.” He interrupted, unsure what Iwaizumi was getting at.

“I took it off because I gave up on the idea that you’d ever come back.” He confessed.

“So what?” Oikawa asked. “You had every right to think that. It took me almost three weeks to suck it up and come back. That was so much longer than it should have. I should have been on the first plane back the moment I saw the papers.” He sighed softly. “I should have never made you feel like you needed to send them in the first place. I’m sorry I pushed you to that, Haji.”

“God, Tooru, I’m the one who should apologise. I was selfish. These past few weeks, I’ve caused you so much heartache. How can you even still want to be with me anymore? Hell, I almost slept with someone else.” He was clearly choking up, and the guilt he was feeling was almost far too overwhelming for him. “How can you forgive me so easily for that?”

“Haji, I love you.” Iwaizumi pulled his hand away from Oikawa’s, folding them in his lap and looking down in shame. Oikawa walked around the table, and knelt down next to his husband, and placed his hand on Iwaizumi’s thigh; then tried to put himself in his eye line with no avail. Iwaizumi kept his head down, eyes watering. “Hajime Iwaizumi. If you don’t stop putting a downer on this night, I’m gonna kick your ass.” He warned in a jokingly tone, and Iwaizumi’s lip curled up slightly, and he glanced up, meeting Oikawa’s eyes.

“As if you could kick my ass.” He retorted, and Oikawa smiled at the confidence his husband responded with. The two of them held eye contact for a few seconds, then the song changed. It was the song of their first dance - Need Your Love So Bad, Fleetwood Mac - and both of them glanced over at the speaker, then back at each other.

“Hajime, can I have this dance?” Oikawa asked in an overly formal way, standing up, then putting out one hand for Iwaizumi to grip hold of.

“Why, of course you can Tooru.” Iwaizumi responded, in an equally formal tone, then placing his hand in his husbands, and being pulled up into a close embrace. Whilst Iwaizumi liked to feel in control most of the time, dancing was the one time he’d let Oikawa lead. He placed one hand on Oikawa’s shoulder, and Oikawa placed one hand on Iwaizumi’s hip, holding Iwaizumi’s other hand in his own, and leading him slowly to the rhythm of the music that was playing. The two of them stared at each other, both of them recalling the memory of their first dance as they smiled at one another.

They were both thrown back to that summer night five years earlier. Matssun and Makki threw a party after the wedding in order to celebrate, and they hit shuffle on the playlist they had made together in order to choose their first dance, and this song had come on. So they stuck with it and got lost in the moment with each other, the same way they were doing now. Neither of them could even remember who had put this song in the mix, but it was there, and it was perfect. For this moment now, and for that moment back then, it was perfect. 

***

Oikawa giggled “Are you trying to seduce me, Hajime Iwaizumi?” He grinned against his lips, both of them smiling and flirtatiously giggling as Iwaizumi hummed, leaning down over Oikawa - who was now spread across the bed, nipping once at his lower lip and causing a shiver to roll down Oikawa’s spine. 

“Only if you want me to,” Iwaizumi replied, one of his hands sliding up and teasing along the shell of Oikawa’s ear. He smiled at him as Oikawa rolled his shoulder and shivered again as Iwaizum’s gentle touch tickled him, and Iwaizumi grinned at that. Ever since he first discovered Oikawa was ticklish, it became one of his favorite ways to get to him. But he tried to brush it off, taking Iwaizumi’s hand away from his ear and pulling it to his mouth, planting a soft kiss on it. 

“Of course I want you to,” he replied, rolling his eyes as if the remote suggestion that he wouldn’t want this was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard. Oikawa pulled in a sharp breath, and his cheeks flushed red as Iwaizumi started kissing the side of his face, slowly working his way down to his neck. Iwaizumi was blushing too, but it was essentially unnoticeable based on his position. Oikawa choked on an exhale, his laughter from how much it tickled cutting off in a low moan as Iwaizum’s lips latched onto the side of his neck, sucking and nipping on the vulnerable flesh. Oikawa felt a tingling thrill rush through him at the feeling of Iwaizumi doing this sort of thing to him again, and he reached up, clinging to Iwaizumi’s shoulder and side just for something to anchor himself, to keep him in the reality of this, ensuring it wasn’t a dream. Iwaizumi only bit and sucked hard enough on Oikawa’s neck to leave tiny marks that would probably fade in an hour or so. Oikawa unconsciously slid his hand up to the back of his head and huffed a stuttered breath. “Harder,” he found himself uttering breathlessly before he even realised he was speaking out loud. Iwaizumi exhaled sharply against his neck, which of course sent a flare of goosebumps down Oikawa’s arms, and he obliged with another gentle nip to his skin - teasing Oikawa to an extent that he could barely handle. He groaned in frustration and gripped a handful of Iwaizumi’s hair. “Harder Iwa-chan,” he urges, “Please I can’t take it like this.”

The moment he said that, he could feel the way Iwaizum’s body went rigid with arousal. His cock, pressed against Oikawa’s thigh through their pants, twitched and hardened, and his hand tightened painfully in Oikawa’s hair at the same time that he clamped his mouth down on the side of Oikawa’s neck, now finished with teasing him. Oikawa gasped and groaned at the feeling of Iwaizumi once again sucking bruises into his skin, biting hard and sending shocking waves of pleasure and pain through Oikawa’s body. No one else could ever reduce Oikawa to a writhing, moaning mess this quickly, but he liked that Iwaizumi could do this to him. And with Iwaizumi, it didn’t feel violating - like anyone would think it would - it felt freeing, and Oikawa wanted nothing more than to submit to the feeling of Iwaizumi’s hands holding him down, and him leaving bruises on his skin.

He could feel his legs opening wider the harder Iwaizumi sucked on his neck, until his skin began to throb and ache and he could feel bruises blooming there that he knew would last for at least a week. Iwaizumi shifted over and settled snugly between Oikawa’s now spread legs, which had the effect of lining up their rapidly-swelling erections up through their clothes. Both of them inhaled at the sensation of it, and Oikawa twitched a little. He then chuckled, but let his head thump back against the soft pillows below him, and released a shuddering sigh that turned into a groan when Iwaizumi rolled his hips, only barely thrusting forward, but creating small pulses that nudged their groins together through their clothes just enough to be a torturously teasing sensation. Oikawa gasped and tucked his face into the side of Iwaizumi’s neck, clinging to him as arousal coiled low in his abdomen. Iwaizumi reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair again, yanking his head back one more time and pulling another half-moan/half-chuckle from Oikawa’s throat. Iwaizumi’s other hand started to unbutton Oikawa’s shirt and he bit at his prominent collarbone, sliding his tongue into the dip at the base of his husband's neck.

Oikawa swallowed, his throat rippled with the movement, and Iwaizumi gentled his touch, only slightly; kissing up Oikawa’s neck to the hinge of his jaw, then across his cheek and back to his lips. Both of them inhaled; slow and deep when they were finally kissing again, Iwaizumi’s tongue dipped inside Oikawa’s mouth. Somehow, Iwaizumi still tasted earthy - the same way Oikawa remembered - despite the fact that they had just stuffed themselves full of Stroganoff and should have, logically, tasted like that. Oikawa sighed into Iwaizumi’s mouth, reveling in the flavor, letting himself drown in everything that was Iwaizumi. His smell, his taste, his warmth holding Oikawa down against the bed, the concentrated heat between his legs, which crossed over from teasingly pleasurable into borderline painful.

Iwaizumi’s hand loosened in Oikawa’s hair, which left a numb tingling in his scalp as Iwaizumi broke off the kiss again. Oikawa’s neck arched off the bed, chasing the flavor of his husband’s mouth, but dropped back down again when Iwaizumi started kissing his way down Oikawa’s chest, unbuttoning his shirt in the process, then pushing it off his shoulders when he undid the bottom button. Oikawa lifted his head and looked down at the top of Iwaizumi’s head as he kissed along his hip bone.

Iwaizumi ignored the very obvious tent of Oikawa’s erection through the material of his pants for a moment, choosing instead to grip Oikawa’s thigh, and suck another dark, bordering-on-painful bruise onto the sharp cut of Oikawa’s hip. Oikawa shuddered and clawed at the mattress for something to hold onto, but didn’t take his eyes off of Iwaizumi, off of the way he could only just see the pink strip of Iwaizumi’s tongue darting out to wet his skin, or the way his lips latched onto Oikawa’s hip like a fucking porn star - he had obviously picked up a trick or two since the last time. Oikawa had no idea how Iwaizumi had learned to take him apart so quickly. He had always just been able to.

When Iwaizumi finally hooked his thumbs in the waist of Oikawa’s pants and started to pull them down, Oikawa lifted his ass off the bed in a pathetic attempt to help, and his embarrassingly hard cock sprung free. He wasn’t wearing any boxers since he knew what was going to happen, and god he was thankful for that decision right about now. It was just one less layer between his dick and Iwaizumi’s warm, wet mouth, which seemed like that was where this was going.

He cried out in pleasured surprise when Iwaizumi’s lips wrapped around the head of his dick before Oikawa’s pants were even below his knees, and his head fell back against the pillows again. He hadn’t expected that to happen so fast. He tried to buck up into the tight heat, but Iwaizumi abandoned in favour of trying to get Oikawa’s pants off all the way, then held him down with one hand on his hips, keeping Oikawa completely still while he swirled his tongue around the head of his cock, teasing the slit and creating an almost unbearable tightness as he sucked. Oikawa tried to say something, to crack a joke or something because he was slightly embarrassed by how easily Iwaizumi had pulled him apart, but all that came out was an incoherent jumble of syllables that fade off into a deep groan as Iwaizumi finally started to sink down, Oikawa’s cock sliding into his mouth one torturous millimeter at a time. His hands flew up to the back of Iwaizumi’s head, and he lost all capability of intelligent thought as he pushed down, urging for more, wanting this to last forever and yet praying for the almost unbearable pleasure to end all in the same moment. Iwaizumi chuckled around the girth of Oikawa’s not-inconsiderable length, and the vibration of it had Oikawa moaning out loud again, practically sobbing, and his cheeks flushed with the heat. He could feel the ripple of Iwaizumi’s throat as he all but swallowed Oikawa, and he melted backwards into the bed.

Iwaizumi reached up and grabbed both of Oikawa’s wrists in one hand, removing his hands from the back of his head and pinning them both to the side in an iron grip. Oikawa twisted his wrists in Iwaizumi’s grasp half-heartedly, but didn’t otherwise try to get free, just allowed Iwaizumi to take over the way he usually did, forcing himself to keep his hips firmly planted on the bed. Iwaizumi hated it when Oikawa bucked into him when he was doing this, so Oikawa always tried to keep some level of self control when his husband was doing this. Iwaizumi bobbed his head slowly a few times, teasing his tongue along the sensitive bundle of nerves just beneath the head of his cock on every pass up. Oikawa felt lost in the moment, drowning in the sensation. His whole body twitched as he felt his climax bubbling over in his gut. He felt the burning, aching, unbearable pleasure spiking, and he gasped out an almost inaudible “Wait!”, clenching his jaw to try and keep himself from coming right then and there.

He could feel the way Iwaizumi was smiling as he immediately pulled off, leaving Oikawa’s aching dick wet and heavy between them, and the cold air of the house successfully staved off his orgasm as it hit the saliva-covered flesh. Oikawa exhaled heavily, panting and twitching, keeping his eyes squeezed shut tightly. He could feel his pulse in his erection, and it was torture, but he didn’t want this to be over that quickly, not after it had been so long. But it was no surprise he had come so close, so fast - he had been touch starved for almost half a year.

Iwaizumi crawled back up his body and settled over Oikawa again, being careful to keep from brushing up against his over-sensitized cock too much. Oikawa opened his eyes as Iwaizumi started nipping gently at his neck again. “Someone’s responsive,” Iwaizumi murmured against his skin, almost like he was in awe, and Oikawa flushed again.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so good at sucking dick, then,” Oikawa grumbled back, and Iwaizumi chuckled against his throat, kissing it one more time before pushing up to hover over Oikawa, looking down at him with bright eyes that are full of so much affection that Oikawa  _ almost _ shied away.  _ Almost _ . But, instead, he just stared back, taking in the sight of that emerald green. It was the first thing about Iwaizumi that Oikawa noticed, the first thing he started to love. He saw the bright, inhuman green all the way across the playground the first time he ever saw Iwaizumi when they were kids. And now, there they were, inches away from his face, looking darker and deeper in the light of the moon coming in through their bedroom window. Oikawa stared up at him, and felt every bit of tension in his body draining away. Like looking into his eyes was salvation in of itself. It was such a weird feeling, but suddenly Oikawa didn’t even remember the day, or what problems the two of them had faced, or that there was ever anything bad in the world to begin with. He felt like he was flying, all from looking into those big green eyes.

He barely took a moment to think before speaking, “I want you to do it.”

Iwaizumi grinned, knowing what he wanted, but wanting him to say it himself “Do what?”

Oikawa swallowed, then smiled back at him. “Fuck me,” he said with almost no hesitation, it had been a long time, but still he slumped back into the bed and swallowed hard. “I went to the grocery store while you were at work today and picked up some stuff,” he said, leaning up and slipping out from under Iwaizumi for a moment. He stood up, and pulled his shirt off completely, then reached into his bedside table, pulling out some lube and condoms. “I know we don’t usually use condoms, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want to or not, so I got some to be safe.”

Iwaizumi’s lips quirked into a small, lopsided smile, and Oikawa had to keep himself from staring at them so he wouldn’t lunge forward and kiss Iwaizumi again. His dick was still heavy and aching between his legs. He grinned and willingly opened his mouth as Iwaizumi kissed him again, dipping his tongue inside much more gently than before. He used the force of the kiss to slowly tip Oikawa back, and he obliged; laying back down on the bed again, and spreading his legs to allow room so Iwaizumi could settle between them once more. Iwaizumi kissed him deeply, and rolled his hips periodically, which slowly brought them both to that edge again.

Oikawa shuddered and clung to Iwaizumi, now able to feel the hard line of his erection through his pants and out of habit he dipped his hands into the waistband, in order to grab handfuls of his husbands bare ass; simultaneously using the grip to pull him firmly down against him. Iwaizumi broke off the kiss, allowing both of them the opportunity to breathe a little, and Iwaizumi’s hand reached out and clutched the bottle of lube that Oikawa had pulled out onto the bedside table. He held it up, and examined the label before chucking and looking down at Oikawa. “Any particular reason you decided on watermelon?” he asked, and Oikawa snorted.

“I guess I had that night on the beach in California in my head, and just went with the smell I remembered.” Iwaizumi laughed before reaching down and running his fingers gently through Oikawa’s hair then softly placed a kiss on his lips. 

“Well, this moment is another perfect one, so pairing the two is fine with me.” He responded, and Oikawa melted back into the mattress, closing his eyes for a moment to try and stave off the remaining nerves. He hated feeling like this. It was Iwaizumi, so he had no reason to feel nervous. But he still did. It had been a while after all.

Iwaizumi kissed him gently for a minute, much less rushed than it was before, and Oikawa melted back into the mood, trying to forget about all his useless worries. He dipped his fingers beneath the waist of Iwaizum’s pants and started to push them down. Iwaizumi didn’t even break off the kiss, just lifted his hips up and allowed Oikawa to push his pants down as far as he could reach. They ended up pooled just above his knees, and he kicked them off the rest of the way without breaking the kiss. Oikawa’s hands then moved up, toying with the buttons on Iwaizumi’s shirt, and undoing them one by one.

Both of them were already close to the edge after only a short amount of time, so they didn’t tease themselves for long. Iwaizumi leant up and pulled off his now unbuttoned shirt, and Oikawa’s dick twitched with excitement. He popped open the bottle and squirted a good amount of the watermelon lube out onto three of his fingers. Oikawa watched him do it, and when there was enough, he tossed the bottle aside for now and dipped his hand between Oikawa’s legs, locking eyes with him. Oikawa stared up at Iwaizumi, shaking minutely, and clinging to his shoulders just for something to hold on to.

He gasped sharply when Iwaizumi’s fingers brushed over his entrance, the gel was ice cold where it touched his overheated skin. Iwaizumi coated Oikawa thoroughly just like he always did, and he paused with the tip of his pointer finger at Oikawa’s entrance and looked down at him. “Remember to tell me if it hurts at any point, okay?” he said. 

Oikawa shook his head, his hips twitching a little. “You won’t hurt me. You never do.” he said breathlessly. And Iwaizumi nodded.

When he pushed his first finger inside, Oikawa gasped sharply, clenching up at first and squeezing his eyes shut at the rush of pleasure that washes through him. “Open your eyes Tooru.” Iwaizumi whispered into his ear, and Oikawa forced himself to open his eyes again. As Iwaizumi continued to push his finger forward, sliding it all the way inside, Oikawa could actually feel his heart start to race, and he gasped and groaned, as sudden, overwhelming arousal hit.

His dick twitched between them as Iwaizumi’s finger was buried to the hilt inside, a drop of precome rolled off the tip and smeared onto his stomach. Iwaizumi left his finger there for a long moment, almost too long, and when Oikawa shifted his hips impatiently, he finally slid it out after pumping it back and forth a few times, only for it to be joined by a second one a few seconds later, stretching him open. It didn’t burn like it did in their first year together, but Oikawa felt the stretch and a groan was all but forced out of him the deeper Iwaizumi’s fingers sank. 

As Iwaizumi pumped his fingers in and out, reaching as deep as possible and scissoring Oikawa open, Oikawa kept his eyes locked on Iwaizumi’s. It was intimate, and he always found that looking into those big green eyes helped to to ground him in the present. Keeping his eyes locked on Iwaizumi’s was like having his brain strapped to an anchor, locking him in the now, and for that, Oikawa was grateful. Somehow, Iwaizumi always just knew exactly what he needed.

Oikawa felt a swell of affection and gratitude and warmth, and he craned his neck up, capturing Iwaizumi’s lips in his own. The kiss dragged a groan out of Iwaizumi, one of the first from him that night, and Oikawa felt a small coil of satisfaction at that. He had been moaning like he was on camera since the moment Iwaizumi pushed him down against the mattress, so it was about time he pulled a reaction out of Iwaizumi.

When Iwaizumi finally pulled out his two fingers and went to add a third, Oikawa reached between them and spoke softly, “It’s okay, I’m ready. Do it.”

Iwaizumi’s forehead creased in concern. “Are you sure? You’re not loose enough yet.”

Oikawa shook his head, pulling Iwaizumi down by the back of the neck and crushing their mouths together, another drop of precome beaded from his dick as he bucked his hips upwards against Iwaizumi’s straining erection. He thrusted a few times, dragging their groins together and groaning, ready to just feel Iwaizumi again.

“I’m sure.” He smiled. “I wanna be tight for you,” Oikawa whispered breathlessly when they finally pulled apart, and Iwaizumi’s already-wide pupils dilated impossibly more, his cheeks flushed with heavier arousal. He nodded, and Oikawa took pride in the fact that Iwaizumi was having as hard a time as he was with keeping hold of his control in the face of such overwhelming arousal. But then, Iwaizumi had always been really good at control. He’d made that very clear over their years together.

He pulled his fingers out from between Oikawa’s legs, and Oikawa handed him the bottle of lube again. “Use a little more,” he requested with a hard swallow. Really, all he wanted was to feel the burn of Iwaizumi spearing him open. He watched hungrily as Iwaizumi squirted another dollop of lube onto his fingers and coated his dick with it, spreading it all around. Then, he shifted down and lined himself up with Oikawa’s clenching hole. Oikawa angled his hips upwards, and wriggled forward a bit, gasping when he felt the head of Iwaizumi’s dick brush his entrance. His whole body was twitching with the need to have Iwaizumi inside him already.

Iwaizumi leant down, pressing his lips to Oikawa’s for a moment. “Ready?” he asked, and Oikawa nodded eagerly, recapturing Iwaizumi’s mouth in a deep kiss. Iwaizumi smiled and huffed a small laugh at his husband's obvious desperation.

At the same time as he started to press in, he plunged his tongue into Oikawa’s mouth, mirroring the way his cock was slowly breaching Oikawa’s entrance. Oikawa whimpered as the head of Iwaizumi’s cock pushed inside him with a wet sound. Iwaizumi was packing, and even just the stretch of the head of his dick already started to burn, but Oikawa loved it. He loved every second of it. 

Both of them groaned in unison, swallowing each other’s exhales, as Iwaizumi pressed in, sinking deeper, inch by inch. He was always so careful, so gentle and slow about it. It was so like Iwaizumi; determined to make sure Oikawa wouldn’t get hurt, or that he wasn't going too fast, but the pace would soon pick up, Oikawa knew that. He just had to be patient.

It burned so deliciously, and it felt like it went on forever, but when Iwaizumi finally bottomed out, his balls coming to rest snuggly against Oikawa’s ass, it didn't even feel like it was over. Iwaizumi broke off the kiss once he was fully seated inside Oikawa, groaning lowly, a guttural sound that made Oikawa shudder and caused another bead of precome to roll off the tip of his dick. Iwaizumi buried his head in the side of Oikawa’s neck, his lips coming to rest against the dark, aching bruise he left on his husband's skin only a few minutes earlier.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he groaned, and his hips jerked a little and forcing his cock deeper. Oikawa groaned, feeling every inch of Iwaizumi moving inside him.

“Told you,” he laughed, his voice strained as he panted. Iwaizumi seemed to be forcing himself to remain still, and he pushed himself up for a moment, and looked down into Oikawa’s eyes, brushing his fringe back from his forehead.

“Still okay?” he asked, ever concerned about him. Oikawa rolled his eyes, reached down and grabbed Iwaizumi’s ass, giving no warning before pulling him in, sinking Iwaizumi’s dick as deep as it would possibly go. He cried out, almost pathetically, and fell down onto his elbow, once again burying his face in Oikawa’s neck.

“Iwa-Chan, we’ve done this a thousand times before,” he groaned, trying to hang on to that last little bit of control, “Now fuck me.” He insisted.

Iwaizumi panted raggedly, pushing himself up again as Oikawa lay there and stared up at him, breathing hard, waiting for him to move. Iwaizumi grabbed that same handful of Oikawa’s hair again and yanked his head back, pulling another moan out of Oikawa even though he knew it was coming. Then, at the same time Iwaizumi bit down on the side of Oikawa’s neck again, he pulled his cock halfway out and slammed it back in.

Oikawa cried out again, his body jolted with the roughness of the thrust, dizzying pleasure drowned him in waves. Like usual, Iwaizumi didn’t give him even a second to recover from the sudden change in pace. He just pulled out and snapped back in again, setting up a brutal rhythm. On each pass, he pulled out almost all the way, and then plunged back into the hilt, and it was almost too quick a pace for Oikawa’s jumbled mind to keep up with.

A long, keening moan was forced out of his throat, his voice bounced with the pace of the thrusts, and God, his mind could barely even function well enough to allow him to breathe at this point. All he could do was lay here and take it as Iwaizumi continued to pound into him as he had practically begged him to do seconds earlier. 

Iwaizumi recovered partway through, just enough to regain the mental capacity to slow his thrusts just a bit so they could drag this out, so he could tease Oikawa more than he could handle. Oikawa could feel tears beading at the corners of his eyes, he had become overwhelmed by the mix of sensations - the pleasurable pain in his scalp, the ache of Iwaizumi’s mouth sucking bruises on his neck, the burning stretch of his husband’s cock pounding into him, and the overwhelming pleasure caused by the friction his dick was getting between them.

Iwaizumi lifted off of him for a moment, slowing the pace of his thrusts, and he reached back with one hand, taking Oikawa’s hands off of his ass and pulling them forward. He wrapped one hand around each of Oikawa’s wrists and pinned them above his head, effectively holding him down. He twisted his wrists just a little, as if testing how hard Iwaizumi was gripping, but he only held him tighter, leaning down within a centimeter of his face and locking eyes with him. Oikawa could do nothing but stare back, eyes widened with shock at the sudden change in Iwaizumi’s demeanor. He went from loving and tender to brutal and relentless in two seconds flat, and Oikawa loved every second of it. It always turned out this way, it was like Iwaizumi had a switch in his brain, and the moment he knew Oikawa was okay, he always turned like this, and fuck, it just made Oikawa want more.

His moans were swallowed by Iwaizumi’s mouth pressing to his again, and he snapped his hips forward and back, changing the angle slightly. His cock bumped up against Oikawa’s prostate, and Oikawa’s entire body bucked upwards as he cried out in pleasure, his vision was whiting out at the sensation. The way Iwaizumi smiled against his lips was an indication that he knew exactly what he just did, and to Oikawa’s dismay, he did it again. And again. And again.

He pounded straight down on Oikawa’s prostate, buried deep inside, and the only sounds that filled their room was their ragged pants, skin slapping skin, and Oikawa’s shameless moans and cries as he arched off the mattress, his hands clenched into tight fists, gripping the pillows above him where Iwaizumi was holding them down. He could feel his climax building low in his abdomen, and he knew he was close; knew it was going to be over soon. As much as he wanted to drag this out, he didn’t think he could take much more.

When Iwaizumi released one of Oikawa’s pinned wrists, their mouths locked together, and he took Oikawa’s cock in hand, stroking it a few times. The velvety flesh was already wet with lube and precome, and Oikawa arched again, his body jolted with every brutal thrust. It only took about a dozen jerks from Iwaizumi’s hand before Oikawa was crying out loudly, the sound muffled and ragged against Iwaizumi’s lips as he spilled his release between their writhing stomachs.

He came so hard it shot all the way up to the base of his neck, his body twitched and jolted from overstimulation as he writhed. Iwaizumi stroked him through the climax, jerking him hard and fast, and then he gripped Oikawa tightly and picked up the pace as he neared his own release. Oikawa could only lay there and try to breathe through each thrust of Iwaizumi’s hips, their flesh slapping together; sounding obscenely loud in the quiet of the bedroom.

As Iwaizumi picked up the pace to finish, Oikawa rolled his hips a bit in a pathetic attempt to participate. The movement of Oikawa’s hips seemed to be all Iwaizumi needed to push himself over that edge, and he gasped, burying his face in his husband’s neck again and gripping his wrist bone-crushingly tight while he shuddered his release.

Oikawa felt Iwaizumi’s cock twitch inside him, and felt the rhythmic pulse as he came, and Iwaizumi collapsed on top of Oikawa once he finished, both of them breathing hard, completely boneless on the bed. As Oikawa came down from his climax, his numb body slowly returned to reality, and he could feel a pleasant burn in his ass that he knew was going to be sore tomorrow, and for a solid week afterwards. But it was always worth it.

He chuckled a little, breathlessly, staring up at the ceiling and trying to scrape back together the fragments of his dignity that he left behind the moment he started writhing underneath Iwaizumi, begging him to fuck him. Although Iwaizumi certainly didn’t mind. He finally unburied his face from Oikawa’s neck, lifting up to look down at him, both of them flushed and sweaty. Iwaizumi kissed him, much less frantically than before, almost as if it were an apology.

“You good?” he asked, releasing Oikawa’s remaining pinned wrist and rolling to the side so he was now lying next to him instead, on his back but his head facing Oikawa - who was still staring at the ceiling, “I got a little carried away.”

Oikawa chuckled slightly, still breathing heavily as he was catching his breath. “God, that was good.” He responded simply, and Iwaizumi smiled, thinking the same thing. After a few seconds Oikawa turned to him, “The face you make is still the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I could say the same thing about you.” Iwaizumi replied, turning his head back up to the ceiling. “You know what we should do?” He asked, seemingly out of the blue. And Oikawa hummed as if he were now too exhausted to speak. “We should get a skylight in here.”

“I agree.”

The two lay next to each other as they both came down from the high of it all. And as their bodies cooled, they could feel the stickiness of Oikawa’s load begin to dry and they took that as the hint to get themselves cleaned up.

The pair showered together, both put on a clean pair of boxers, then snuggled up into bed; Iwaizumi curling into the back of Oikawa. “I’m glad you’re home, Shittykawa.” He said sentimentally, and Oikawa smiled softly at the comment.

“Me too.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super short, but I needed to post something and I am exhausted 💤

Iwaizumi awoke to a face full of Oikawa’s hair. It was something he used to hate, but he had to admit that this morning that small tickle on the end of his nose felt nice. It was a familiar way to wake up, and he embraced every moment of it, squeezing Oikawa tightly as he nuzzled his face into the sea of hair. Oikawa snuggled back into him as he let out a soft hum. “G’morning Iwa-Chan.” He spoke with a clear morning croak in his voice. 

“Morning.” Iwaizumi responded. “How are you feeling? I got a little carried away last night.” He chuckled nervously, and Oikawa rolled over to face him, kissing him gently on the tip of his nose.

“I’m a little sore,” He confessed. “But it’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” He kissed Iwaizumi lazily. And they lay there kissing one another for several minutes, Oikawa dipped in and tasted the morning on Iwaizumi’s tongue, but Iwaizumi restrained himself, not taking it too far. He knew Oikawa was down playing the pain he was in, he tended to do that. So instead, he settled on sliding his hand to the back of Oikawa’s head and ran his fingers through that soft, thick hair, enjoying the kiss his husband initiated. 

Oikawa’s stomach growled and he laughed against Iwaizumi’s lips, pulling back slightly. “Hungry?” Iwaizumi asked, sitting up, and glancing over his shoulder to Oikawa, who stayed lay under the duvet, grinning up at Iwaizumi. “What’re you smiling about?” He scowled slightly. 

“Iwa-chan, are you going to make me breakfast?”

“Of course I am. It’s our tradition, right?” Oikawa tilted his head in confusion. He wasn’t too sure what Iwaizumi meant, but before he had the opportunity to question it, Iwaizumi was already out the room. “Come down in 20 minutes.” He called out behind him, leaving Oikawa cosying under the duvet.

Scratching his chest, Iwaizumi opened the fridge, looking inside for eggs or something else that was easy to whip up. He huffed a small laugh when he realised he hadn’t been to the store in over a week, and it was starting to show in the lack of food options they had. He did, however, find a dozen pack of eggs on the top shelf and pulled out some bacon and cheese with them. It took some time to find the good pan, and then Iwaizumi threw together a couple of quick omelettes and fried up some bacon to go with them.

After he flicked the stove on, he clicked play on the playlist that was playing the previous evening, and the kitchen flooded with music. He hummed to himself under his breath, and belatedly realised that the song playing was Naked by James Arthur. He thought back to the first time Oikawa mentioned something about really liking the song when he first added it to the playlist all those years ago, and it almost made him enjoy it more knowing how much Oikawa liked it. Which was stupid and mushy, but Iwaizumi didn’t care, he just proceeded to hum along to it, and before he knew it, he was starting the song again for the third time, and singing to it as he started plating up their breakfast.

He was just forking the last strip of bacon out of the pan, fully immersed in the music, not even realising how passionately he was singing, when he heard slight shuffling behind him, and glanced back to see Oikawa sitting at the breakfast bar, smiling contently, all sleep rumpled and adorable. His hair was sticking up in every direction, and he was beaming up at him. “I forgot how much I adore your singing.” He said as Iwaizumi placed his breakfast in front of him, blushing at the compliment.

“Shut up, Trashykawa.” He said, as he smiled softly at his disheveled husband. “Eat your eggs.” Iwaizumi insisted, before sitting next to him, and chatting mindlessly as they ate. Oikawa moaned around the first forkful of omelet, and Iwaizumi glared at him. “Do you have to make such sexual noises while we have breakfast?” He asked, a tone in his voice that egged Oikawa on, causing the setter to make more sensual noises that started to make Iwaizumi twitch. Then Iwaizumi leant forward, closing the small gap between them, and Oikawa let out a startled noise of surprise as Iwaizumi leaned in and kissed him deeply, almost too roughly for how tired they both were. He pulled back after only a few seconds, and grinned as Oikawa sat there, unsure how to react as Iwaizumi turned back to his breakfast, and continued eating. 

“Iwa-chan, you can’t just do that to me.” Oikawa complained, and Iwaizumi smirked in response and shrugged his shoulders, acting oblivious to what he had just done. “Don’t make me get you back.” Oikawa teased, and Iwaizumi chuckled slightly, stating that that wasn’t possible because he had far more self control than Oikawa, and he wouldn’t be distracted from everyday life so easily, which Oikawa took as a challenge.

They spent the rest of the day together, Iwaizumi doing household chores, as Oikawa followed him around, trying his best to distract him with no success. He gave up after a few hours and threw himself on the couch, feet up, pulling out his phone to scroll through Twitter, looking at the team page, just awaiting the official announcement that he had quit. They had put up quite a bit recently on the run up to the start of the season, which was only days away now, and he was just waiting for the official statement of who his replacement was going to be. It wasn’t over until that was announced. Things had been great with Iwaizumi for the past few days, but that could all change in a moment, and until that announcement came, he still had a safety net. “What’re you reading?” Iwaizumi pulled him out of his trance-like state, leaning over him from behind the couch, and Oikawa smiled up at him. He knew he had to be honest here, but he didn’t want to hurt Iwaizumi by admitting he had a backup plan.

“I’m just curious to see who they’re replacing me with in Argentina. I was looking to see if it was announced yet.” He admitted as he moved his feet off the sofa, and put his arm across the back, inviting his husband to sit next to him, an opportunity the athletic trainer took, leaning against Oikawa who wrapped his arm around his shoulder. The two sat quietly in each other’s company, content and peaceful. 

“Tooru?” Iwaizumi asked after a short while. 

“Yeah?”

“Why did you keep me waiting for so long?” And there it was. The question he knew was coming, but was afraid of. The one question he needed an answer to that he didn’t have. And he couldn’t wing it here, Iwaizumi would know.

“Honestly? I don’t know.” He confessed. “I think it must have been a combination of the fear of losing out on my dream, and the fact that I kept getting away with it.” Iwaizumi seemed satisfied with that response, but Oikawa didn’t especially want to leave it there. “It was only when you sent the papers that I realised what I stood to lose. And nothing is worth that. Nothing is worth losing you over, Haji.”

Iwaizumi lay himself on Oikawa’s legs so he was now looking up at the setter, as the latter stroked his hair. “If it’s not worth losing it, why did you risk it?” He questioned curiously.

Oikawa sighed deeply. “I didn’t think you’d go through with it.” He admitted, and Iwaizumi nodded in understanding. He’d threatened to leave him in the past but never went through with it before this. “Can I ask, what was the pushing factor this time? Why’d you go through with it?” It was a risky question, but Iwaizumi seemed up for talking about it at this point. 

“The fact that you let me find out through a press conference.” He said, simply. “You made me feel like I wasn’t even worth a phone call to you.” He continued. “That hurt more than anything.” Iwaizumi was being honest here, and the fact that he didn’t struggle with saying any of it showed that he wanted Oikawa to know he had hurt him - which he did - and it showed that when Oikawa asked for honesty both ways, Iwaizumi fully took that on board. 

“Haji, I’m so sorry for that. And I’m so sorry that I made you feel like that.” He looked down at Iwaizumi, who had his eyes closed, leaning into the soft touch of Oikawa’s fingers running through his hair. “I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted you to feel second best. I’m sorry that it ended up that way.” He apologised, gently. Iwaizumi smiled softly, a forgiving smile that Oikawa understood.

He opened his eyes, and was met with the sorry look displayed on his husband's face, and he reached his hand up, cupping Oikawa’s cheek in his palm, and Oikawa leaned into the gentle hold. “Tooru, I forgive you.” He stated simply, and Oikawa’s eyes widened in slight shock at the statement. “I want to move on. I want to be ‘us’ again. And the only way to get that, is to forgive you, and put this behind us.” Oikawa placed his forehead against Iwaizumi’s, and smiled softly.

“I love you, Iwa-Chan.”

“I love you too, Tooru.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set two years after the last chapter.  
> MatsuHana wedding.  
> Speech contest.  
> IwaOi Smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will only be two more chapters after this, but i really hope that you have enjoyed this fic so far!

“Iwa-Chan!” Oikawa called through the house. “Are you wearing your good suit?” He asked as he walked into their room, toying with his tie in a failing attempt to tie it straight. He glanced up from where his hands were fidgeting to see his husband standing in a dress shirt and tight pants that fit him just right, putting on cufflinks, and he froze in awe at how good he looked.

Iwaizumi looked over at Oikawa and smiled. “You look good.” He commented as he walked over to him and reached up to fix his husband's tie, and Oikawa placed his hands on Iwaizumis hips, looking down at him. “Can you believe this day is here already?” He chuckled slightly as he asked. “Hanamaki and Matsukawa finally tying the knot.” He looked up at Oikawa as he smoothed his tie down against his chest, wrapping his hands around Oikawa’s neck as the latter pulled him in closely. “It’s also been two years today since we shredded the papers.” He commented, pushing himself up on his toes and kissing Oikawa passionately. It was deep, but gentle. They didn’t want to accidentally fall into anything more than this as they were strapped time.

“Iwa-Chan?” Oikawa asked, pulling back slightly, and Iwaizumi hummed, questioningly. “Do you think maybe we can start talking about expanding our family?” Iwaizumi’s eyes widened with excitement.

“As in, having a kid?” He asked, curiously.

“Yeah.” Oikawa confirmed. “I think I want a kid.” He smiled, and Iwaizumi beamed back at him. “Iwa-Chan, let's adopt.”

Before Iwaizumi had the opportunity to respond, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He chuckled and sighed as he pulled it out, seeing it was Matsukawa calling, then looked back up at Oikawa. “We’ll talk about this more later?” Oikawa nodded, and Iwaizumi smiled as he answered the phone. “Whats up Matsukawa?” He started, getting into a conversation with the groom to be about what time they would be there, and confirming that Iwaizumi would be collecting him as Oikawa picked up Hanamaki. He hung up after a few minutes, turning to see Oikawa still standing there, leaning against the doorframe, gazing at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He questioned softly.

“I love you, Hajime.” He smiled. It was a statement that seemed to come out of the blue, but it was one that made Iwaizumi flush slightly, even after all this time. It was more the way he was looking at him that hit Iwaizumi, rather than what he had said. Oikawa walked over to Iwaizumi, placing one hand on his hip, and one on his cheek. “How the hell did I get this lucky?” He spoke as he pulled him in close, and Iwaizumi leaned into him, wrapping his arms around the setter's waist and pushing himself into a hug.

“You made me a promise that you would make it up to me. You’ve done more than that these past two years. Thank you for staying.”

Oikawa smiled as he held his husband. “Hajime, I love you. I’ll find somewhere in Japan that’ll let me play soon. I know I will. I just have to keep at it. But even if I don’t ever play again, that doesn’t matter.” Oikawa pulled back and lifted Iwaizumi’s chin so the pair were making eye contact. “You mean  _ everything  _ to me. You’ve pulled me back from the brink countless times. If I never play professionally again, so be it. I have you, that’s all that’s important to me.” He placed a gentle kiss on Iwaizumi’s forehead, then rested his own against it, holding him in a close embrace.

The two stood together for a few moments, just appreciating one another. “Fuck.” Iwaizumi said, breaking the silence. “You’re so gonna beat me at this best man speech thing.” Oikawa chuckled at the serious tone in Iwaizumi’s voice, and Iwaizumi punched his shoulder and pulled out of his grasp, and walked over to the closet, pulling out his suit jacket and pulling it on. “Damn it Shittykawa, I worked on this toast for weeks, and you’re gonna kick my ass with a speech that you haven’t even written.” Oikawa laughed again, and Iwaizumi glared at him. “What’s so funny?”

“Iwa-chan.” Oikawa started calmly, as he approached Iwaizumi and held his arms gently. “You think I’d just leave something as important as this to the last second?” Iwaizumi glanced at him, glaring as if the question was ridiculous. “Come on, do you really think that little of me?” Oikawa teased. “Iwa-chan, I have a speech prepared.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “You know, pretty soon you won’t be able to call me ‘Iwa-chan’ anymore.” He pointed out, and Oikawa frowned.

“Can’t I just take your name? I don’t wanna stop calling you Iwa-chan.” Oikawa whined, and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. 

“We’ve talked about this, Tooru.” Iwaizumi started, calmly. “Your name is your career. It’s much bigger than us. My name is irrelevant, it’s not important.” 

Oikawa looked at him sympathetically, and placed his hand on Iwaizumi’s cheek. “Your name is  _ not  _ irrelevant.” He stated firmly. “I’m happy you want to take my name, I am. But it’s been seven years, Iwa-chan. You don’t  _ have  _ to change your name if you don’t want to. Everyone knows we’re married now anyway, so it wouldn’t make too much of a difference if you didn’t.” His words sounded sincere, but the look in his eyes was disappointment at the suggestion he had just made. It was clear he wanted them to share a name, and he knew Iwaizumi wouldn’t let him give his up, but he also didn’t want Iwaizumi to give up his family name just for Oikawa’s sake. 

“I want your name, Tooru. I want to be Hajime Oikawa.” He smiled, and leant into Oikawa’s touch. “All I need to do is sign a few things at city hall, and it’ll all be official. I just haven’t had the time to go down there just yet, but I promise you, the moment I get the chance, I’ll be down thee to change it.” Oikawa smiled at him and leant down, kissing him gently. It was the type of kiss that could have easily led into something more, but they both held back just enough to not allow that to happen. They didn’t have the time, but they would later. So they would save it until then. 

***

The ceremony was beautiful. Oikawa cried when Matsukawa read his vows - for someone who acted so tough, he had a soft side when it came to Hanamaki, and it showed today more than it ever had before. Iwaizumi choked up slightly, but managed to hold back the tears.

“So, which one of you is gonna give the first speech?” Hanamaki questioned as they stood outside the church after the ceremony was complete. “I mean, you two going head to head to see who can make the best speech? That’s what the point of this whole wedding is.”

Iwaizumi chuckled, and rolled his eyes. “Really? The reason you got married was for us to compete against each other?”

“Absolutely not.” Matsukawa defended. “We got married because we love each other.” He wrapped his arm around Hanamaki and smiled softly at him, and Iwaizumi smiled too, the two of them were made for each other, and it was good to see them together. “We had a big wedding to see you two compete against one another.” Hanamaki chuckled after Matsukawa spoke, and Iwaizumi shook his head as Oikawa threw his arm over his shoulder.

“Guys, that’s insane.” Oikawa insisted.

“Thank you.” Iwaizumi said, relieved that he wasn’t the only one that thought this.

“Of course I’ll beat Iwa-Chan. It’s no contest.” He smiled, and Iwaizumi elbowed him in the ribs. “Ouch. Iwa-Chan. So mean.” He whined, and the other three laughed at the slightly keeled over Oikawa.

“Shut up, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi slapped him on the back as an almost apology, and Oikawa stood up. “And to answer your question Hanamaki, I’ll be speaking first. Oikawa claims to have actually written a speech, but there’s a possibility he just stole mine.” He glanced at Oikawa, who was smirking at him.

***

Iwaizumi inhaled deeply. This wasn’t the first time he had spoken in public, but it had certainly been a while. The room was silent. All eyes were on him. And Iwaizumi could feel his heart beating in his throat. There was no reason for him to be nervous - it wasn’t like anyone here would care if he messed up - but he could feel the panic start to take over. He was close to losing it when he felt a soft touch against his hand. His head snapped towards the touch, and Oikawa was smiling up at him. A wave of calm suddenly washed over him as his husband looked up at him, lovingly, and Iwaizumi was suddenly filled with the confidence he had needed for this.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” He started, knowing how cliche it was. “My name is Hajime Iwaizumi. My husband is Tooru Oikawa. And Hanamaki and Matsukawa are my closest friends.” He chuckled slightly to himself as he looked across the sea of somewhat bored faces. “And this is the worst start to a speech ever.” Matsukawa laughed at the acknowledgement, which relieved Iwaizumi slightly. “So when I was writing this speech, I was thinking back to different stories I could tell about my friend Matsukawa here, and there were a few that crossed my mind.” He smirked slightly. “I could talk about the trip to Peru, when he got arrested for stealing a motorcycle. Or the time he came to visit me in California and got so drunk that he took a nosedive off the bars balcony, smack onto the beach. Or there’s that time in highschool when he spent eight weeks setting up the ‘perfect prank’ for Oikawa, and managed to fool him into thinking aliens were invading.”

“Hey. That could have happened!” Oikawa interrupted, and the whole room chuckled slightly.

“Shut up, Trashykawa.” Iwaizumi responded, before going back to his speech. “There were hundreds of funny stories about Matsukawa that I could have chosen - hundreds of things he’s done that would embarrass him right now. But instead I decided that I’d tell one that happened two nights ago, at Matsukawa’s bachelor party.” He glanced over at the groom in question, and smirked.

“Oh god, here we go.” Matsukawa chuckled as he sat himself up in his seat - not too sure what to expect.

“You see, ladies and gentlemen,” Iwaizumi continued, “Matsukawa here doesn’t remember anything from that night as he was plastered before we even got started. But I haven’t had a drop in about two years now, so I remember it as clear as day. And, honestly? The speech that he gave that night, the speech about his true feelings, I have never in my life heard something more honest and pure. And I thought instead of my own words about how I  _ think _ he feels, I would read out his drunken, truth filled words, and let him speak for himself.” Iwaizumi pulled a small sheet of paper out of his breast pocket, and cleared his throat before starting. “‘Hiro is the best person I know. He’s genuine, kind, and pure. He’s honest. And he deserves a hell of a lot better than me. But I won’t ever give him up, even if I think there’s better out there for him, I won’t ever let the better take him. Instead, I’ll be better. I’ll become the type of person that he deserves. Sometimes I know it’s hard for him to love me, I can see it in his eyes when I come home late, or when I say something rude about someone, or when I start an argument over something that doesn’t need arguing. It’s a hard reality to grasp, but Hiro gets it. Love doesn’t make the horrible parts of people nice, in fact, it can ruin everything - make those bad parts seem even worse somehow. It makes you vulnerable; breaks your heart. It makes the easy things a mess. And we aren't perfect. I’m a mess, a wreck. I’ve ruined myself, and I’m terrified that I’ll ruin him too. But he doesn’t see it that way. No, he loves me despite all of that. And the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. And that's the kind of person that's worth sticking with. So I’ll become worthy of that if it’s the last thing I do.’” He folded the paper, and placed it back into his pocket. Matsukawa was smiling softly at Hanamaki, who had a tear trickling down his cheek at the words of adoration that his husband had spoken only days earlier. “Matsukawa, I can honestly say, I have never met a man more deserving of Hanamaki’s love than you. You may not believe me, but you are the  _ best  _ person I know. And I can say with one hundred percent certainty that Hanamaki agrees with me. You two have earned each other. And you have proven yourselves to each other over the years. So, everyone,” He picked up his glass, and turned to the room. “I’d like you all to join me in raising a glass to Matsukawa and Hanamaki. From all of us, to the two of you, congratulations!” The room repeated in unison. “You make us all strive to be better. We love you guys.”

The room applauded as Iwaizumi sat back down, smirking at Oikawa as he did so. Oikawa glared back at him. “What’re you smirking about?” He questioned.

“Beat that, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi teased, and Oikawa grinned.

“Oh I plan to.” He chuckled as he stood to take the microphone himself. “Alright, guys and gals. That was an emotional rollercoaster, so let’s lighten the mood a little. Some of you already know me, for those who don’t: you’re lucky.” Iwaizumi chuckled, and Oikawa smiled slightly, his confidence increasing. “Anyway, hi everyone, I’m Oikawa, I’m the better best man – although I think I was picked by default since Mattsun chose first, and Makki doesn’t really have any other friends. To be honest, all of Iwa-Chan’s words rang true. These two do belong together.” He turned and smiled at the pair:- a smile that started off kind, but turned into a menacing grin after a few seconds. “After all, they’re both as mind numbingly stupid as the other.” The crowd chuckled and Oikawa's confidence grew, a trait that showed as he continued to speak. “Sure, Makki’s never been arrested, or punched himself in the face whilst diving headfirst into a child's ball pit while shitfaced, but I’ve watched him do some dumb shit. One of the funniest things I have ever witnessed was in our first year of high school, and Makki invited all three of us to his place. We rented a shitty movie and made a pizza. When the oven beeped and the pizza was done, this dumbass looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is the worst part.” I then watched this fucking moron open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs.” Everyone laughed, and Hanamaki flushed with embarrassment. “Or there was that time less than a week later that his bagel got stuck in the toaster, and the dumb fuck stuck a knife in there to pull it out.” It was nice to hear people laughing, and through the embarrassment on his face, Hanamaki was chuckling too. “But in all seriousness, I’m not just here to embarrass my friend. I told you these things to highlight the importance of their relationship with each other. Makki learnt to do less of this stupid shit because Mattsun. And Mattsun hasn’t been arrested in over seven years. They make each other better. And they make the people around them better. And so,” Oikawa lifted his champagne flute up into the air. “I raise a glass to Mattsun and Makki. To the most stable relationship I have ever known. To them.” The room chanted back in unison and Oikawa sat back down, smirking at Iwaizumi. His speech was shorter, but Oikawa was sure he had won.

***

Oikawa drank a lot as the night went on, and Iwaizumi looked after him as he did. Iwaizumi didn’t drink much anymore, but something about the way Oikawa acted when he had too much made Iwaizumi soft. Oikawa got sleepy and cuddly when he was drunk, and it made Iwaizumi want to take care of him - he was also more honest after a night out so it gave Iwaizumi the opportunity to find out if there was anything worrying his husband that he could take care of for him.

Iwaizumi knew it was time to go when Oikawa was falling asleep against his shoulder. He smiled down at his husband and nudged him awake slightly “Tooru.” He whispered and Oikawa hummed in acknowledgement of his name being said. “Are you ready to go home?” He asked, and Oikawa nodded gently, then proceeded to stay still, which made Iwaizumi chuckle slightly. “Are you gonna get up then?” He smiled down at him and Oikawa frowned.

“Iwa-chan.” He whined, “Carry me?” Iwaizumi smirked as he rolled his eyes and picked up his husband who proceeded to curl into him comfortably. “I love you, Haji.” He said quietly and slurred, and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but smile contently.

He said goodbye to Matsukawa and Hanamaki, who laughed at how wasted Oikawa was. He got him into the car and drove them both home, looking at Oikawa for a few moments after pulling into the driveway. “Tooru?” He spoke gently; Oikawa didn’t respond. “Oi, Shittykawa.” He spoke louder as he shook Oikawa awake.

“Huh? What?” Oikawa snapped into consciousness. “Haji? Everything okay?” He asked, and Iwaizumi looked at him softly.

“Yeah. Everything’s good.” He said, a sly look on his face.

Oikawa looked at him confused, “You called me ‘Shittykawa’ and shook me awake?” He slurred slightly and rubbed his eyes, taking a quick look around to see that they were home. “Oh.” He said simply and smirked at the way Iwaizumi was looking at him. “Iwa-Chan, are you thinking about doing some filthy things to me?” He teased.

Iwaizumi laughed, then bit his bottom lip as he looked Oikawa up and down. “Well, if you think you’re sober enough-” He started before being interrupted.

“Oh I’m always sober enough for  _ that. _ ” He flirted, flinging open his car door, and practically jumping out of the car and bounding to the front door. Iwaizumi laughed and got out, walking up the drive as Oikawa was practically bouncing like a puppy waiting to go inside. “Come on Iwa-Chan, let's do this.” Iwaizumi laughed as he unlocked the front door and Oikawa bolted upstairs, shouting down behind him “Hurry up Iwa-Chan! We need to flip a coin!”

Iwaizumi locked the front door and set the alarm system, then followed after his husband, pulling out a coin as he entered their room, seeing his husband already shirtless and lay sideways on their bed, a smile plastered across his face. “Heads it's me, tails it’s you, yeah?” Oikawa nodded and Iwaizumi flipped the coin, catching it and preparing to reveal it. He glanced down at the coin that clearly displayed heads, then looked up at his clearly excited partner. He knew what Oikawa wanted here, and it’d be cruel to take that from him. “It’s tails.” He stated simply and his husband's face lit up.

“That means that I’m in charge tonight.” He nelt up and Iwaizumi moved closer, allowing Oikawa to pull him in by his suit jacket as he approached the bed. Oikawa claimed his lips with his own. The kiss started out innocent and sweet, but got sloppy and open mouthed very fast. Iwaizumi guided Oikawa’s tongue into his mouth to suck on it, and Oikawa’s mouth tasted like whiskey and coke. Finally Iwaizumi was fully immersed in the moment they had both been awaiting since that morning, and Oikawa’s body pushing against his felt just right. He melted into the kiss, softly biting on Oikawa’s lower lip. Oikawa groaned and pulled his body closer, pushing off Iwaizumi’s blazer, and unbuttoning his waist coat, followed by the shirt. Skin against skin was what Oikawa was craving, and after pulling Iwaizumi’s shirt off of him, he moaned quietly, and pushed his hips to meet Iwaizumi’s.

Their kiss was broken by Oikawa trailing his lips down to Iwaizumi’s neck, suckling on the skin as he travelled down,sliding off the bed onto the floor. He stopped to unbutton Iwaizumi’s pants, and glanced up at him as he pulled down his pants and boxers, allowing Iwaizumi’s already hard cock to spring free. He started planting kisses across his husband's hips, and Iwaizumi buried his fingers in Oikawa’s hair. He couldn’t believe how good Oikawa’s hair felt in his fingers, so he lifted his other hand to touch it too. He caressed the hair with both hands and moaned, when Oikawa sucked a bruise onto his hip bone. Iwaizumi felt Oikawa’s head retreat, and the setter stood, looking Iwaizumi in the eyes as he turned them both and pushed his husband backwards so he fell onto the bed, then Oikawa knelt down again, resuming his kisses along Iwaizumi’s skin, starting at his stomach and working his way back down. His lips stopped to suck on Iwaizumi’s thigh. Iwaizumi’s legs jolted at the feeling, and Oikawa giggled.

“Shit, Tooru,” Iwaizumi moaned keenly.

Oikawa’s left hand was holding still Iwaizumi’s right leg, and his mouth continued to suck bruises up the inner of his left thigh. Iwaizumi opened his legs a little more to allow Oikawa’s hand to find its way closer to where he wanted it.

“Fuck, stop teasing me,” Iwaizumi groaned, when Oikawa moved his lips to higher up Iwaizumi’s inner thigh and sucked hungrily.

“I’m not teasing, Iwa-Chan,” Oikawa mumbled against his skin, “You just have no patience.”

Oikawa glanced up to see the flush that was forming on Iwaizumi’s face. He smiled and licked a trail towards Iwaizumi’s groin. Iwaizumi arched his back in a natural response and tried to roll his hips, but Oikawa’s hands shot up to stop him, pushing his hips back down against the bed. 

“Stay still,” Oikawa said, squeezing Iwaizumi’s hips. Iwaizumi did his best to stop his hips from pressing closer to Oikawa’s face that was now almost to the point he wanted it. He felt his entire body twitch with enthusiasm, and he moaned quietly. Oikawa pressed one last kiss on his hip bone, before opening his mouth and taking Iwaizumi’s cock into his mouth.

“Ah, Tooru”, Iwaizumi breathed out and his hands found a place in Oikawa’s hair again.

Oikawa grunted and sucked his way up Iwaizumi’s length. His tongue circled the tip before his lips slid down again. He swallowed around Iwaizumi’s cock, and Iwaizumi felt a surge of pleasure take over his entire body. Uncontrollably his hips bucked into Oikawa’s mouth, and Oikawa groaned, bobbing his head up and down.

“Shit,” Iwaizumi gasped, as if he were trying to warn his husband of what was coming, and his fingers tightened in Oikawa’s hair, trying to pull him off, but Oikawa just sucked harder in response, and Iwaizumi was soon coming down his throat.

Oikawa sucked on his cock, until Iwaizumi was practically whining with overstimulation. His hips were moving uncontrollably, and he wasn’t quite sure whether he was trying to get away or sink further into Oikawa’s warm, wet mouth.

When Oikawa finally released him with a loud pop, Iwaizumi was close to a writhing mess. Oikawa licked his lips and looked at Iwaizumi, whose chest was heaving with the effort to keep breathing.

“Did you just curse when you came?” He asked with a smirk.

“Don’t lie, you love it,” Iwaizumi breathed back, and before he had a chance to say more, Oikawa’s lips were on his.

There was something incredibly sexy about tasting himself on Oikawa’s lips, and that never failed to excite him more. He licked the lips hungrily before slipping his tongue into Oikawa’s mouth. Oikawa’s hips were pressing against his thigh, and he felt Oikawa’s hard cock sweep over his skin. He turned his body to meet his husband’s hips with his own, trying to get their cocks to rub together. Oikawa took a hold of both of them and slid his hand over them.

“Iwa-chan, do you want me?” Oikawa whispered into the kiss.

“Stop with the Iwa-chan already,” Iwaizumi complained as Oikawa sucked on a spot right under his chin.

“Hajime,” Oikawa moaned, intentionally making it sound as dirty as possible. “Do you want me to fuck you?” Oikawa’s hand wavered on their cocks. Iwaizumi’s hands were roaming Oikawa’s body, feeling the muscles tense with every movement, and he nodded breathily, struggling to speak as Oikawa sucked and bit at his neck. “Say please,” Oikawa continued, he always became commanding when he was topping, and Iwaizumi thought it extremely hot. “I want to hear you say that you want me inside you. ‘Spread me open with your cock and fill me with your come.’”

Iwaizumi moaned unusually loudly against Oikawa’s neck. His hand moved to Oikawa’s hips, and rolled his. Oikawa let go of their cocks to touch Iwaizumi’s ass, his fingers seeking the slippery hole. Iwaizumi lifted his leg over Oikawa’s hips, allowing Oikawa better access to his opening. Oikawa’s fingers poked at the pucker, teasing him. “You know what I want to hear, Haji.” He teased, and Iwaizumi sighed. 

“Please,” He whispered breathily. “Please, just fuck me already.” The sound of Iwaizumi begging sent shivers down Oikawa’s body. Oikawa pushed himself up, looking down at Iwaizumi who was lying on his back, and he situated himself between his spread legs. He sat up fully after pressing one more kiss against Iwaizumi’s collarbone. Iwaizumi watched Oikawa’s hands touch his body. They travelled down from Iwaizumi’s chest to his hips. Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi’s legs further apart, exposing Iwaizumi who was twitching with anticipation. He licked his lips, and pushed Iwaizumi’s hips slightly up from the bed to have better access.

“Wow, Haji, you’re really wet,” Oikawa chuckled as he dipped a finger into Iwaizumi’s ass. “I could just plunge into you and it’d probably be fine,” He said, pushing his finger deeper. 

“Please do,” Iwaizumi pleaded, his hands gripping on the beddings. “Just fuck me already.”

“Haji,” Oikawa started. “Such filth.” He mused, pressing a second finger in.

Iwaizumi’s hole was tight, but it spread easily around the fingers. Oikawa watched how the digits sunk into Iwaizumi’s ass, and Iwaizumi watched him staring at them.

“More,” Iwaizumi begged, rolling his hips forward, and Oikawa smirked as he obliged, pushing in a third finger.

Oikawa sniggered quietly. Sometimes it was almost too easy to make Iwaizumi plead exactly how he wanted. He looked at how Iwaizumi’s face was blushing, and drops of sweat made their way down his neck. Iwaizumi relaxed his muscles to entice Oikawa into finally fucking him. His own cock was poking at his lower stomach, still as hard as ever.

When Oikawa finally withdrew his fingers, Iwaizumi closed his eyes, awaiting the pleasure that was soon to follow. He could feel Oikawa stir, but when nothing else happened, he opened his eyes to shoot a questioning look at his husband.

“I love you, Haji,” Oikawa said.

It certainly wasn’t the first time Oikawa had made the confession, but usually it didn’t happen right before they fucked like this. He stared the setter with a confused face for a moment, before replying:

“I love you too, Tooru.”

After a few seconds of content eye contact, the tip of a familiar cock pressed against Iwaizumi’s opening. He sighed and relaxed, allowing Oikawa to push into him.

The way Oikawa’s cock filled him was perfect. Iwaizumi felt like it touched every corner of him, all the right spots, and with just the right amount of stretch. He looked at Oikawa’s concentrated face with a smile, caressing his hands over the hands pressing into the mattress right next to his hips. Oikawa lifted his hands to take a hold of Iwaizumi’s.

When he was completely in, Oikawa bent down to kiss Iwaizumi’s neck. Iwaizumi chuckled and squirmed.

“You’re so impatient,” Oikawa murmured, but took the hint and rolled his hips. 

Oikawa squeezed Iwaizumi’s hands, and Iwaizumi squeezed back. Iwaizumi let out a groan with each of Oikawa’s thrusts. He pushed his hips toward Oikawa’s, and they picked up the pace. Oikawa lifted Iwaizumi’s arms to either side of his head, and leaned down to kiss him. His cock was ramming hard into Iwaizumi, pressing against his prostate with each plunge, and it made Iwaizumi weak. 

Oikawa moaned and moved harder. He tried to get one of his hands free, but Iwaizumi wouldn’t let go. He looked at Iwaizumi with a question on his face.

“Don’t let go,” Iwaizumi pleaded. “Please, never let me go again.”

“Stupid Iwa-Chan,” Oikawa muttered. “You think you can come without me touching you?”

“I know I can,” Iwaizumi replied.

Oikawa pressed his face against Iwaizumi’s neck. “I’m really close,” he said.

Iwaizumi tightened his ass in response, making Oikawa groan and his hips stutter. He kept his hold of Oikawa’s hands, spreading his legs wider still. Oiakwa was grunting lowly right next to his ear, and he let the voice wash over him. His body trembled, his lips pressing against Oikawa’s hair, and the next push sent him over the edge. His entire body convulsed with his orgasm, driving Oikawa into a frenzy. Iwaizumi’s arms wrapped tightly around Oikawa’s back, his legs twitching uncontrollably, as Oikawa came inside him. 

“Did you like that, Haji?” Oikawa asked, out of breath. Iwaizumi hummed in response, too weak to even consider speaking yet. He felt like he was constantly on the edge of release, and so he was clinging hard on Oikawa with his entire body, the feeling so raw in him he felt tears in his eyes. Oikawa was softly rocking his hips, the movement driving Iwaizumi insane. He felt like every single muscle in his body was tense and driving him towards a new orgasm. He cried out weakly, when it hit him, his cock jerking against his own hips.

That was enough to exhaust Iwaizumi, and he let every muscle relax, his limbs dropping onto the bed. Oikawa pulled out and smiled down at Iwaizumi. 

“Was it that good?” he asked and wiped the tears that had escaped Iwaizumi’s eyes. Iwaizumi nodded and groaned. “I liked it too,” he said, pressing a kiss on Iwaizumi’s lips.

Iwaizumi sighed contently, and pressed his face against his husband's chest, starting to drift off to sleep in his arms. Oikawa nuzzled his face into Iwaizumi’s hair and inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of him as he pulled him in closer.

“Goodnight Haji.”

“Goodnight Tooru.”

Iwaizumi fell asleep quickly, but Oikawa’s mind kept wondering back to what Iwaizumi said  _ “Please, never let me go again.”  _ It was obvious that even if Iwaizumi didn’t realise it, he was still subconsciously worried that Oikawa was going to leave him again.

And Oikawa knew he still had to prove that he wouldn’t. No matter what Iwaizumi says, he still had to prove himself. And he would. He was sure he would. 


	20. Epilogue Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set four years after Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter but I had to split it into two because holy shit there was so much so I’ll post the second part to this on Sunday probs but pleas enjoy this first half :) We are at the end now guys. I’m proof reading the second part, but I have finished writing it!

“Daddy!” Hajime smiled to himself as he listened to the small pit-pat of feet coming down the hallway, and pulled the duvet over his head in an obviously lazy attempt to hide. “Daddy. Get up.” The voice that arrived at his bedroom door demanded, but he stayed still. A few seconds of silence passed, and the little girl moved closer to the bed, and shouted again. “Daddy! I know you’re there. I can see you.” She snapped, shaking him slightly, and pulling a chuckle from him as he picked her up and pulled her under the duvet with him, tickling her so that she was laughing hard. “Papa!” She called between breaths, and as she did, a heavier set of footsteps entered the room.

“Haji.” Tooru spoke in a firm tone, and both of them looked up at him.

“Uh oh.” Hajime whispered. “It looks like papa might be angry.” He smirked at Tooru who rolled his eyes in response.

“Come on, Sakura.” Tooru insisted. “Let’s go get you dressed, and then the three of us can make pancakes.” She jumped up and bounded out the room, both of them watching her run, and Tooru looked back over to his husband.

“She runs like you.” Hajime stated simply, and Tooru chuckled. The two were quiet. The silence was  _ almost _ comfortable. “They’ll call back.” Hajime confirmed, and Tooru hummed in a sad acknowledgment. “They will. It’s just a matter of time.”

Tooru sighed, and glanced at him. “How much time?” He asked in an almost heartbreaking way. “Haji, it’s been  _ two weeks _ since the try outs.” The look on his face was a combination of hopelessness and depression. “I’m not exactly an amateur. I have experience. I think nowhere wants me to play now because I’m too old.”

“You’re not too old Tooru.” Hajime spoke as he got out of bed, and pulled a T-shirt and a pair of jeans out of his dresser to change into.

“I’m thirty-three Haji.” He argued. “There’s no new starters in Japan’s Division-One this old. And there’s  _ barely _ anyone in Division-Two my age.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “And anything less than that doesn’t seem worth it.”

Hajime glared at Tooru. “Really?” Tooru looked at him, a little confused. “Anything less than that doesn’t seem worth it?”

“Oh- no- Haji- I didn’t mean-” Hajime walked past him, ignoring him completely. The past six years had been better for them, but it had also been that long since Tooru had last played professionally, and he was starting to give up hope. And everytime he spoke about it, he seemed to mess up and make it seem like he wasn’t happy with the decision he had made - choosing his husband over his career. “Hajime.” He insisted, gripping his arm to stop him from walking away.

“Are Sakura and I just a constellation prize to you? Something you’ve had to settle for?” He snapped, pulling his arm away from Tooru’s grasp. “I didn’t ask you to give everything up for me. In fact, I specifically told you not to because I knew that you’d come to resent me. And you have.  _ You  _ were the one that decided to say no when your old coach in Argentina called and asked you to go back. You didn’t even ask me, you just assumed I’d say no. But of course I’d want you to play again. I want you to be happy Tooru. And now it’s my fault that you’re not.”

“I don’t resent you.” Tooru argued. “I said no because you asked me after Makki and Mattsun’s wedding to ‘never let you go again’. And I wanted to stay with you. We had  _ just _ started talking to the adoption agency and if I had left, we probably wouldn’t have even been considered to be Sakura’s parents. You know that you and Sakura are my entire life. I love you both so much. I just-”

“You want more.” Hajime interrupted. “And I get that. I know you want to play again, I get it.” He sighed. “I want you to have it all Tooru. But I also want you to be happy if you can’t.” He explained softly, reaching out to gently hold his husband’s hand. “Tooru, you have a family. You have me, and you have a beautiful daughter who admires you more than anyone else ever will. We will support you whatever happens. But if it doesn’t happen, you still had eight years on an amazing team, and you’ll always have us.”

Tooru smiled and pulled Hajime into a warm hug. “I’m sorry if I seem ungrateful.” He spoke as he nuzzled his face into his husband's soft hair. “I love you both so much. I just miss the feeling, you know?”

“I know.”

“But the two of you are everything to me.” He pulled back just enough to look down at Hajime, but kept hold of him. “I don’t regret a thing. I promise. Okay?” Hajime looked up at him and nodded softly, and Tooru placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, pulling him back in.

They stood there, enjoying one another's embrace for a short while, before being interrupted by a tug on their shirts. They both looked down at the small girl glaring up at them. “Papa, let go of daddy.” She demanded. “I want pancakes.” She pouted and the pair chuckled. Tooru scooped her up, kissed Hajime on the cheek, then headed down the hall to Sakura’s room, smiling at Hajime over his shoulder.

Hajime headed downstairs and started making the pancake batter, and a few minutes later the pair came bounding down the stairs. “Daddy! Papa let me wear the skirt Uncle Makki got me!” She beamed, and the look of pure joy on her face warmed his heart. “Can we go and see them today?” She questioned, curiously. 

“Well, papa will have to call Uncle Mattsun to see if they’re free-” As Hajime spoke, Tooru’s phone began to ring and he left the room without even looking up. 

“Who’s calling papa?” Sakura asked, and Hajime smiled softly at her.

“I’m not sure.” He answered honestly, then picked up their daughter and sat her on the countertop. “Do you want to stir the mixture?” She smiled widely and nodded, taking the spoon and stirring the mixture with Hajime’s help. He clicked play on the radio and the two of them sang along to the music playing as they finished the mixture and Hajime turned on the stove, and made up 3 plates of pancakes, all of this before Tooru came back. The two of them sat at the dining room table to start their breakfast. “So, Sakura.” He started. 

“Daddy.” She responded, and Hajime smiled at her formality.

“Your birthday is coming up soon.”

“Yes it is.”

“Is there anything you want?” He asked simply. “You’re going to be five this year. It’s a big birthday.”

She grinned through a mouth full of pancakes. “Well,” she began before swallowing her bite of breakfast. “I want to learn how to ride a bike.” 

Hajime nodded with a pondering face, then took a bite of the pancakes himself. “We can get you a bike.” He responded. “Any specific colour?”

She hummed to herself, thinking about it a little before answering. “A black one would look less dirty.” She observed. “But I really like purple.”

“So how about black  _ and  _ purple?” He suggested, and she nodded eagerly. The two ate their breakfast, talking about a party that she could have, and what cake she would want there, as well as other party details, including guests, decorations, ect. 

Tooru came back into the room as the pair were both finishing up. “Hey.” Hajime said, not yet looking up at him. “Your pancakes are cold.” He confirmed, finally glancing up to see his husband staring at his phone, an unreadable look on his face. “Tooru?” He asked, walking over to him, slightly concerned. “Tooru?” He questioned again, gripping his chin gently and turning his face so the two were making eye contact. “Are you alright?”

“That was-“ He stuttered slightly. “That was my agent.”

“Okay?”

“So I didn’t get into the Sendai frogs.” 

Hajime looked at him sympathetically. “Oh, Tooru.”

“Do you remember the night we brought Sakura home? The fitted shirt you wore?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You look good in that shirt.” He smiled gently. “I was thinking we could all take a trip to Tokyo. You could wear that shirt, we could all go for lunch? And then the three of us can go see the Falcon vs Adler’s game?”

“Tooru. It’s okay.” He placed his hand on his husband's cheek. “We don’t have to do that.” 

Tooru chuckled slightly, and it seemed like a pitiful reaction, which tugged at Hajime’s heart strings. “It’s alright, Haji.” He insisted, leaning into the touch. “I mean, I have to be there anyway.” Hajime looked at him, confusion written on his face. “Considering I’m the Falcons’ new starting setter.”

“W-what?” Hajime stuttered. “Division One?” He questioned. “They- they want you to play division one?” He asked for clarification, and Tooru nodded, still in shock himself. Hajime leaped into his arms, a beaming smile on his face, and it snapped Tooru out of his shock, then he smiled too. Hajime kissed him deeply and enthusiastically. 

He eventually pulled back and leant his head against Tooru’s. “Thank you, Haji.” He said, tears of joy streaming down his cheeks. “Thank you for believing in me even when I didn’t.”

“Of course.” Hajime responded. “I knew you would be worth it.”

The two kissed again, and Sakura spoke up from her seat “You guys are gross.” The pair chuckled and turned to face their daughter.

“Now, who taught you to be sassy like that?” Tooru asked, acting oblivious to the fact that she was basically a mix of the two of them. 

“You did, papa.” She replied, giggling slightly to herself, and Tooru rolled his eyes, sitting at the table next to her to eat. 

The three of them sat in a content silence, enjoying each other’s company. “So, Sakura.” Tooru started. “Do you wanna come and watch me play in Tokyo?”

“Not really.” She responded, and Hajime laughed at the shocked and offended look on Tooru’s face. “But you and Daddy both look really happy whenever you play with uncle Makki and uncle Mattsun, and I like it when you’re happy.” The two of them smiled at each other then looked back at their daughter.

Tooru put his arm around Sakura. “Aren’t me and daddy always happy though?” He chuckled as he asked.

Sakura shook her head, and the two of them looked at her, confused. She was right, they weren’t always happy. But they had always tried to hide it from her, and they thought they had done a good job, but apparently not. She looked up at Tooru. “Papa, you’re always grumpy.” She pointed out. “You watch the old video’s of you playing and then you get in a bad mood all day.” She then looked up at Hajime. “And you only smile when you think me and daddy are watching. You always look sad if you think no one is there.” Tooru looked up to his husband, a soft look of sympathy on his face.

“Haji, is that true?” He asked gently as he reached his hand across the table to hold his husbands. 

Hajime looked at him, speechless, then looked back at Sakura. “How old are you again?” He chuckled nervously, ignoring Tooru’s question. “Because you talk big for a four year old.”

She shrugged at him. “What can I say? I’m observant.” She stated simply as she climbed down off her chair, and started walking away.

“And where are you going?” Hajime called after her.

“I’m four, daddy.” She shouted back to him. “I’m going to play with my doll’s.”

Tooru chuckled, then looked back at Hajime, who seemed slightly embarrassed by what she had said just moments ago. “You know you can always talk to me, Haji.” He nodded, avoiding eye contact to stop himself from breaking out into tears. “Haji.” He pressed, urging his husband to look at him. He walked over to him, and knelt down on the floor next to him, placing his hand on his cheek and turning his head so that their eyes met. “Haji, what’s wrong?” Hajime smiled as tears fell from his eyes.

He launched himself into a warm embrace and squeezed hold of Tooru, leaving the setter baffled. But he could tell his husband needed it, so he hugged him back just as tightly. “I was terrified.” Hajime finally quietly sobbed out after a long silence, still not pulling back. “When you couldn’t play after you hurt your knee, you were a completely different person.” Hajime buried his face in the crook of Tooru’s neck and inhaled deeply as he continued. “You were becoming that person again.” He said, clearly nervous about it. “And when you’re that person, you’re not the man that I fell in love with anymore.” He admitted, and Tooru pulled back, placing his hands on Hajime’s cheeks which were wet from the tears he had finally let out. “I didn’t want you  _ or  _ Sakura to see me like this.” He sniffed as Tooru wiped his cheeks.

“Hajime. You can be vulnerable.” Tooru spoke firmly. “You are  _ allowed _ to be scared.” He placed his forehead against Hajime’s. “Hell, I was scared for a minute there too.” He chuckled as he confessed. “I need you to tell me when you're scared, okay?” Hajime nodded, and Tooru continued. “Or when you’re sad. Or when you’re annoyed. Or angry. Anything. Okay?”

“Okay.” Hajime agreed, and Tooru kissed him, slowly and carefully. Almost as if he were afraid Hajime was going to break. “Tooru?” He asked as he pulled back. “We’re gonna be okay, right?” Tooru tilted his head, baffled by what he meant. “I mean, because you’ll be away four days a week. What if something happens? What if I need you?” He questioned in all seriousness.

“Haji, if you need me, I’m only four hours away. And that’s  _ if _ I drive the speed limit. Okay? It’ll be okay, I promise.” He kissed Hajime’s forehead, smiled, then stood and headed to the next room, where their daughter's laughs could be heard.

And then Hajime was alone again. With his thoughts. His family was his entire world, and he was scared of losing that when Tooru was away. A fear he knew was misplaced, but one that he felt anyway. He didn’t want to lose him. Not again. Not now that they had their daughter to think of too.

***

“And number 4, playing position of setter for the first time tonight for the Tachibana Red Falcons, Oikawa Tooru!” The crowd cheered, and Hajime lifted Sakura up so that she could wave at Tooru, who beamed up a smile and waved back. He was finally playing in Japan’s top league, and in a game against his two biggest rivals from his school years - Kageyama Tobio, and Ushijima Wakatoshi. It was what he had been working towards all this time. 

He smirked at the setter that stood opposite the net to him. “Yahoo! Tobio-Chan.” He started. “I hope you are aware, I am going to crush you today.” He smiled, and the younger smiled back at him, a glare in his eyes.

“Oikawa-san.” He responded. “Who’s the child with Iwaizumi-san?” He asked with sincere curiosity.

Tooru smiled, then chuckled. “It’s Oikawa now.” He commented.

“That’s… what I called you..?”

“No.” Tooru corrected. “It’s Oikawa Hajime.” He stated. “And the little girl is our daughter. Oikawa Sakura.” He smiled as he looked over at them again. “And me winning tonight is just as much for them as it is for me.” He glanced back at Kageyama. “So, as I stated before, I am going to crush you today.” He grinned, and Kageyama smirked back.

The game was intense - all five sets were played but the Falcons won the final set, 32-30. And when the game had ended, and Tooru went over to the sidelines, the first thing that Sakura did was leap out of Hajime’s arms into Tooru’s. He was almost knocked off his feet by the sheer power behind her leap. “Well done papa!” She cheered, and Tooru laughed, walking all the way over to the barrier to pull Hajime into the hug too.

“Congratulations Tooru.” Hajime whispered to him, following it up with a sudden kiss that Tooru smiled into, placing the hand that wasn’t holding Sakura on the small of his back to pull him in as closely as he could with the barrier in the way.

After Tooru pulled back, he smiled at Hajime. “That was a surprise.” He commented, before handing Sakura back to Hajime, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, then heading back over for his after game team meeting, and the news interviews that were inevitable. He enjoyed interviews a lot more now that he could be honest about Hajime - it was a topic that  _ always  _ came up, and he liked bragging about his amazing husband.

The reporter that was conducting his interview started with all the basics: what it felt like to be back, how he felt playing against his high school rivals, how he had trained for this, ect. “So, Oikawa.” She then moved on, “I’m sure we’d all like to know if you have someone special in your life that you’d like to dedicate this win to?” 

Tooru smiled. “Well, I’m sure you and everyone else in the arena saw the wonderful ‘congratulations’ kiss my amazing husband just gave me.” He started. “As mentioned before, this is my first time playing professionally since Argentina, and if it wasn’t for him, I would have given up on playing again a long time ago. I have never been more thankful to have someone in my life. This win - for me - is all thanks to Oikawa Hajime.”

“So he took your name then? Your husband is an athletic trainer, correct?” The interviewer asked, and Tooru nodded proudly. “Aren’t you even slightly concerned that he will use that name to profit off of? To get ahead in the field?” She questioned, and it struck a nerve with him.

Tooru tensed his jaw slightly, trying to keep his cool. “Let me just ask, would you ask me that question if I had a  _ wife  _ who had a career in the same field as me who took my last name? Or is it a homophobic thing that's happening here?” The newscaster stuttered slightly, trying to deny the accusation, but Tooru continued. “My husband’s birth name is Iwaizumi Hajime. As you probably know from  _ that  _ name, he was the athletic trainer for the Japanese Olympic Team back at the Tokyo Olympics. Before that he was extremely successful at his agency. And since then, he has written a best selling book on diet and nutrition - a book that is now a required read on the physiotherapy doctorate courses syllabus. And has founded his own company that went global two years ago, which has freed him up to spend six days a week at home with our daughter. My husband didn’t  _ need  _ my name to be successful. He was far more successful than I was before taking my name.” The interviewer was speechless, and Tooru proceeded. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to belittle him like that again. He is a huge success in the field, and he took my name out of respect for my career.” He then stood up, took off his mic and handed it to the camera man as he walked away, meeting Hajime and Sakura outside after he got changed out of his uniform. 

He smiled when he saw the pair waiting for him. Sakura was asleep in Hajime’s arms, and Hajime looked tired himself. He walked over and put his arm around Hajime as he guided them away from the arena. “So, what did they ask you that got you all riled up?” Hajime asked quietly, noticing that he had come out of the arena looking angry. 

Tooru smiled down at him, and pulled him in closer. “It doesn’t matter.” He said. “I shut them down, so it’s fine.” They reached the car, and he opened the rear door so that Hajime could put Sakura in her car seat without waking her. After closing the door, Tooru pulled Hajime in closely by the belt loops in his jeans, pulling a small giggle from him. “I love you, Haji.”

“You know, you surprised me with how easily you stopped calling me Iwa-Chan.” He commented.

Tooru smiled and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. “I love you, Iwa-Chan.” He whispered. Then placed a kiss on his other cheek. “Iwa-Chan, Iwa-Chan, Iwa-Chan.” He repeated, planting kisses all over his face after each time he said it, and pulling him a little closer.

Hajime blushed slightly as Tooru repeated his old nickname. “Tooru.” He placed his hand on his husband's chest to push him back slightly. “I need you.” He said, and Tooru pushed forward into a kiss, it was soft and gentle and he took his time. He moved his lips in tandem with Hajime’s and shifted his and his husbands positions so that Hajime’s back was against the car, and he was leaning over him. Hajime’s hands dropped to rest on the small of his back, nails barely scraping his skin beneath his untucked shirt and it made Tooru pant slightly, parting his lips so that Hajime could slip his tongue out to trace the line of Tooru’s bottom lip. It was full and soft and wet. Tooru wished he wouldn’t tease him like that, not here, with their daughter in the car.

Tooru pulled back and placed his head against the car next to Hajime, still trapping his husband against the vehicle. “Shit, Haji.” He spoke, raspily. “How do you make me feel weak  _ every time _ ?” He questioned, and Hajime chuckled. 

“Well, you’re weak-minded Tooru.” He commented, a laugh being pulled from him as his husband glared at him.

“Whatever.” Tooru responded. “When we’re home I’m going to tear you apart.” He said, thumping his fist against the car, then stepping backwards. “Get in.” He demanded, then walked around to the other side of the car, getting into the driver's seat, and Hajime got into the passenger seat, smirking at Tooru as he buckled up. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He questioned. 

“You’re gonna tear me apart, huh?” He asked, teasingly, and Tooru smiled.

***

To say that Tooru sped all the way home would have been an understatement. He barely dropped below 75 the whole way back, and got there in just over 3 hours. Hajime slept most of the way, and Tooru woke him up excitedly. “Haji. Haji!” He whisper-shouted, as he shook him to wake him up. The athletic trainer woke up with a smile on his face. “I’ll get the little monster to bed, you go wake yourself up a little, yeah?” Tooru suggested, and Hajime nodded, stepping out of the car, and stretching his arms out in a satisfying stretch to help wake himself up. “Go unlock the door?” Tooru requested, handing him the keys as he opened the rear door to lift an already sleeping Sakura out, and Hajime obliged, opening the front door for them, and planting a kiss on their daughter's forehead as she got carried past him.

Tooru took her to bed and tucked her in as Hajime went to their ensuite to splash some cold water on his face, and took off his shirt. He came back into the bedroom at the same time Tooru walked in from the hallway, and the two smiled at one another. Tooru closed the door behind him with a gentle click, then practically knocked Hajime off his feet with how fast he launched himself at him. Tooru kissed up his jaw and then finally slid their mouths together, Hajime chuckling at the excitement his husband was showing, his fingers tightening and relaxing as he gripped Tooru’s shirt and pulled him closer. Hajime pulled back from the kiss, and Tooru dipped down, kissing and biting his neck as Hajime unbuttoned his shirt.

Tooru reached down and hauled him up, and Hajime rolled his head back in a dizzy motion when he felt himself grind against Tooru’s torso. “Shit.” Hajime muttered to himself, making Tooru smile at the fast reaction he caused. It had been a while since they had last fucked, or since Tooru had even seemed interested in sex, almost as if it was something he lost when he lost hope of playing again. 

“What do you want?” Tooru whispered hungrily. “Tell me what you want.” He continued, still nipping at his neck, “Ask, and I’ll give it to you.” Hajime groaned deeply in response, and Tooru tossed him backwards onto the bed. Hajime got an eyeful as Tooru descended on him, using his teeth to snap the edge of his underwear after essentially tearing off his jeans, lips brushing against his heated skin, but it wasn’t enough. Tooru’s hands on his thighs were the only thing keeping him from taking over. Tooru pushed himself up towards Hajime’s face, crushing their lips together, and Hajime took this as the opportunity to unbutton Tooru’s jeans and made a pathetic effort to push them off before his husband laughed, pulled back, and kicked off his jeans himself, then leaning back down to plank kisses all up his husband’s body, and pulling off his underwear at the same time, discarding them somewhere behind them.

Tooru then pushed himself up, the mattress whining with the loss of his weight, and he routed around in the nightstand for the small bottle of lube that they hadn’t yet opened. Hajime’s body bounced slightly when Tooru crashed back over him, squirting a blob out onto his fingers, before reaching down between his husband’s legs. “Wider…” Tooru demanded and Hajime pushed his legs further apart at his request. Tooru looked down at him and finally, finally -

“Fuck, Tooru!” Hajime cried out as quietly as he could, arching up. “Right there.”

“I know, Iwa-Chan,” Tooru responded, smiling and leaning down to kiss his stomach as he worked his fingers, inserting a second seemingly suddenly, but Hajime was fine. He could take it. “I know.” The way Tooru had called him ‘Iwa-Chan’ again made Hajime weak. Before tonight, he hadn’t used the nickname in almost four years, and he forgot how hot it sounded.

“Just fuck me already.” He snapped, and Tooru pulled his fingers away, replacing them with the blunt head of his cock. However long it was actually taking was lost to both of them, but it felt agonizingly slow as Tooru sank into him, everything sensitive in the sticky heat of the night. Hajime felt every nudge as Tooru shifted, finally fucking into him with a shallow movement. “Do it like you mean it, damnit.” Hajime tried to demand, and Tooru complied, and the delicious sound of the headboard could be heard as it cracked against the wall. Tooru laid into him, and Hajime’s ankles jolsted apart, his legs falling open wider. But after a few thrusts, and with zero warning, Tooru paused. The noise it wrenched out of Hajime clashed with the silence that was filling the rest of the room, and as his ass clenched around Tooru, trying to cope with the feeling of that deep, aching, fullness, Tooru took a moment to pin Hajime’s arms above his head with one hand. He leaned his head low, still barely moving, and traced his free hand over the back of Hajime’s leg, and Hajime panted against his mouth as Tooru kissed him teasingly.

“Fucking move,” Hajime insisted again, surging forward to kiss him deeply. Every tiny movement reminded him of that igniting fullness, Tooru’s dick throbbing against the inside of him. “I will lose my mind…if you-”.

He yelped very slightly as Tooru slid out of him completely and hovered at his rim, teasing him even more, like it was a game, and his grip on Hajime’s wrists was so tight that his hands were beginning to tingle. “You know what I want you to say.” Tooru whispered teasingly into his ear, and Hajime groaned slightly as he chuckled. “Say it, Haji.” He requested again. “Say it and I’ll fuck you the way you  _ desperately  _ want me to.” He grinned.

Hajime rolled his eyes, and chuckled raspily. “Tooru.” He panted. “Please,  _ please,  _ fuck me the way only you can.” He spoke between heavy breaths. “I need you to fuck me.” He insisted, and Tooru smiled.

“Now, what kind of idiot would spend their life with someone with a mouth like that?” Tooru said as he kissed his cheek, the corner of his mouth, slamming his hips back into him. Hajime gasped; his fingers opened and closed over the empty air.

“You.” Hajime responded between pants. “You. Because you lo-”. 

“I love you,” Tooru cut him off, his voice hoarse with arousal. And Hajime could feel every edge of Tooru’s cock where it was again, and he was so painfully still, and he felt his knees jumping off the bed, toes flexing, trying to handle it. “I married you despite your filthy mouth.” His hips ground down, circling. Hajime grinned at him. Whatever control it was taking Tooru to not move dissolved with that look. Hajime’s voice unhitched from the back of his throat and he moaned deeply as he took Tooru over and over in smooth thrusts that brought their hips together. “Say it, Haji,” Tooru panted, nipping at his neck. “Haji, please,” he nearly whimpered and Hajime felt Tooru’s mouth ghosting over his and his hands were suddenly free. They gravitated to the back of Tooru’s head, holding him there as he brushed against that one place that made it feel like he was flying. 

“What? That I love you?” he asked, barely able to talk, then choosing to press his lips against Tooru’s instead of talking. He tangled his tongue over his husbands, and at the inside of his mouth, the scrape of his teeth and the hot heat of his tongue as it met Tooru’s again.

“Yeah.” He responded, pulling back slightly. “Shit, Haji.”

“I love you,” Hajime responded, and Tooru let out another rough, low sound. “Tooru, ah, fucking touch me-” Hajime hissed, his toes curling. His hands slid down to Tooru’s back, scratching at his shoulders as Tooru dragged his own fingers down Hajime’s chest to his neglected dick. He seized it and in five quick slides, Hajime was digging his nails in, and coming almost embarrassingly fast.

“Ah, fuck!” He clamped down. Hard. Everything seized up, and then he was weak, Tooru thrusting once into him and then sucking in a sharp breath, and two or three shallow kicks of his hips later, Hajime felt the warmth spread into him and his chest heaved as he leaned his head back against the pillows and breathed. Tooru waited a moment and then slipped out with a wet sound and Hajime shivered at the feeling of emptiness. He didn’t like it and immediately grabbed Tooru and pulled his weight down, one hand tangled into his hair the other rubbing over his back and the dip of his spine.

Tooru kissed along his hairline, then planted a final one on his cheek. “We should get cleaned up.” He insisted, and Hajime nodded, but then proceeded to just close his eyes to try and drift off. “Haji.” Tooru nudged him again. “I wasn’t wearing a condom. There’s gonna be a mess.” He pushed again. When Hajime closed his eyes again, Tooru scooped him up, and carried him into the en-suite, getting them both cleaned up before snuggling up with him in bed, both of them fresh and happy with how the whole night went.

“Congratulations Tooru.” Hajime mumbled into the silence. “Seems like you got your mojo back.” He smiled, and snuggled backwards into him, and Tooru buried his face into his hair, inhaling deeply.

Tooru smiled to himself. “I didn’t realise how far I’d been from myself until tonight.” He admitted. “Thank you for being patient with me.” He squeezed Hajime tightly. “I don’t deserve you.” He said, honestly. “You’ve been far more tolerating than I ever would have been. I was a pain in the ass and-”

“You’re always a pain in the ass.” Hajime interrupted as he rolled over so that the two were now nose-to-nose. “You’ve never not been a pain in the ass. It really wasn’t that big of a change in that sense.” He confirmed. “It was more that your mannerisms were changing. You weren’t interested in talking, or having sex, or anything. You were cold. You weren’t you.” Tooru kissed him softly; apologetically. He hadn’t meant to become distant - it just happened because he was so focused on himself. The kiss was soft and sweet and Tooru took his time, making sure what he was trying to express was clear - that he was sorry, and that he would be focusing on Hajime again. He moved his lips in unison with Hajime’s and shifted himself so that he was leaning over him again. Hajime’s hands raised to rest on his nape, taking in the gentle care that his husband was putting into it. The kiss didn’t last long - maybe only thirty seconds - but it felt like it had been an eternity when Tooru finally pulled back, and looked down at him. “That was… nice…” Hajime commented, slightly flushed.

Tooru smiled at him. “God, you’re gorgeous.” He stated, pulling a quick blush from Hajime, who turned away in slight embarrassment. “Don’t turn away from me.” He demanded, turning Hajime’s face to face him. 

“Don’t say embarrassing shit like that.” Hajime responded, pushing him off him and rolling onto his side, allowing Tooru to spoon up behind him again.

“How is it embarrassing? I’m complimenting you.” He whispered as he tucked them both in under the duvet. “I love you, Haji.” It was a simple statement after they both settled in, comfortable.


	21. Epilogue Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. This is the end

Hajime woke up the next morning to a house that smelled like waffles. He smiled to himself as he inhaled deeply, taking in the good smell and the surprising quiet that filled his home. He rolled out of bed and plodded over to the bathroom for a quick piss and to wash his face. He then opened Tooru’s closet, looking for a tshirt or jumper to pull on before joining him in the kitchen. He grinned slightly as he pulled out the selected tshirt and pulled it over his head, then heading downstairs, hair still a mess, and boxers riding up. Everything about him screamed ‘morning after’.

He walked into the kitchen quietly, and smiled upon seeing Tooru with his back to him, wireless earphones in so he couldn’t hear Hajime approaching. The athletic trainer surprised his husband when he wrapped his arms around him from behind, but the setter smiled, pulled out his earphones, and turned around to face Hajime, still being held by him. He couldn’t see anything other than the top of his head, so he planted a kiss, then turned back around to continue frying the bacon, Hajime staying attached to the back of him. “You’re clingy this morning.” Tooru commented.

“My ass hurts.” Hajime responded, and Tooru chuckled. “Is Sakura already with Hanamaki?” He questioned curiously.

“Yeah.” Tooru confirmed. “He picked her up about an hour ago and she’s staying there tonight. I was thinking maybe we could go somewhere later?”

“Where were you thinking?”

“Maybe we could take a drive to that clearing in the woods to stargaze a little? There’s a meteor shower tonight and I kinda wanna go see it?” He asked giddily. And Hajime chuckled as he finally let go of Tooru.

He moved backwards, and hopped up to sit on the island counter behind them. “Still in love with the stars, huh?” He asked rhetorically. “I guess we can go for a drive.”

Tooru turned off the stove, and turned to beam at his husband behind him, and his face dropped in shock when he saw him. Hajime was seated on the side, ankles crossed and swinging slightly, wearing nothing but his boxers and Tooru’s jersey back from when he played in Argentina. He smirked slightly as he looked him up and down. “Fuck, you look amazing.” He said, approaching his husband, then planting his hands either side of him. “You’re amazing, Haji.” Tooru started, kissing and nipping at his neck, pulling a slight giggle from Hajime as he wrapped his arms around his husband.

“Tooru, stop.” He chuckled, and felt Tooru smile against his neck as he continued. Hajime pushed him back slightly. “Tooru, come on.” He argued. “Let’s have breakfast.”

Tooru continued kissing his way up his neck, and placed his hand on Hajime’s back to pull him closer. “Can’t I just have you for breakfast?” He teased, before being pushed back by his face, and Hajime jumped down, standing in front of his husband.

After a few seconds of silence, Hajime walked around Tooru, and plated up a stack of waffles and bacon for both of them. “Let’s eat, Shittykawa.” He carried the two plates to the dining table, and Tooru followed, sitting opposite Hajime, and watched him carefully as he started eating. It took a few minutes, but Hajime eventually noticed he was being continuously stared at. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked with an almost full mouth. 

“Oh Haji,” Tooru tutted, “You need to work on your manners.” He grinned. 

Hajime rolled his eyes, swallowed his mouthful, and continued, “That didn’t answer my question.”

Tooru smiled. “It’s nice that you’re eating properly.” He said truthfully, and Hajime tilted his head in confusion. “You’ve been stressed for the past four years. You don’t eat properly or enough when you’re stressed. So seeing you actually take care of yourself is nice.” He gave a loving look, and stuffed another forkful in his mouth.

***

Tooru was already singing to himself in the shower when Hajime came upstairs after cleaning the dishes. He smiled and sat on the end of the bed as he listened to the  _ almost _ in tune song, closing his eyes as he listened. It was about 15 minutes later that Tooru came out of the bathroom, still singing, and smiled at Hajime as he did so. He continued to sing as he walked over to Hajime, pushed him backwards on the bed, and settled himself on top of him, wearing only a loose towel around his waist. He had a playful gleam in his eyes, almost as if he had a whole day of activities awaiting them ahead. 

“Hajjjiii,” he said in a sing-song tone, with his hands now resting on Hajime’s stomach, “I know you’re still hurting from last night, but do you wanna go again?” He smirked, walking his fingers up and down his husband's chest. 

Hajime grinned back at him, then pulled on Tooru’s wrist and the setter fell forward on top of him, and he wrapped his arms around him to flip them so that he was leaning over Tooru. Hajime then buried his nose in Tooru’s neck and blew a raspberry on it, an action that earned him a startled cry as Tooru wriggled in his embrace. He then planted kisses across the base of Tooru’s neck, almost as an apology, “ _ IF  _ we do go again, I’ll be fucking you this time.” He clarified, and Tooru smiled up at him.

“Well, obviously.”

“I need a shower though, so we’ll have to sacrifice our first activity.” Hajime said, leaving Tooru to think for a few seconds.

“We can do it in the shower? I know I just had one but-” Tooru suggested, hopefully. Hajime usually hated shower sex, so he was expecting a fast denial. It was a surprise to Tooru when he was suddenly hoisted up as Hajime swiftly got off the bed; his husband wrapping his legs around his waist, kissing him deeply as he was carried back into the bathroom he had just left. The eagerness of Hajime was definitely unexpected, but it was always welcome. He especially didn’t mind when he was pushed up against the shower wall with hazy thoughts as the steam surrounded them.

When they both got out, they were feeling refreshed and fulfilled. It had been a while since they had been given a full day alone together, and it would be a long time before it happened again as Tooru was about to start he’s four day a week rota in Tokyo, and Hajime was lowering his schedule to two days a week - days where Tooru could look after Sakura - so there would only be one day a week that they would both be home all day, and they knew that they would need to give their daughter as much attention as possible on those days so that she could know that they’re still as strong a family as ever. The two of them got dressed into relatively casual clothing - with Tooru in some blue jeans and a white tshirt that he’d had for over ten years now, and Hajime wearing grey jeans and a black muscle-fit poloneck. Hajime glanced over at Tooru who was now rubbing his hair dry with his towel. “Do you want me to blow dry it for you?” He asked, and Tooru smiled at him, nodding his head excitedly.

Hajime sat on the edge of the bed, with Tooru sitting on the floor in front of him. It was domestic bliss. After he had dried Tooru’s hair, he combed through it, talking as he did. “Do you remember that interview when you announced our relationship?” He asked casually.

“Every word of it.” Tooru confirmed.

“Do you ever regret it? You lost a lot of sponsorships afterwards and…”

“I wouldn’t want to represent those homophobic dickheads anyway.” Tooru interrupted. “If I had known those companies were like that, I wouldn’t have worked with them to begin with.” He insisted, but Hajime wasn’t sure how true that was. If that was really the case, why wasn’t Tooru honest from the start?

“But I mean the  _ way  _ you did it. It was sudden and it tainted your reputation, don’t you regret that?” He was obviously still nervous about all of it, even now, six years after it all happened. 

Tooru turned around, knelt up, and cupped Hajime’s face in his hands. “Haji, I don’t regret a second of the announcement. The only regret I have is not saying anything sooner.” He looked intensely into Hajime’s eyes, flicking between the two of them. “I love you Haji. I made that announcement because I would rather lose sponsors than lose you.  _ I  _ made the decision. And I don’t regret it at all. Okay?” Hajime nodded sheepishly, embarrassed by the fact that he still felt insecure about this. Tooru kissed him, gently but intensely. A kiss that said how he felt. A kiss that meant so much more than just a mere kiss. He pulled back and Hajime smiled, chucking slightly at how stupid he felt now. 

“I love you too, Tooru.” He said softly as he let his face lean into the gentle touch of his husband's hands.

***

The drive up into the mountains was a short one. Tooru was giddily bouncing the whole way up, and the sight made Hajime smile. “Haji, why did you agree to this? You hate the cold.” He questioned, not complaining, merely curious.

Hajime side-eyed him and grinned. “There’s a meteor shower tonight. You said you wanted to see it. Besides, I know you can keep me warm.”

“Awh! Haji! That’s so sweet.” Tooru remarked as they parked, leaving the car in a layover at the edge of the mountain road, then walking through the forest the same way they had thirteen years ago. “This was a really good idea.” He commented as they reached the clearing and Hajime lay out the blankets for them both.

“Well, you need to relax sometimes.” He said, sitting on the blanket, and tapping the floor next to him to invite Tooru to sit next to him, an offer that the setter happily took up. He snuggled up to Hajime who reacted by slinging an arm around his shoulder and pulling him into his chest, leaning back in the process so that they were both gazing up at the sky. The clearing was small, but neither of them minded as it meant that they had to stay close in order to see the open sky above. Tooru inhaled deeply, allowing the natural scent of Hajime to overpower the outdoorsy aroma of the trees and grass. They lay in blissful silence for what felt like hours, just looking up at the sky. Hajime could feel Tooru slowly weighing heavier on him so he nudged him slightly, jolting him back awake. “Don’t fall asleep. This was your idea.” He insisted.

“How long until the meteor shower?” Tooru wondered, sleepily. It had been a long day for them and it was almost reaching 10pm, so of course he would be tired now.

Hajime checked his watch “Just three more minutes.” He assured, stroking his husband's hair gently. Tooru hummed contently. He rolled over so that he was fully on his back, head now resting on Hajime’s shoulder, and stared up into the sky, where the stars could be seen between the clouds. He settled quickly into the familiar touch of Hajime’s fingers slowly tracing patterns on his arm. Time ticked on and Tooru eventually mumbled a thank you that was almost too quiet to hear. 

“It’s nothing,” Hajime insisted. “Really.”

“It is something!” His husband argued, pushing himself up to pout at Hajime. “Because you hardly agree to take me places anymore.” He whined. “So it’s nice when you do.”

Hajime took a second to glance at and study Tooru’s face, and his heart pounded with overwhelming affection for him, feeling guilty that he hadn’t actually done something just for Tooru since before they adopted Sakura. “I- I’m sorry.” Hajime finally spoke, knowing that he just wanted to give him the whole damn world, and he would if he could. “I promise to plan a date for one of the days you’re home every month, okay?” And for some reason, it made Tooru feel flustered, the pout dropping from his face. But Hajime wasn’t the only one of the two that was seized with an endless amount of adoration when he looked at his partner. And it was times like this one, times when Hajime bore his tenderness, and was completely naked emotionally, that Tooru couldn’t believe that the person he got to spend his life with was the one person he had known since childhood. The only person that knew everything about him - good and bad. 

“That sounds good,” Tooru said, pretending the way Hajime had just folded didn’t affect him as much as it had. “And we should start with-”

“Shut up.” Hajime interrupted, looking past his face. “Look.” He pointed up at the sky. Tooru turned and lay back down on Hajime’s shoulder, his words dying in his throat as he was captured in awe by the first signs of light radiating from a single point in the sky. In a matter of seconds, the sky erupted with streaks of light, shooting across the darkness. They traveled fast and Tooru unconsciously held his breath as he tried to follow each and every one of them with his eyes. He was engulfed by the way they burned, and the view carved itself in Tooru’s memory.

They couldn’t deny that the meteor shower was immensely breath-taking, but as Hajime glanced at his husband, he became perfectly aware that it didn’t have the same effect on him as it had on Tooru, who was clearly taken aback by the sight. As he focused his attention on Tooru instead, the meteor shower became a mere scene in his peripheral vision, and Hajime was reminded of when they were children and Tooru would continuously talk about space and all of its amazing features. He was hit with a sense of nostalgia and he recalled the first time Tooru ever saw a comet, and how excited he had become. He turned his head and pressed a soft kiss on Tooru’s temple.

“Haji,” Tooru inhaled, his eyes never leaving their fixed position on the sky. “Are you seeing this?”

“I am,” He claimed, but he barely pulled away. The way the sky was illuminated by the intermittent flashes of light, and the speckles of stardust logically would have left anyone mesmerised. But not Hajime. Because, for him, it didn’t even come close to the impeccable beauty of Tooru. The faded freckles on his nose that showed up more prominently when he had a tan. The smile lines next to his eyes from years of laughing, and the frown lines that were starting to show on his forehead from his constant pouting. The shape and fullness of his lips. And the intensity and passion that was always displayed in his big brown eyes.

“Imagine if we could make these happen all the time!” He beamed, never taking his eyes off the sky. “These are amazing.”

Hajime hummed slightly. “Wouldn’t that take away from the beauty of them though? Seeing them all the time?” He realised the hypocrisy of his statement, knowing that no matter how many times he saw Tooru it wouldn’t take away from his beauty. 

“Of course not.” Tooru responded. “But the rareness of them does make it a little bit more special.” He agreed slightly. 

“I’ll make every moment we’re together feel as special as this.” Hajime assured without thinking. 

Tooru chuckled slightly, and turned only to meet Hajime’s determined eyes. “You can’t promise that.” He argued.

“I can promise to try.” Hajime retorted, seeming to be entirely serious, based on the way he proceeded to hold Tooru’s gaze and spoke with intense resolve. Tooru played along.

“In that case, I’ll look forward to it.” Tooru smiled genuinely, the kind of smile that made Hajime feel even more sure about the fact that he would absolutely go to the ends of the universe and back for him. In the sky above them, the meteors were becoming scarce. Hajime was perfectly content to lay there all night to just enjoy his presence, so he was surprised when Tooru suddenly raised himself up and clambered so that he was half on top of him. He dipped his head down so that their noses were almost touching. “I can’t thank you enough for this, Haji,” he spoke against his lips. “I think you’re the only one in the entire universe that would put up with all my shit like this.” He confessed. 

Hajime felt his heart thump against his chest and curved his fingers around Tooru’s nape to pull him down for an intense kiss. Their lips slotted together perfectly, giving Hajime the opportunity to lick across the edge of Tooru’s lip, who then leaned in closer, embracing the feeling when Hajime finally slipped his tongue in. Hajime smiled against Tooru’s lips as small sounds of pleasure escaped from his throat. Hajime’s hands began to wander, eventually finding their way beneath Tooru’s tshirt and running along his hip. It made Tooru shiver, and he broke the kiss, releasing a deep exhale against Hajime’s mouth. Hajime opened his eyes and refocused his vision, looking up into Tooru’s brown eyes, and all it did was make him desperate for more. Just more of him.

He launched forward to catch his mouth again and slid his hand up across his husband’s smooth skin, one hand reaching his hair and then tugging at it slightly. The gasp that leaves Tooru’s mouth only encourages him further and he tightens his grip, adjusting Tooru’s head as he wanted. Tooru dug his fingers into his shoulder as one of Hajime’s cold hands ran up the heat of his back and he unconsciously pressed closer into Hajime’s hips. Tooru whimpered slightly when Hajime let go of his hair in favour of sneaking a hand under his waistband, sliding it around so that it was between both of their hips, and he was palming him through his underwear. Tooru giggled giddily, and was full of desire, but he was still aware of where they were. As empty as the clearing seemed, they were still out in the open, and the last time they fucked outside, they got caught.

“Are we really gonna do it here?” He questioned hesitantly, his voice was raspy and his cheeks were beginning to flush. Hajime took a moment to consider the question and nodded confidently, pulling Tooru back down, and strategically adjusted himself so that he could flip them so he was now above Tooru, smiling down at him. 

He paused for a moment, gazing at the love of his life below him, and he moved some of his hair off his face, now able to see the stars reflected in his eyes. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He asked, and Tooru blushed furiously.

“Shut up.” He dismissed him, embarrassed.

They created a memory that night as they made love under the stars on a twelve year old blanket. It was a cold night, but they kept each other warm.

***

Tooru was fast asleep by the time they pulled into the driveway, and Hajime felt guilty waking him. Instead, he got out, walked around to the other side of the car, and lifted him out, Tooru cuddling into him and humming contently. “So you  _ are _ awake?” Hajime teased as he shut the car door with his hip and clicked the button to lock it behind him.

“I’m not.” He mumbled, and Hajime smiled to himself at how adorable the man in his arms was. Tooru had left the door unlocked - as usual - so it was easy to get in, and he kicked the door closed behind him, carrying Tooru upstairs to bed. He placed him gently down on their mattress, then got himself ready to sleep. 

He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, looking over his sleeping husband, and it hit him. This was happy. This was what his happiness felt like. He had a successful business that allowed him to set his own work hours. Tooru was home  _ and  _ playing professional volleyball. And they had a beautiful daughter who was smart and loved them, and they loved her. This was it. This is what he had wanted for them since day one. And it was finally happening.

This was happy. This was home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking around and reading this. I really hope you enjoyed it


End file.
